Kissing the hands - for or against it?

jbean1325 · January 2014

Hi all. I'm bored so I thought I'd ask your thoughts on something I apparently missed this morning when I dropped LO off at daycare. Another mom yelled at one of the DCPs this morning because she kissed the baby's hands (her baby is about 7-8 months old). This mother doesn't want that to happen and was apparently very upset that it did. All the older kids call the DCP "Mema" because she's like a grandmother to all of them (she's around 55 years old). As I was leaving, I noticed Mema was very upset. Like I said, I missed it. I was taking pictures of my LO as he played in the exersaucer. I feel like I'm partial because the owner of the DC is a very good and longtime friend and Mema is the owner's mother. So I say let them kiss away! I did notice Mema had a cold or something a couple weeks ago, and she was not lavishing attention on my LO (which is good, because I'm a germaphobe).

I guess I'm kind of shocked the mother would get so upset about it. And apparently, Mema is very upset. She thinks of all the kids as hers (she was very upset when I went down to part-time because she missed my LO). I know I'm very against strangers touching my LO, let alone kissing them, but I feel this environment is different. What do you guys think? Kiss or no kiss?

Rowcate · January 2014

I personally wouldn't mind. I like my children to be left with someone who loves them like their own instead of seeing them as just a "job". That being said, I can see others being bothered by it especially if they do not feel any relationship to the DCP themselves.

Soleil3 · January 2014

Id probably be against it. Just because his hands were probably in his mouth and hes probably not the only hands shes kissed so shes virtually swapping saliva germs between all the kids.

It is sweet that she loves them, and a kiss on the top of the head is no big deal, but the hands, ick.

BellaOso · January 2014

I think raising a child with affection is always a good idea - especially from someone who provides daily care. That said, my child is not in day care so the people she interacts with are mostly friends and family at this point, so maybe I would feel differently is she was in DC? But I doubt it.

I have found when people throw fits about stuff like this, they were usually mad at someone else about something else, but couldn't yell at that person so they yelled at someone who couldn't fight back.

Random Thought: Don't you wonder if somewhere on another BMB some group of women is patting another bumpie on the back for yelling at their DCP for hand kissing?

TrueBeliever925 · January 2014

I agree with PP. I'd prefer a loving caretaker.. however, especially since it is cold season, I'd be a little concerned with someone I didn't have as good of a relationship with (that lady and Mema) kissing my babies hands and then the baby putting their hands in mouth. I don't know. I wouldn't freak out though. I can see how Mema would be upset, if she especially loves all the children. Bummer situation, but as a parent, I can see both sides.

Soleil3 · January 2014

And really, you cant claim germaphobe if you are ok with such germ transmittal. Even if she doesn't currently look sick, doesn't mean shes not carrying.

jbean1325 · January 2014

BellaOso said:

I think raising a child with affection is always a good idea - especially from someone who provides daily care. That said, my child is not in day care so the people she interacts with are mostly friends and family at this point, so maybe I would feel differently is she was in DC? But I doubt it.

I have found when people throw fits about stuff like this, they were usually mad at someone else about something else, but couldn't yell at that person so they yelled at someone who couldn't fight back.

Random Thought: Don't you wonder if somewhere on another BMB some group of women is patting another bumpie on the back for yelling at their DCP for hand kissing?

I bet you are right!! haha

Thanks for the input ladies. I was just curious because Mema is close to us. I don't know how I would be if the situation was different.

ELauren88 · January 2014

Eh. I think it would bother me. When I hand LO over to anybody, I say "stay away from the hands and face". I say it to literally everyone, so everyone knows not to. However, if MIL or my mom, or even SIL are playing with her, and have her hand and kiss it, I'm not going to freak on them. But daycare? I'd probably say something. Don't think I'd yell at an old lady though..that's just mean.

BlondieBia21 · January 2014

I wouldn't like it.

cinderin · January 2014

I like it that our dcp likes DS enough to kiss him. Babies enjoy love and kisses. As for germs - eh, he is a kid, it's part of the deal. He would lick the floor if given the opportunity.

magdalina.h · January 2014

It wouldn't bother me, but I wouldn't judge a mom who doesn't want it.

Revez · January 2014

I honestly don't know. It bothers me when people touch her hands because they go straight into her mouth afterwards. Although I'd love to know a DCP is providing a loving environment, I don't think I'd be all that happy about hand kisses. That being said, I definitely wouldn't lose my mind and yell at an old lady.

Snowbird7 · January 2014

I might be a little icked out by it just because LO is always chewing on his hands, but I would definitely appreciate her showing him affection and would probably let it go. But there was no reason for Mema to be yelled at or shamed in front of everyone. If the mom had a problem with it, she should have taken Mema aside to gently make her request known.

CourtJack · January 2014

It wouldn't bother me. But even if it did-I wouldn't be a jerk about it and bring it up in that manner. That's rude and unnecessary.

amandarins · January 2014

I wouldn't want it at this age during flu season, but I would never yell or be mean to get my point across

rh10264706 · January 2014

I don't like when anyone kisses his hands. I don't even kiss his hands bc they go straight in his mouth. But I would never say anything to a little old lady.

BelhurstBride · January 2014

Meh. I don't think it's something I have much of an opinion over, but even if I decided I was against it I don't see it being worthy of yelling over.

Maybe mom had a bad day and was projecting?

kkay1982 · January 2014

I wouldn't have an issue with it. LO stays home with DH, but if he were in a DC I am guessing all the germs from all the kids and DCP would reach him at some point. Mema was showing affection which is great for kids. In all likelyhood at some point another kid will sneeze on LO, or take his pacifier, or lick his face (I've worked in a DC and trust me there are those kids) so if he is going to be exposed to all those germs a loving kiss on the hand should be ok. I want my LO to be healthy but he also can't live in a bubble.

Slpafford · January 2014

I think I would have mixed feelings about it. I know they are doing it out of love but I still think it is weird to kiss a baby that is not yours/related to you.

PB102012 · January 2014

I am not sure that I would be so crazy about this..... I am ok with hugs, etc. but I think the kissing is a bit much for someone who is not a super close friend or family member.

MommyKristin88 · January 2014

I wouldn't like it. I don't even kiss his hands, since they're constantly in his mouth.

CourtJack · January 2014

MommyKristin88 said:
I wouldn't like it. I don't even kiss his hands, since they're constantly in his mouth.

Man, Piper shoves her fingers in my mouth any chance she gets. She also likes to suck my nose and lips....and she does this to her big brother also. We're a hot mess of germ-sharing over here!!

MagPie 1986 · January 2014

If mema is that germy, the kids are going to be exposed anyways. I would rather my kid be in a loving, warm environment with hand kisses than a sterile but germ-free environment. LOs in daycare get sick, you gotta get over it ::shrugs::

Carnation77 · January 2014

I just assume everyone at DS's daycare (including his provider) are all going to end up with the same germs. It's much easier than fighting the inevitable.

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