Moms of 2+...questions from a soon to be mom of 2

Natty13umppo · January 2014

So I'm due with LO#2 in about 10 weeks and have done absolutely nothing to prepare and yet have also not freaked out about it yet. Normal? Am I in denial and just too consumed with keeping up with my two year old to realize what's about to hit with another newborn?? And what do I REALLY need to have ready before LO#2 arrives? The plan is s/he (we're team green) will sleep in our room for the first few months in the same PnP DD used....so we just have to get that set up. I DO need to buy some diapers and wash DD's newborn/0-3 clothes (we were team green with her, too, so we should have a fair number of gender neutral outfits). I'm hoping to BF so don't plan on buying formula or washing bottles yet. I guess I should open the box with all the newborn stuff at some point and see what might be useful. We need to install the infant carseat base at some point. I need to pack a hospital bag. Ummmmmmmmmm....am I missing something??

The only thing I'm really worried about is care for DD while I'm at the hospital (we don't have family in town....well....SIL is in town but she has a 1 year old and works full time so I'm not sure we can count on her availability?) Were you all lucky enough to have family in town? Or close friend? Or did you have family come in town X days/weeks before you were due? How did you handle care for your other LOs while you were in the hospital with #2+?

I know this can vary wildly, but how did your due date compare with the birthdate for your LOs? DD was 11 days past due so I think on average I should expect this one maybe a week past due? But....I'm also sort of freaked out that this one will be weeks early instead just to keep me on my toes. Ack! I'm much more uncomfortable with the whole uncertainty of when this one will be born this go around. I was pretty chill about it last time, but I think this time it's just feels so much more complicated with trying to figure out all the scenarios and care for DD. Ugh.

Any other random bits or words of advice for a soon to be mom of 2???

mbgreenwalt · January 2014

It sounds like you have all the basics listed to get ready at home. I feel like with #2 we only used the swing, carseat, Boppy, bassinet, clothes, diapers, burp rags, and bottles. I didn't go crazy getting tons of prep and stuff for her. The only thing I was frantic about was getting my house super clean and organized - my nesting was in hyperdrive with her.

We have both sides of our family very close. My mom lived one exit away from the hospital exit so we dropped DD1 off on our way there. DH was with me for the first night, because I had her at almost 1am. He went home later that afternoon and stayed with DD1 because she did not do well away from home. It was actually really nice to have DD2 all to myself and have that relaxing quiet time before going home the next day.

I was induced 8 days late with DD1. I was induced on my due date with DD2, but she was distressed during my NST (her cord was around her neck twice). I'm guessing she would have been a few more days if I didn't need to be induced.

Good luck and enjoy! I don't really have any other advice. I thought the second time around was way easier.

RedCamaro · January 2014

Wow! There's a lot going on for you in the new year! I would certainly get started in the home first. Get the clothes out and clean any baby items you'll be using again (what if you happen to go 3 weeks early?). Not sure if you had a successful BFing time with your DD, but I would certainly make sure I found a lactation consultant before having LO.

We did have family close by, so DD went with Grandma for 3 nights. My only suggestion here is to not limit your preparedness plans based on your previous experience. DS was a whole different experience! Because of that, I would make sure to have someone else watch your DD. DS was born with a heart condition and was tongue tied so BFing was very challenging. Then we discovered that he had a milk allergy (a month later). You need to make sure your in-hospital support can help you through the birth, and not be concentrating on entertaining your DD at the same time.

Also, bring a check list of stuff to take home from the hospital. Somehow, DS's birth foot prints were left at the hospital and thrown out.

Lastly, you never really know when you'll go into labor. With DD (my first), she was 2 weeks early. My second pregnancy was complicated and we ended up doing an induction at 38 1/2 weeks. I'm sure DS would have stayed in there longer if it were up to him. I was my mother's 3rd and ended up being 11 days overdue.

I wish you the best!

smwiggle · January 2014

I was much more chill with DS2. I would just get some clothes washed and get the car seat ready. Maybe also a bottle or two just in case. I didn't get anything ready for DS2 until I was like 36 weeks.

We were overseas with both boys. My mom flew in on January 1 and I was due on January 8. I had DS2 on Jan 3. It was nice that she was there, but our back up was our neighbors if I went early.

I had DS1 at 36 weeks and DS2 at 39 weeks.

Good luck with everything and hope it all works out.

caffrin · January 2014

Sounds like you have just about everything you need. I would suggest getting diapers soon rather than later. I had DS right around his due date but DD was 3 weeks early. I ended up having to run out to target the day before I had her while I was in labor and installed the seat through contractions because I just wasn't prepared for that part (DH just got home from deployment and was on a plane home which is why I ended up doing it all myself).

I actually went home (8hours away) for my pregnancy because I had no one to care for DS and DH was away. Can't really help with that part.

And as I said, I went into labor about 3 weeks early with DD which surprised me because I had to be induced with DS.

Natty13umppo · January 2014

caffrin said:

And as I said, I went into labor about 3 weeks early with DD which surprised me because I had to be induced with DS.

Yeah....that's what I'm trying to prepare myself for.... My water broke the night before I was to be induced with DD. I just feel this one will be another late baby, but I do keep joking that this one will be 3 weeks early. We'll see!!!

