Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Decoding MOTN Crying

Ok, so it doesn't happen every night and some nights it is only 5 minutes and some nights it is off and on for an hour. I try really, really hard only to go in if I see there is a major problem needing addressing because if he sees me or even thinks I'm in the room with him - it makes it much, much worse. He has never ever pooped at night so I know it is not that so I know he doesn't need his diaper changed. So, about 95% of the time, I don't go in but I do monitor it because if he sounds super upset or it goes on non-stop - I will eventually go in but that only happens 5% of the time but that doesn't make it any easier. 

He can't say what is wrong and I know he isn't afraid of the dark and do 18 month olds have nightmares? I can't think of anything that they would be having night mares about. I guess some nights it could be his teeth but usually if he is having problems with them during the day I give him some tylenol before bed. I thought one night maybe he was cold - so I sneaked in and recovered him but it didn't stop that particular night - it was still off and on for 30 more minutes. When I watch him in the monitor, he doesn't get up or anything, he is just laying there. Some times I think he is just upset because he woke up and wants to go back to sleep and is frustrated that he isn't falling asleep - is that a possible reason? 
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Re: Decoding MOTN Crying

  • Yes, they do have nightmares. It can be about anything, like people they saw and things that happened to them.
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  • Ok, then how do you know they are having or had a nightmare and that is why they are upset? 
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  • He still only has 4 teeth - he still needs all the rest of them. I don't want to sound harsh here that is why I'm trying to get more opinions on what the problem could be but I don't want my DS to get in the habit of crying just to see me .... I need him to really need me. Plus I don't want to make it worse .... he has a even HARDER time getting back to sleep if I go in. 
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  • If my DD cries cries for longer than a minute or two I go in, if it's a fussy cry I wait about 5. I figure she needs me and I want her to know I'll always be there for her.


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  • Our pediatrician said that night terrors start at 18 months.  I have no good solution for you though as we are in the same boat.  Our DS is the same - if we go in, then there is no way he'll fall back asleep for hours and we don't want him to lose sleep.  Usually he can't even fall asleep if we are in the same room as him.  We generally just let him cry unless he sounds extremely distressed.
  • Yes, my DS has had trouble with nightmares. Turns out he doesn't like shadows (which were created by the night light). For him the solution was to turn off the night light.

    As far as decoding cries. If he just whines a little and moves around a bit I don't bother him. He usually goes right back to sleep after a few minutes. If he wakes up screaming I assume something is wrong and he needs help because either he's had a bad dream or he isn't feeling well.

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  • I have one of those babies that will not go back to sleep with normal soothing methods. The only thing that seems to work is snuggling for a bit in the glider and then putting her back in the crib while I lie down on the twin bed in her room.
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  • Our pediatrician said that night terrors start at 18 months.  I have no good solution for you though as we are in the same boat.  Our DS is the same - if we go in, then there is no way he'll fall back asleep for hours and we don't want him to lose sleep.  Usually he can't even fall asleep if we are in the same room as him.  We generally just let him cry unless he sounds extremely distressed.
    This as well.... if I go in, that's only going to prolong the situation. I will only go in if 1. it's an unusually loud/screechy  cry or 2. it's been going on for more than 40 minutes or so. Most of the time, within 15 minutes he's back asleep for the night.
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  • My little guy is just nearing 10 months, but is a SUPER early teether, and I came looking for this exact topic.  He's definitely teething molars, but he wakes up to 3 times a night in pain, and wants comforting, regardless of Tylenol/Baby Orajel use.  I don't want him to get in the habit of dragging me out of bed multiple times a night, but still want to be attentive to him.  So I feel as though I'm between the same rock and hard place where you're living. 

    I monitor his cries, and if he starts to get loud or audibly more distressed, I go to him, however many times I've already been up.  But I try to at least give him an opportunity to self-soothe before going in. 

    Anyone know how long it typically takes the first year molars to come in?  This can't end soon enough.

  • You mentioned he only has 4 teeth...to me what you're describing definitely sounds like teething. When dd is teething, she'll sometimes wake up in the middle of the night with a cry and/or moan. I always wait a few minutes when she wakes at night crying to see if she'll put herself back to sleep and she always does (usually within 1 minute) but if the crying was prolonged I'd eventually go in. Anyway, sounds like teething to me!
  • Thanks for the advice guys. I appreciate it. 
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  • erinmc1 said:

    My little guy is just nearing 10 months, but is a SUPER early teether, and I came lookingHough. this exact topic.  He's definitely teething molars, but he wakes up to 3 times a night in pain, and wants comforting, regardless of Tylenol/Baby Orajel use.  I don't want him to get in the habit of dragging me out of bed multiple times a night, but still want to be attentive to him.  So I feel as though I'm between the same rock and hard place where you're living. 

    I monitor his cries, and if he starts to get loud or audibly more distressed, I go to him, however many times I've already been up.  But I try to at least give him an opportunity to self-soothe before going in. 

    Anyone know how long it typically takes the first year molars to come in?  This can't end soon enough.

    My DD's first year molars took 2 months to fully come in. It seemed like a ridiculously long time. She wasn't fussy the whole time though. Just a bad day here and there.
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  • One of my dds wakes up crying in the motn occasionally for seemingly no reason. I'll usually get her up and sit on a chair in the livingroom and doze until she's sound asleep and I can put her back down. But sometimes it's like every night for a week and then I know we've gotten into a habit and I'll let her cio one night (usually takes like 30 minutes) and then it doesn't happen again for awhile
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