How to Help Grieving Family Member?

eyris · January 2014

Early Sunday morning my Aunt passed away unexpectedly at only 50 years old.

I am pretty close with her daughter, my cousin, who is my age (29), she is married with two little girls.

I know she's having a really hard time, as is expected, and I want to help her. I've already volunteered to help with funeral arrangements, but her step-dad (Aunt's husband) is kind of freaking out and dragging his feet and making it hard to do anything (she didn't have life insurance and he's now trying to raise money for some kind of lavish funeral).

Anyway, I want to bring her some food and things so she doesn't have to do a lot of running around this week. I don't have time to cook but was thinking I could just bring some groceries, like fruits and snacks for her and the kids. Any recommendations? Especially stuff that's good for kids (they're 5 and 1). I'm also thinking a couple bottles of wine, or maybe one of those boxes of wine from Target that are pretty good.

kennazebrowsky · January 2014

I think that is a really nice idea.

Things that would be easy- maybe sandwich food, Store cooked meals that just need reheating - like rotisserie chicken.

eyris · January 2014

kennazebrowsky said:

I think that is a really nice idea. Things that would be easy- maybe sandwich food, Store cooked meals that just need reheating - like rotisserie chicken.

This is a good idea - maybe I could get a tray of cold cuts and cheeses for easy sandwiches?

Thanks for the suggestion!

eyris · January 2014

junewife said:

First, so sorry for your loss. You're thoughtful to think of how you could help. Groceries are good. I'd also bring things that other well-wishers may forget, such as toilet paper and paper towels. Maybe offer to babysit her kids so that she can get some things done or just have time alone to grieve?

I did offer to babysit, but I think her in-laws are on top of it for the most part. Good call on toiletries, that's easy bc I buy mine at Costco so I already have ton of that stuff on hand as well.

DaisyZH · January 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss! I agree with sandwich fixings, maybe tissues, hand soap, paper towels, etc. How awful, thoughts and prayers for her and your family.

miamiumeg · January 2014

So sorry for your loss. Perhaps get ingredients to make a simple slow cooker meal? For example, get frozen meatballs, good marinara sauce, dry spaghetti, and frozen garlic bread. That way they can just throw the meatballs and sauce in a slow cooker and have a decent dinner without much work.

ajbook · January 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. My family recently went through a similar experience with my aunt. One thing my mom did that was very helpful was being at the house win my uncle and cousins (26 & 22) the day of the viewing and funeral. They were all in a daze and she was able to keep a schedule for them, make sure they ate, and help prepare things. She also returned in the weeks following the funeral to help write thank you notes and clean out some of her belongings.

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