Irrational fear super random

Hummingbirdbaby3 · January 2014

Ok so I am so terrified lately since everything has happened with DH. He is healthy now and I am so blessed and grateful. But I am so scared. The Friday of his surgery he went back in for emergency surgery that same night and I truly thought I would lose my husband, my best best friend.
Now I have this irrational fear of losing him. I know he's ok and recovering. But I keep thinking that we have been so blessed in my family. No illness that couldn't be fixed, no tragedy, no widows, no nothing. So I keep thinking something terrible is bound to happen. I know it's irrational and I shouldn't be negative because I'm truly not a negative person. I just had such a scare with DH that I can't stop these thoughts. And I keep finding myself reading terrible stories of women who lost their hubby's to an accident ot sudden tragedy and were left widowed at a young age. I read these stories and become so obsessed and sad. It's scaring me. Silly I know. Anyways.... No real reason for this post except to get this out I guess. I'm a faith filled person but I keep finding myself thinking these things.

jg1011 · January 2014

Aww Hummingbird....I'm sorry! What you are feeling is perfectly normal given your circumstances and experience. I know that it's easy for someone to say "Don think like that!" But essentially that's what you need to do.

You need to try to stop reading those stories. Remember when we were all first pregnant...it was so easy for us to go in google and find out about every pain and cramp. But the horror stories we read were awful! Those stories are not helping. Find the success stories...stories of women who are now old and gray writing about the full life they have lived with DH and family.

Create our own wish list...things you plan on doing as a family--so you can say focused on all the good to come.

With that said, there are therapists out there who specialize in this kind if stuff. You may need some help getting you past the initial fear. Is there a caregivers group at the hospital where he as his surgery? That might be a resource as well.

I am sending you big hugs. It's not easy going through what you have all been through! And you have been so strong! I'm so glad you shared here. Please PM if you need to! Xoxo

datagirl79 · January 2014

I agree with PP. Stop reading the stories, its just making the problem worse. I also agree that you should talk to someone, or maybe even try an anti-anxiety medication. When we first got married I had irrational fears about illnesses and death and some medication really helped me.

Hugs

vettymama · January 2014

I agree with pp's. Talk to someone and stop reading the stories. ((Hugs))

persephonerose · January 2014

It is understandable that you would have these fears. If you do not want to talk to a professional you could look for a support group in your area or online that deals with conditions like your husband has/had.

When my anxiety builds up I think of all kinds of what "ifs" so I know how hard that can be to control. It is much easier if you have people to talk to about it, even if the fears don't make sense or seem irrational. Sometimes just saying them out loud makes me realize how over the top my brain has worked itself.

Please don't feel like you are alone!

Hummingbirdbaby3 · January 2014

Thank you ladies. Means a lot

ExcitedMum2B · January 2014

It's going to feel like that for a while, but remember he made it through and you have lots to still do together as a family. I love that siggy pic of him with DS.
Find a therapist or a support group, call the hospital he had surgery at and speak to one of the social workers, they probably have a list of support groups in the area. And the hospital might even have something.
Hugs.

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