Was reading another thread and thought....

jodyen · January 2014

So I was going thru some threads and read about the lady that was trying to be nice and throw her "friend" a baby shower....it was her second child and alot of ppl reacted that she should not be able to have one because it is her second, I don't know if it is becasue they are so close in age or just in general so my question is that I have a first born and she is going to be 13 on Valentine's day my Lo that is due is due March 2nd so I have no baby stuff at all...none...well except for some outfits and little things I have bought for her the past month, I really would like a baby shower(I didn't get one with my first one, well not a real one anyways) so is it tacky for me to have one or just bad taste?

Kayladesira3 · January 2014

There's no rule for how many showers you have! You could have six kids & have a shower for every single one of them! To each their own!:)

jodyen · January 2014

Hmmm ok, but my MIL is already wanting to throw me a baby shower and is starting to plan it which I am super happy for, it's my DH first child

but my family on the other hand said I should just decline and not show up cause it's tacky. I didn't ask for a shower but was offer but like I said my family says I should of kept all of my daughter stuff and I didn't deserve another one...I just wanted to know what others thoughts.

MoxyByProxy · January 2014

If someone is offering.. I dont see a problem with it. I think the pp was saying basically that its tacky for you to do it on your own. 13 years is a big gap and im in the same boat but did not have a shower. Partly due to spread out family and mainly because I was the one saying no thanks. We (my mom and sister mainly)have discussed a sip and see which I go back and forth on because its germ season and baby is due feb 1st.

If your friends/fam arnt bothered by it.. carry on and shower away.

rainydayluck · January 2014

Don't throw your own; if someone is offering, it's up to you if you want to accept.
If people think it's tacky and are invited, they probably won't come. If I was invited to a second shower and I thought it was gift grabby (which if the kids are close in age I would think it was tacky), I would just decline.

magentawarped · January 2014

I wouldn't side eye a second shower when there's a 13 year gap. I wouldn't necessarily get as awesome of a gift for you as I would for a first-time mom though. Expect a lot of clothes.

magentawarped · January 2014

Kayladesira3 said:
There's no rule for how many showers you have! You could have six kids & have a shower for every single one of them! To each their own!:)

Um, no. People don't want to keep buying you crap just because you keep getting knocked up. Sorry.

rainydayluck · January 2014

Kayladesira3 said:

There's no rule for how many showers you have! You could have six kids & have a shower for every single one of them! To each their own!:)

Did you join just to comment on this thread?

Paradisemoon · January 2014

jodyen said:

Hmmm ok, but my MIL is already wanting to throw me a baby shower and is starting to plan it which I am super happy for, it's my DH first child but my family on the other hand said I should just decline and not show up cause it's tacky. I didn't ask for a shower but was offer but like I said my family says I should of kept all of my daughter stuff and I didn't deserve another one...I just wanted to know what others thoughts.

Baby showers are for first time mothers to be welcomed into mother-hood. If your MIL wants to plan and throw a shower for you and it is your DH's first child then the guest list should be kept to JUST your DH's family.

Disneygeek77 · January 2014

Since this is your husband's first, I personally think it is ok. Just don't invite your family.

Giraffealaff · January 2014

If someone wanted to gift you a shower, I certainly wouldn't refuse it. I wouldn't rely on the shower to get you all the things you will be needing for your LO, however.

As far as your family, if they think it's tacky that your In-laws are throwing you a shower, then that's good for them but should have no effect on you. Granted this is not your first child, but I certainly don't expect you to hold on to all of your old baby stuff after 13 years. Accepting a gift given by your in-laws is not tacky. Attending and relying on them to procure all your necessities for LO is.

laurakaz13 · January 2014

Disneygeek77 said:

Since this is your husband's first, I personally think it is ok. Just don't invite your family.

This.

erind0213 · January 2014

I think its up to you. I don't think its acceptable to throw your own, but you know your circle better then any of us do so that is your call.

My mom had a 2nd shower when I was born because I came about 12 years after my closest sibling and the results of a 2nd marriage. My sisters and a close neighbor friend of my mom hosted.

Anyway, I don't think its appropriate to say you want one because you have nothing, as anyone who is expecting should not automatically assume somebody is going to throw them a shower, but should plan for costs and needs early on in the pregnancy. You can certainly put the bug in soembody's ear, or talk it over with family and see what can be worked out but be prepared for a variety of responses/reactions.

I am expecting # 2 and people have pushed a bit for me to have a shower/sprinkle because I was having a boy this time vs. a girl. My daughter just turned 3, and with the nursery and all the big items I went gender neutral, then when finding out this time what I was having I started picking up clothes and so forth on clearance and putting stuff away. To the point that when it was suggested to have a sprinkle I suggested folks do diapers and wipes as they will be useful.

jodyen · January 2014

My MIL offer to throw the baby shower, I didn't ask for it but I also not going to decline. This is my husband first natural child(He is my daughter dad but not by blood, but still is dad) and this is for more of him them for me in a way. When I went to go regerster with stores and what not I didn't ask for any big items but my MIL and FIL insited we did because they want to get and help us with that stuff and so does alot of his family. Alot of his family didn't think he would be able to settle down and have a baby of his own because of the work he was doing and what not. So they are very happy about this baby. My in law family said they are treating it just like it was a first born but of course they are not forgetting our 12 year old. My family on the other hand thinks that I don't deserve another one and I am forcing my in laws to throw this party. And trust me you don't make my In laws do nothing they don't want to. I was just wondering and very confused and conflicted from both sides of the family.

desertmouse39 · January 2014

My babies will only be 22 months apart - DD is 19 months now and DD#2 should be here at the end of March - and I am not planning on a 2nd shower. We don't live near family and the girlfriends I have here suggested a spa day as a way to get together before my due date. If the kids were 13 years apart, I would think differently.

My coworkers were talking about a shower and I suggested if they really wanted to do something, maybe we just keep it to diapers and lunch. That seems practical! We will likely have a "Meet the Baby" party a few weeks after her arrival, and I suspect people may bring small gifts but I'm not registering for or expecting anything.

jgreig83 · January 2014

If people want to come and buy something for the baby why not. And if your MIL is throwing it then sure. Your DH doesn't have another child, and no one expects you to save up baby clothes for 13 years!!! I do think that it is to each their own!

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