Running out of room!! What do we do? — The Bump
Blended Families

Running out of room!! What do we do?

Here goes nothing. My boyfriend has 4 daughters and we are expecting another...girl... In June. This is my first. We currently live in a beautiful 3 bed 3 bath 1300 sq ft apartment. Large rooms. Open concept. It's perfect. Right now the 2 younger girls 5 & 10 share their zebra inspired room and the 2 older ones share their peace room 14 & 13. The 5 year old is with us 50-60% of the time, every Wednesday Thursday and eow. 10 year old is here eow and 50% of summer. The older two are supposed to be here 50% summer and EOW however we are flexible as they are teenagers and friend time is important at this age too. We know that. So it's like 1 weekend a month and mix for summer.

We are having problems finding a 4 bedroom in our budget. Either way too $ or its way crapy bad location of town or smaller then what we have now.

So would it be bad if we share a room with the baby until she is 6-8 months then move her into the big girls lil room and move all of his girls into our bigger room and take the other med room.

They sleep in the same room 1/2 the time anyways. I don't know what to do. I can't find anything livable.

Re: Running out of room!! What do we do?

  • I would consider:

    Having three girls (either the teens and the 10 year old, or the 10yo, 5yo, and baby) in the larger room, two in the smaller room (if that is the teens, keep them where they are, or else put the baby and 5 yo in there), and you/DH in the medium room.  If the small room is really small and the teens are only there 1x per week anyway, maybe they can keep that room.

    Unless she is waking everyone up, I don't think it's good for the baby to have her own room and everyone else share.  I think you will make her too "different."

    I don't think the baby sleeping in your room for a few months is a bad idea.  My kids slept in my room for around 4 mos.

    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
  • In our house space will be divided up based on who spends the most time here. Right now we live in a 4 bedroom home with SD and DS each in their own really big room while the baby has the smallest room downstairs. If we decide to stay here, SD will get the choice to either share the big room with DD or take the smaller room to herself. SD is only here 50 percent of the time while DD is here 100 percent of the time. Maybe that is not fair but life in a blended family is never entirely fair to anyone.
    No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.

  • I would keep LO in your room as long as possible to allow for the transition. But when it is appropriate, I would move 10yo in with older two girls and have the youngest two share.
  • We kept DD in our room until she was a year old.  If the crib fits in your room now, it will still fit when she is that old/big.  

  • Would a basement bedroom for the older two be possible? Or an attic space?
  • Its an apartment Mary. I think your arrangement is fine. Long term too. I dont know why people get nervous about bunking multiple kids in a bedroom. Especially when they arent there full time. I think it builds their relationship.
    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
  • Sounds fine to me. I know plenty of people who kept the baby in their bedroom until they slept well enough at night to not wake the older kid(s). I wouldn't have a problem with the baby being in my room for the first year easily, possibly beyond if needed. Of course all of mine slept in my room for the first few months even though they had their own rooms. It's just convenient!
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    [Deleted User]
  • My only concern would be to check the laws in your state. Some only allow 2 people per bedroom in apartments or sometimes just renters in general.

    However, if you're in the clear in that regard, then I would think either of the solutions you are proposing would work. Also, I would be on the constant look out (maybe craigslist?) for a house or condo to rent for a good deal. Just look first thing in the morning and browse through the new postings quickly, and then contact the landlord for a walk-through if it looks like the place will meet your needs. It may take months but if it results in you finding a better place within your budget, then it's worth it, ykwim?
  • Thanks everyone!!
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