August 2012 Moms

Couple things.

stlmomma27stlmomma27 member
edited January 2014 in August 2012 Moms
I have a couple things I need to discuss with you ladies.

1. My main concern, ds hits me when he is mad, being told "no," if I'm not being fast enough getting something. He kicks me when I go to change his diaper too. He does not act this way with my dh. 

I have tried telling him "No" sternly, I've tried popping his butt or thigh, I've tried removing him from the situation. It makes me so sad when he does this to me. Any advice?

2. He is not saying "Mama," he will say "Dada" though. He doesn't go up to dh and say "dada." If I try to get ds to say mama, he will either not say anything or he will say baba. 

He's a very smart boy, but he is not talking. I've asked a couple different peds and they all say something different. One says that by 18 months they like to see at least 10 words. The one we saw the other day, said that some kids don't talk at all right now. He can sing/hum Twinkle Twinkle and the ABC's. He was saying "Please," for a while, but stopped that. 

Should I look into an ENT? Is this normal? Anyone in my situation?
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Re: Couple things.

  • DS is a hitter, too. He smacks me in the face (not DH) but throws things at both of our faces. I have done the stern no's, time outs (in a chair or his crib) but he responds more to DH. They say he doesn't do this at daycare, either. Nothing has worked for us so far, so it will be interesting to see if anyone else has a good trick.

    DS does not on his own say mama or dada but will repeat it if I ask him to. I probably would give him more time before I saw a specialist.


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  • It all sounds pretty normal to me. Every kid is different. DD1 seemed to talk early, I need to look back to see what she was saying when. DD2 isn't saying much at all. She says dada but not mama. As for the hitting just keep telling him no and he will probably grow out of it soon.
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  • We're not dealing with the hitting, but I probably wouldn't want to do anything physical back.  It just seems like touching him in a disciplinary way to teach him not to touch you in a hurtful way is contradictory.

    On the words front, I agree that I'd probably wait and reassess around 18 months rather than being concerned yet.

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  • DS is a hitter, will bite a little but it's not currently a huge problem, and is starting to pinch. :sigh:
    They can only do the whole "gentle" crap at DC. No time outs allowed. My new strategy with hitting is to ignore it if it's minor, but if he makes serious contact or hits me or the dog with a "weapon" then I hold him tight on my lap with my arms holding his arms down. I talk to him and tell him "hands are not for hitting." "We do not hit____".  It's a process.
  • When DD hits anyone we say "nice" as we direct her hand to pet instead. This started with us teaching her how to pet our dogs and now extends to us and other children because she's hit a few times. This took her several weeks to learn. I want to say that DD prefers me to anyone else, however she gives me a harder time than anyone else too. It's like she saves ALL of her tantrums for me.
  • I can relate to both points unfortunately!

    Jeffrey hits me occasionally too in similar circumstances and also seems to think it is fun to kick during diaper changes. Only with me, not DH or the babysitter. I read an article that said this was not uncommon bc babies feel safest with their moms. I don't know if that is true but it made me feel better!

    Jeffrey only says mama and dada, no other words yet. He understands alot more - he can follow instructions and knows what it means to go outside, upstairs, etc. He walks over to the fridge and points when hungry. We have our next appt next Monday - I am pretty sure we will get a referral to speech therapy bc the dr said he wanted 3 new words by that appt. We did go to an ENT last week but checked out fine.

    Good luck! I am glad it is not just me dealing with these issues!
  • I'll be honest. I'm really side eyeing you for pinching a one year old. I know his behavior is really frustrating, but pinching or popping him is a really bad strategy, IMO.

    There are some really good books out there on managing toddlers. You could try Happiest Toddler on the Block or something similar. There's probably not going to be magic solution other than time and consistency.
  • Megispreg said:

    I'll be honest. I'm really side eyeing you for pinching a one year old. I know his behavior is really frustrating, but pinching or popping him is a really bad strategy, IMO.

    There are some really good books out there on managing toddlers. You could try Happiest Toddler on the Block or something similar. There's probably not going to be magic solution other than time and consistency.

    I've only pinched him a couple times. Like I said, I'm trying different things and I'm not hurting him. He needs to know that I am not playing anymore. I want a child who knows what is okay to do and what is not okay.

    No need to go all super mom on me and act like I did something terrible to him. Everyone has their own way to find the right discipline.
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  • DS hits too, sometimes jokingly sometimes because he wants me to move... I also remind him to do nice, and show him how to pet.  If he hits to get a reaction out of me- then I do not react/acknowledge and he stops.

    DS also only says a few words- actually he probably does say around 10 but not perfectly and not consistently- but he is also spoken to in both english and portuguese (which I heard delays some toddlers).  Im honestly not worried yet, closer to 2 I think I will start worrying, and/or when my pediatrician is concerned.  
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  • I get it with hitting/ kicking, I have been dealing with it too. But seriously? pinching a baby? No. I have never heard of that as a punishment. Best thing that has worked for us with diaper changes is distraction. I put a video on my phone and hand it over. Say what you want about screentime, but that works. Hitting has been getting ahold of his hands, lowering them, and a stern "no, if you do that again you will go onto the floor" and following through if he hits again. At this age it is going to take a while for them to figure things out. They are testing boundaries. They are learning A LOT really fast and consistency is key. It will get better.

    A still says zero words. zilch. nada. I am not letting myself get worked up over it. Re-assessing at 18 months is a good plan. We have talked about it and if he still has no words by 18 months we will have him screened by EI SLP. My pedi and most of what I have been able to discern says 3 words at 18 months, but keep in mind to be listening to babbling for words you may not realize he is using in context. 

    Keep in mind with all of it that repetition is huge with kids this age. Whether it be being consistent with how you handle hitting or repeating words, pointing out objects and naming them over and over, etc. 
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