WWYD: Church childcare

austenfan919 · January 2014

I go to a Bible study on Tuesday morning that has child care for DS. Last school year, and this fall, there has been an adult and a young girl (she's 12 now) to care for the few children there. But the Bible study leader asked me today if I was comfortable with just the 12 year old watching the kids this semester since there will only be 2 kids and she has had trouble finding an adult to help.

My first reaction was that I'm not very comfortable with it. I wouldn't leave my kids alone at home with the 12 year old just because she is young. And it bothers me a little to just have one person with the kids. On Sunday mornings, the children's ministry at church has a policy that no one can be alone with a child. (Also, no one under 14 can hold a baby on Sunday mornings.)

But maybe I am being ridiculous, since I will be down the hall the whole time. And it sounds like the mom of the other child was OK with it, so me objecting means I make more work for the Bible study leader to find another child care helper. Or that I find my own child care, which wouldn't be easy either.

So what do you think? Would you leave your LO with a 12 year old and one other toddler while you did Bible study down the hall?

PaisleyRuth · January 2014

If the 12 year old is responsible & good with kids I would. It's just 2 kids, and like you said, you're right there. It's different than leaving them at your house alone.

exc1tedforbaby1 · January 2014

I'm thinking she has the experience with the kids because she has been there. And if I'd be right down the hall I would do it. I would totally hire A 12 year old to help me around my house as a mothers helper. It's kind of the same thing.

Jeffreysmom24 · January 2014

I wouldn't be comfortable with it but I am overly cautious about this kind of thing. I just think at 12 years old, she doesn't have the judgment to watch 2 by herself even if you are down the hall. But like I said, I know I am paranoid!

austenfan919 · January 2014

Thanks, ladies. I think part of what bothers me is that there isn't a consistent church-wide policy. What they allow at Bible study child care should be the same as what they allow for the Sunday morning nursery. And they wouldn't allow a 12 year old alone with kids on Sundays. But I can't change that, so I guess I have to decide just based on whether I think DS will be OK in her care.

twinkletoes3126 · January 2014

I would not leave my son alone with a 12 year old. However I hardly ever leave my son at all and I am pretty paranoid about leaving him.

ccam · January 2014

I might be ok with it if I knew the 12 year old and would be down the hall from them, but I know DH wouldn't be, so that would be a no for us.

cedenton · January 2014

No, I think 12 is too young. I'm sure she's fine on an everyday basis, but I'd be worried about how she'd handle an emergency. And, generally, I'm pretty laid back.

brandyleighxx · January 2014

How long are you in bible study? If it's a minimal amount of time and you're literally a few doors down while the 2 kids are contained in a room set up for toddlers, I'd be ok with it.

austenfan919 · January 2014

Thanks, everyone. The Bible study leader got in touch today and said she had realized the more she thought about it that leaving the 12 year old with the kids was not a good solution. She also didn't think the children's ministry director of the church (who presumably knows the policies and liabilities better) would approve. So it sounds like she will be looking for another adult to help.

@brandyleighxx, Bible study is 2 hours long. So not all day, but super short either.

austenfan919 · January 2014

annieluvsjordan said:

I understand where the bible study leader is coming from and sympathize for the situation. However, I would think having only a 12 year old in charge would be more of a liability for the church than the hassle of finding another adult. I am not sure how churches work with policies and liabilities for childcare since it is all volunteer, but I am sure there are certain rules and mandates since it is on church property. I would be fine leaving my almost 4 year old with a 12 year old that he knows in that setting, but he can communicate with her (and me afterward). I don't think I would be OK leaving my 18 month old, nor would my church be OK with the situation.

Just my thoughts.

it's a moot point now, but I agree with you on it being a liability for the church, too.

I have volunteered in the children's ministry here and used to work in child care at the Y, so I know that the two adults with the kids rule is there to protect everyone. It protects the kids from harm, protects the adults from false accusations and protects the organization from being involved in scandal. So that was a worry for me to, beyond just if my own kid would be OK. I would hate for the church to have problems down the line.

I know the policies for our children's ministry, but I have no idea if there are legal requirements for the child care there. I know the rules are different in my state if the parents are in the building (like church or the Y) than if parents are away (day care).

SJandVA · January 2014

Im on the fence with this one. My gut is that I would be ok with it. On one hand its for a short time and you are right down the hall.
I know I was watching neighborhood kids by myself when I was 12 after taking child care and CPR classes.
On the other hand all the PP are correct for the reasons not to do it.
I know a lot of churches these days are making people take a class to be able to volunteer with children. Just for the molestation reason. I had to just to volunteer at my daughters Catholic school.
If you are ok with it, maybe you could allow the 12 year old to watch for a couple weeks while the church finds another adult.

austenfan919 · January 2014

SJandVA said:

Im on the fence with this one. My gut is that I would be ok with it. On one hand its for a short time and you are right down the hall. I know I was watching neighborhood kids by myself when I was 12 after taking child care and CPR classes. On the other hand all the PP are correct for the reasons not to do it. I know a lot of churches these days are making people take a class to be able to volunteer with children. Just for the molestation reason. I had to just to volunteer at my daughters Catholic school. If you are ok with it, maybe you could allow the 12 year old to watch for a couple weeks while the church finds another adult.

I know I started babysitting at 12, too. But 12 looks a lot younger once you are a mom!

SJandVA · January 2014

austenfan919 said:

SJandVA said:

Im on the fence with this one. My gut is that I would be ok with it. On one hand its for a short time and you are right down the hall.
I know I was watching neighborhood kids by myself when I was 12 after taking child care and CPR classes.
On the other hand all the PP are correct for the reasons not to do it.
I know a lot of churches these days are making people take a class to be able to volunteer with children. Just for the molestation reason. I had to just to volunteer at my daughters Catholic school.
If you are ok with it, maybe you could allow the 12 year old to watch for a couple weeks while the church finds another adult.

I know I started babysitting at 12, too. But 12 looks a lot younger once you are a mom!

So very true!!

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