Wits end

huzzahuzza · January 2014

I cried when my alarm went off this morning.

Some of you are going to roll your eyes and think "oh poor baby" but I'm tired. The only thing about J that is consistent is that he's inconsistent! We go from eating 4 oz every.single.time to eating 2 then 4 then 2 then maybe 6 then maybe 5. We went from waking up once a night for a 6 oz bottle to 3 times a night for a 4 oz bottle but Friday night he STTN. Some weeks he'll poop the most solid rock hard poops I've ever seen from a baby and others they will be loose and "frothy." Sometimes he'll go to sleep by himself, other's he needs to be rocked to sleep. I can't even get him to LAUGH at the same things twice. I swear to you, if I did the EXACT same thing tomorrow that I did today, nothing would be the same from him.

I know this is part of motherhood. I know that this is what I signed up for. Flame away if you must. But I'm an answers person and I mostly want to know why I don't get a baby that STTN!!!! I want to know why my child is not sleeping through the night when he's eaten 32 oz during the day but will sleep through the night on 28 oz. He'll STTN with one 2 hour nap but won't with 2 one hour naps (maybe?). There is no rhyme or reason to his madness, so I feel like I'm helpless.

I feel like I can't sleep train him because I don't have any patterns to go off of. Maybe that's my biggest problem is that I can't help him STTN if I don't know exactly WHY he's not STTN.

I probably should end this rambling mess of a post now.

edit: for clarity, if there was any to be had...

JoJo716 · January 2014

We are in the same boat with sttn. DS has been a horrible sleeper since birth. However, at night we bedshare and that allows me to get a little more sleep. He usually gets up 2-3 times per night and it is worse if he is teething. My biggest struggle has been napping. He just doesn't nap. I am lucky if he gets an hour nap total per day. I used to get stressed about it and try to get him to nap but it wouldn't work. Finally, around 5 months, I stopped fighting it. I let him nap wherever, whenever he wants for however long he wants. Sometimes that ends up being on me, sometimes the car, and sometimes he doesn't nap at all. I know this isn't conventional, but I found when I lowered my expectations and followed his cues, I was a lot less stressed. I am sorry I don't have better advice

surpriseaddition · January 2014

I agree with JoJo about lowering your expectations. As a mother of 3 kids, I can tell you there are no clear cut answers as a parent. Just like you are struggling where one thing works one day and not the next, every child is different...and what worked for your first baby inevitably won't work for the next. It is an adjustment to go from being able to control things in your life, to realizing you really can't control things. Kids will get sick, accidents will happen, and you realize you are more "along for the ride" versus driving the ship. I hope you're able to maybe work with your SO and get at least one night of guaranteed sleep each week. That could maybe give you some reliability. GL!

kmcd23 · January 2014

I just don't think we can expect consistent STTN at this age. I think people glorify it, but it's not realistic for every baby.

botanicalbliss · January 2014

I feel ya. My kid has never STTN, and he'll be 8 months old next week. I have no advice, just sympathy. They grow out of it eventually, right?

huzzahuzza · January 2014

botanicalbliss said:
I feel ya. My kid has never STTN, and he'll be 8 months old next week. I have no advice, just sympathy. They grow out of it eventually, right?

oh my God, what if they don't!?!?!?

Thanks ladies, I guess I do have a better attitude when I realize I can't control it.

watuzzigal · January 2014

I'm with you. I've had two five-hour stretches in the past 7.5 months. She's never slept longer than that, much less through the night.

I guess I just thought it would be like this the first year, so I'm always like, eh she doesn't sleep through the night. BUT I'm also like prying my eyes open sometimes, so I'm not completely nonchalant about it.

Also, I think I remember a BTDT mom laughing on here while we were still pregnant when someone said she was looking forward to getting caught up on rest. The BTDT mom was like... That never happens. So, I'm just like, yah, it's my life. But then sometimes I still cry about not sleeping.

Hugs from one mom with a baby that defies sleeping logic to another.

AimeeSue02 · January 2014

You basically just described my child....I am at my wits end too. I have a type A personality...I like to have things in control and know the answers! I guess I just have to go along for the ride. Glad you asked this, some people had some great advice!