I think the second labor is almost harder to prepare for (at least for me) because first time, even though I read stuff, took chidbirth classes, etc, I really had NO IDEA what it would be like once I got there. Now I've been through it once and I have to remind myself that it may not be ANYTHING like that the second time.

Thanks, ladies! I do feel super chill about it this time (except for the due date uncertainty). I'm pretty sure the biggest essential is just car seat to get home (OMG, installing it during labor sounds awful!) and worst case is I send DH out to buy stuff while i"m in the hospital. Ha! And to ease my worry about care for DD, I'm meeting with a doula this weekend and I hope that if I'm able to have a doula with me, I'll feel much more comfortable if something happens and DH needs to be away with DD while we are waiting for someone to get to town to care for her or something...

RedCamaro · January 2014

Oh I'm sure you'll love having a Doula! I almost started the training to become one. Sometimes it's easier to focus on the doula than hubby (not that he wouldn't be helpful).

I hope everything goes smoothly for you and baby! Definitely update us and let us know how everything went.

JamiesWife2010 · January 2014

@natty13umppo I could have written this word for word. I don't have advice because I'm overly relaxed about bringing #2 home.

Like you, my biggest concern is care for DS1 while I'm delivering. The one friend that lives in town (& could watch ds)is moving sometime soon-ish. Right now, the closest family is 1.5 hours away. I don't really know what we are gonna do. Home delivery would makes things easier, as far as that goes. Lol

Good luck!! Can't wait to hear about the new lo!

Natty13umppo · January 2014

JamiesWife - hope you are doing well! I suggest looking into the doula thing if you guys can swing it! Turns out, I'm looking at a doula cooperative that also offers postpartum services. One of their "postpartum" services (as in - it doesn't have to do with labor) is that they can have one of the postpartum doulas do sibling care while you are in labor (or until other family can get there)! Again, I don't know if you'd have something like that where you are, but it might be worth looking in to.

And after meeting with the doulas on Saturday, I really think I'm going to go with a labor doula so I'll have someone with me if DH is tied up awhile waiting for family to get over for DD (we may or may not do the postpartum doula sibling sitter thing, depending on when labor happens). Just knowing someone will be with me so DH can be with DD has calmed me down a lot. I hope DH can of course be with me as much as possible (and he wishes the same) but we're both happy with this plan. Also, because I'm hoping for a VBAC, I think a doula will be really useful in helping with that so I'm excited about it all around.

JamiesWife2010 · January 2014

I'm doing great other than this pregnancy flying by! I may have to look into the doula thing! I'm praying & crossing all of my crossables that labor goes like it did with DS. If I labor at home for 8 hours like last time, SOMEONE would be here to keep DS.

I am really thinking about looking for a sitter to start using. The only person who has ever kept DS(overnight or for a few hours, even) is my cousin who lives 1.5 hr away. I need to loosen my grip, haha.

RedCamaro · January 2014

JamiesWife2010 said:

I'm doing great other than this pregnancy flying by! I may have to look into the doula thing! I'm praying & crossing all of my crossables that labor goes like it did with DS. If I labor at home for 8 hours like last time, SOMEONE would be here to keep DS. I am really thinking about looking for a sitter to start using. The only person who has ever kept DS(overnight or for a few hours, even) is my cousin who lives 1.5 hr away. I need to loosen my grip, haha.

Expect your labor to be about half the time it was for your first. I had heard that before my second and it was true for me. My first was about 8 hours and my second was about 4.5 hours.

JamiesWife2010 · January 2014

RedCamaro said:

JamiesWife2010 said:

I'm doing great other than this pregnancy flying by! I may have to look into the doula thing! I'm praying & crossing all of my crossables that labor goes like it did with DS. If I labor at home for 8 hours like last time, SOMEONE would be here to keep DS.

I am really thinking about looking for a sitter to start using. The only person who has ever kept DS(overnight or for a few hours, even) is my cousin who lives 1.5 hr away. I need to loosen my grip, haha.

Expect your labor to be about half the time it was for your first. I had heard that before my second and it was true for me. My first was about 8 hours and my second was about 4.5 hours.

This is what I'm scared of! Ahhhh! I'm more scared this time around than the 1st.

Natty13umppo · January 2014

RedCamaro said:

JamiesWife2010 said:

I'm doing great other than this pregnancy flying by! I may have to look into the doula thing! I'm praying & crossing all of my crossables that labor goes like it did with DS. If I labor at home for 8 hours like last time, SOMEONE would be here to keep DS. I am really thinking about looking for a sitter to start using. The only person who has ever kept DS(overnight or for a few hours, even) is my cousin who lives 1.5 hr away. I need to loosen my grip, haha.

Expect your labor to be about half the time it was for your first. I had heard that before my second and it was true for me. My first was about 8 hours and my second was about 4.5 hours.

And this is what I'm worried about, too! Last time I had ZERO labor indications until my water broke. No contractions until a few hours later and then, about 10 hours after my water broke, since i had made no real progress, they introduced pitocin. Another 9 hours or so of pitocin and STILL no progress so finally I ended up with a Csection. So when I hear "second time is faster" I have NO IDEA what that means for me!!!

alyss0nl · January 2014

I'm so glad I read this. We're getting DS into his new room right now. We have time since this baby is due in July, but DS is a stubborn little kid. I'm expecting to go earlier (DS was born at 38w6d) with a much faster labor. We fortunately have lots of people who could watch DS, so this isn't even a concern right now.

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