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Has anyone read bringing up bebe? tl; dr

SpeshulSpeshul member
in August 2013 Moms
Has anyone read the book bringing up bebe?

I just ordered it because it struck a chord with me. Not because of the references to kid behavior but rather to mom behavior. It's about a woman who found herself raising children in France. I've traveled a lot to Poland and have seen a difference in moms as well. While they sacrifice a lot for their children they still see taking care of themselves as a necessity. Also when everyone was arguing about solids at 4 months I just started looking for things in polish and noticed a lot less mommy wars about food in general. I could actually find what I was looking for.

Generally I never thought the mom had to do it all...or suffer a certain amount to be a good mom. I think that's a new thing anyway. I was raised by "the village".

Sometimes locally I feel as though moms are competing by seeing who can sacrifice more than the other. And I see a lot of guilting other moms of being selfish. IRL this happens often when a woman purchases something for herself or gets a massage or something. They usually say "Oh it must be nice to blablabla" Online everything is a controversy but I guess it's the interwebs. God forbid if anyone hires a nanny!

This new year so far I have successfully let go of mom guilt and mommy martyrdom (that's my nickname for it). I feel as though focusing on the happiness of the entire family unit has made a big difference in our lives and in me as a mother.

I just felt like rambling. Sorry for the brain dump...I'm processing things.


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Re: Has anyone read bringing up bebe? tl; dr

  • EricaLee2013EricaLee2013 member
    A friend bought it for me, I started reading it but it never grabbed my attention. Plus I had a baby somewhere in the beginning and have not picked up a single book since!
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  • SpeshulSpeshul member
    @ericalee2013 lol...hmm maybe I should have looked for an audiobook


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  • EricaLee2013EricaLee2013 member
    Audio would probably stand a chance! ;)
    Honestly, I know of so many people that watch whole TV series while home on mat leave but I don't know how they do it. I hardly have the TV on let alone read books. I have two books in the Game of Thrones series that I'm dying to read but I just can't find the effort/time necessary!
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  • MagPie 1986MagPie 1986 member
    I read it before I was PG and liked it!  The part that especially hit home for me was just that you can have a life having kids.  It seems that so many women become martyrs for their kids and give up everything (like a PP mentioned) and this book was really good about showing you how to still go to dinner and enjoy hobbies at home with calm, well-mannered kids. 

    I also really liked the message that in order to get your kids to respect you when you say 'no,' you have to say 'yes.'  Give them some leeway every now and then and when you set the limit, they're more likely to listen to you.

    There were some parts I didn't like though.  The societal pressure to get your kid to STTN by 2-3 mos is crazy.  The L&D part was crazy to me, too.
     
             Baby C - 08.23.13
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  • Carnation77Carnation77 member
    I read it, and I liked some of the ideas in it, but now that baby has arrived I don't think I can actually implement some of them because they seem to go against ever instinct I have.  

    I liked the message that you're still you after a kid, that you should make decisions not just based on what's best for the kid but also based on what's best for the mom/couple/family.The idea of introducing so many different foods really struck home for me; it's definitely something I plan on doing.  I also liked the message of teaching patience in children, and using cooking to teach basic math and to bond.

    What I didn't like was putting baby on a strict schedule and the emphasis on STTN.  We also really have trouble NOT making our son the center of our world.  We're just so enamored with him that we really haven't been able to reach the kind of balance that's emphasized in the book.

    It was a good read but like everything else about babies - some of it will work for some people, some of it won't.
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  • ELauren88ELauren88 member
    I've never heard of it, and didn't read it (obvi). But, I would like to comment on the whole "sacrificing too much" stance people seem to have.
    I don't know who you're hanging out with, but over here, I don't play that. I have 2 sets of parents and a set of IL's who love my baby to death. I utilize that. I have a wonderful husband who pulls his fair share. 
    Judge away if you think I'm not "doing enough" because my hair has highlights, my nails are done, and I'm not constantly tired. I like to think my LO is happier because I AM taking care of myself. Plus, it's doing nothing but helping her have a stronger bond with family and her daddy.
    All this, and I'm from the middle of the US.
     
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  • SpeshulSpeshul member
    @ELauren88  I found new friends. These were the same people that were like "Just wait until you have kids...you won't be able to blablabla."


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