LULULEM0N · January 2014

I feel the same way sometimes too. I wish I could 'figure' things out all the time and then just have to keep telling myself it's not like that with kids! My son has always been a crappy napper and has just recently started taking some naps that are longer than 30 minutes. BUT some days he will take two hour plus long naps and then the next day he will only take two 30 minute naps and I usually have to fight to get him to nap. I just don't get it! I just tell myself there is nothing I can figure out and fix and I just have to go with the flow. Hang in there - at least you know you aren't the only one. Misery loves company, right?! :P

Boo0512 · January 2014

My kid STTN for about 2 months straight (2 mos-4mos) and she has only STTN maybe 3 or 4 times since then.

I did sleep training and that worked well for about two weeks (only waking once a night usually) but then dd got sick and it's been a clusterfluck ever since. I am up with her about 5 times in the MOTN and I'm sleeping in the recliner with her.

At this point I'm just telling myself that eventually, someday it won't be this way. Then I'll have kid #2 and they'll also hate me and not let me sleep. So there's that.

Lolalipsy · January 2014

watuzzigal said:
I'm with you. I've had two five-hour stretches in the past 7.5 months. She's never slept longer than that, much less through the night.

I guess I just thought it would be like this the first year, so I'm always like, eh she doesn't sleep through the night. BUT I'm also like prying my eyes open sometimes, so I'm not completely nonchalant about it.

Also, I think I remember a BTDT mom laughing on here while we were still pregnant when someone said she was looking forward to getting caught up on rest. The BTDT mom was like... That never happens. So, I'm just like, yah, it's my life. But then sometimes I still cry about not sleeping.

Hugs from one mom with a baby that defies sleeping logic to another.

This is us too. I get some comfort knowing that babies that sleep through are the exception not the norm.

I thought I was sleep deprived in pregnancy. All I can say is that I was talking sh:t. This, here and now is sleep deprived.

littledaisies · January 2014

Sorry I have no advice because my little guy doesn't STTN. He only gives me 2-3 hour stretches at night. That's pretty much how it's been since the beginning.

I'm sure it's probably a waste of money but I contacted a sleep consultant. I'm not expecting any magic tricks or a baby that will instantly STTN. I'm hoping she can tell us if there's something we are missing or possibly doing something that is making it worse. If in any way this lady helps us get him to sleep for 4- 5 hours at a time then it's worth the money to me. If not then it's advice I can use for the next one!

bhjones1980 · January 2014

My mom gave me one EXCELLENT piece of advice... do not try to "figure out" babies patterns, habits, trends, because they change with no rhyme or reason and you will drive yourself crazy trying to diagnose and change their habits.

so I go with the flow...

for what it is worth, we have gotten one STTN ever and they was no reason for it, he changes his nightly pattern like I change my underwear!

bhjones1980 · January 2014

My mom gave me one EXCELLENT piece of advice... do not try to "figure out" babies patterns, habits, trends, because they change with no rhyme or reason and you will drive yourself crazy trying to diagnose and change their habits.

so I go with the flow...

for what it is worth, we have gotten one STTN ever and they was no reason for it, he changes his nightly pattern like I change my underwear!

huzzahuzza · January 2014

It helps! And I have that book... I'll have to go back and re-read that section!

snowgirl427 · January 2014

Sleep? I vaguely remember experiencing that before.....

JulieK79 · January 2014

littledaisies said:
Sorry I have no advice because my little guy doesn't STTN. He only gives me 2-3 hour stretches at night. That's pretty much how it's been since the beginning.

I'm sure it's probably a waste of money but I contacted a sleep consultant. I'm not expecting any magic tricks or a baby that will instantly STTN. I'm hoping she can tell us if there's something we are missing or possibly doing something that is making it worse. If in any way this lady helps us get him to sleep for 4- 5 hours at a time then it's worth the money to me. If not then it's advice I can use for the next one!

My girlfriend has twins and they hired a sleep consultant when the babies were about 6 or 7 months old and she said it was the best money they have ever slept. Hope you have just as much luck.

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