Special Needs

Missing NY boy update - it's not good

Not sure how many of you have followed this story or even know about it - the missing 14 yr old boy in NY.  Autistic, non-verbal, known for running away.

Well after 14-15 weeks, a girl found human remains washed up in College Point.  DNA results, today, confirmed it's him.  


When I heard of the remains, I prayed so hard that it wasn't him because as a mom of an autistic semi non-verbal 'runner' this is the stuff of my worst nightmares.  And for one mom it's the nightmare come true.  

So upset right now.  So scared.  I know I can't protect him 24/7 and the day is going to come when I'm going to have to put my fear aside and let him try to gain some independence but something like this makes me want to keep him under lock and key forever.  


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Re: Missing NY boy update - it's not good

  • I just saw the news =(
    I'm confused about the whole..body parts..how is it that he isn't whole?  It doesn't go along with him just falling in the water/drowning, and the parents said he was afraid of water.
    But, that's the gruesome part that i'm confused about.
    DD1(4):VSD & PFO (Closed!), Prenatal stroke, Mild CP, Delayed pyloric opening/reflux, Brachycephaly & Plagiocephaly, Sacral lipoma, Tethered spinal cord, Compound heterozygous MTHFR, Neurogenic bladder, Urinary retention & dyssynergia, incomplete emptying, enlarged Bladder with Poor Muscle Tone, EDS-Type 3. Mito-Disorder has been mentioned

    DD2(2.5): Late term premie due to PTL, low fluid & IUGR, Reflux, delayed visual maturation, compound heteroygous MTHFR, PFAPA, Bilateral kidney reflux, Transient hypogammaglobulinemia, EDS-Type 3


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  • Yeah that is the big question and the main reason I prayed it wasn't him.  I said to DH that I would lose my mind wondering how he got into that state and wondering if he suffered.  I can only pray that he came to be in that state after the fact.  

    The thing that angered me about the news was the sharing of the gruesome discoveries.  They could've left it at remains but instead went all out with detailing just what was found.  No need for that IMHO.  

    Just so sad.
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  • I'm heartbroken for this family. So sad.
  • At least they have some closure, but I would rather assume my child was off living with benevolent homeless than be dead.

    My guess is he got into the storm water management tunnels. Time and the elements will do the rest.
    WAY 2 Cool 4 School


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  • I saw that. What a tragic ending for the family. 
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    DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010
  • I have prayed for his mother every night. Poor, sweet boy. Worst nightmare. I pray that she is able to find some peace. I hope the city of New York is ready to write her a big fat check. She trusted her son would be kept safe and sound at school. They failed her and Avonte.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • -auntie- said:
    27 Jan 2014

    The Philadelphia Inquirer South Jersey edition
    — AP

    *A bid to aid families affected by autism*
    The federal government would pay for GPS tracking devices for autistic
    children under legislation proposed Sunday by Sen. Charles E. Schumer (D.,
    N.Y.).

    “Avonte’s Law” is named for Avonte Oquendo, 14, of New York City, who
    wandered away from his school in October and was found dead in a river this
    month. It would provide $10 million to pay for the high-tech device that
    could be worn on the wrist, kept in a wallet, or sewn into clothing.

    “We can’t change the past, but we can … put in place programs that will
    ensure that no parent and no child has to go through a similar nightmare,”
    Schumer said at a news conference, joined by Avonte’s mother, Vanessa
    Fontaine, and grandmother Doris McCoy.

    About half of autistic children are prone to wandering, according to
    research published in 2012 in the journal Pediatrics.

    Is it just me, or does the notion of keeping a device in a wallet or piece of clothing suggest that Schumer means well but if freaking clueless. Because, you know, autistic children always grab their wallet and car keys when they elope. We chip our pets.
    Oh Chuck.  It doesn't surprise me that something like this is emerging and to be quite frank - and I know I'm in the minority, but I'm not against chipping kids/adults.  If that meant I could find Chris if he ever wandered off, then yeah, I'm ok with it.  I know people rebel against the notion of being chipped and the government and all that but I see it in light of my specific circumstances and I'm ok with it.  

    And yes, my dog is chipped.  When I got her chipped I remember saying - why can't we do this for people too?  
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  • It's just awful.  I also have a wanderer and I worry about her at school every single day.
    Mom to Abigail & Liliana -- Identical Twin Girls -- April 2008
    Baby #3 due September 12, 2014!

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • When I lived in WV the 911 service provided bracelets for a coworkers husband who had Alzheimer's he got out a couple of times and was lost while she was working. His caregiver was in the bathroom, etc. He was always found so quickly. The bracelet was not removable from what I remember.
    DD1(4):VSD & PFO (Closed!), Prenatal stroke, Mild CP, Delayed pyloric opening/reflux, Brachycephaly & Plagiocephaly, Sacral lipoma, Tethered spinal cord, Compound heterozygous MTHFR, Neurogenic bladder, Urinary retention & dyssynergia, incomplete emptying, enlarged Bladder with Poor Muscle Tone, EDS-Type 3. Mito-Disorder has been mentioned

    DD2(2.5): Late term premie due to PTL, low fluid & IUGR, Reflux, delayed visual maturation, compound heteroygous MTHFR, PFAPA, Bilateral kidney reflux, Transient hypogammaglobulinemia, EDS-Type 3


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