New To This Board-Lost 17 month old son

BeagleMom2012 · January 2014

I'm incredibly nervous to post on this board. I apologize if I break any of the rules. My husband and I lost our son suddenly on Jan 7. I feel like in just two weeks, I've gone through so many emotions. Anger, disbelief, extreme sadness. There have been days where I actually felt ok, and other days have been horrible. Some days I feel like I've come to terms with things and am ready to move on, and then an hour later I'm a crying mess. I guess all this is normal? I was supposed to go back to work today. I got ready and my husband and I left the house at the same time, and then I turned as if I was driving my son to daycare. I realized what I was doing but kept driving. The daycare was closed, so I pulled in the parking lot and sat there and bawled. And now I'm back in my too-quiet house not knowing what in the world I'm supposed to do with myself. Has anyone on here ever dealt with the loss of a toddler? So many posts seem to be about miscarriages or the loss of infants not long after their birth. If anyone has ever dealt with the loss of a toddler, I would love to hear from you. I begin group counseling on Thursday, but the thought of talking to people in person kind of scares me. I thought I might also find some support on here as well. Thanks.

Bayberry12 · January 2014

Oh I am just so sorry for the loss of your son and for the pain you and your family is suffering. While my loss was different; my daughter was stillborn at 39 week, I do understand the roller coaster of emotions you described. Your life is forever changed, and learning how to live with a piece of your family and your heart missing is a life long process.

I think group counseling or a support group is a great resource. As long as you can relate to the other families there. It does help to connect with others who have gone through or are going through a similar loss and to know that you are not alone.

Please know we are all here for you, and we would love to hear about your son, as much or as little as you fell comfortable sharing. It seems many of the women on here have had a late pregnancy loss, but I do know that there are a few who have lost a toddler and I hope they can step in and offer some words of support.

Xath · January 2014

*siggy warning*

I'm very sorry for the loss of your son. While my daughter was much younger when we lost her, I have 3 sets of friends who lost their children between 17 months and 3 years.

I agree with the PP that finding therapy or a support group can be helpful, especially in coming to terms not only with your child's passing, but the loss of your former self. We've all had to (or are in the process of) come to terms with the fact that we are different now than we were, and we have to discover who these new people are.

Don't feel like you need to be in a hurry to get things done. This time needs to be about you and your family.

I hope you find love and support here. Please let us know if there is anything you need.

Noethola · January 2014

***Siggy warning***

I want to second Bayberry. I am so very very sorry for the loss of your son. It is a traumatic and tragic loss to you and your family.

Group counseling sounds like a good idea. There may be all levels of grief, but each one has lost a huge part of their world.

I just wanted to offer support. I am so very sorry. Hopefully the other ladies will chime in and you are able to make a connection.

stefuge · January 2014

I am so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here. We are here whenever you need us.

mingaling2 · January 2014

My heart is breaking for you. I am so very sorry.

jonahsma · January 2014

My condolences to you and dh during this difficult time. Allow yourself to grieve, everything you are feeling is completely
normal. The ladies on this board are a great support system, they have helped me a great deal. Praying for you and dh ((hugs))

cawettig · January 2014

I am so sorry for the loss of your son. No one should go threw the pain your are experiencing now. Big hugs

schulme2 · January 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. Although our situations are all different, we have all dealt with the rollercoaster of emotions and can be a listening ear or virtual shoulder to cry on. We are all here for you and I pray for healing for you and your family.

MCH77 · January 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish I the had answers for you. ((Hugs))

Poisonives · January 2014

Im very sorry for your loss. Mt prayers are with you and your family

shandorfml2 · January 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. There are mamas on this board who lost an older child. Sending you so many hugs...what you are experiencing is normal

Heatherhah · January 2014

I am so so sorry for the loss of your precious son.We are all here for you if and when you need us.

neptunebljc · January 2014

I am sorry for your loss. That must be very difficult. Hopefully we can provide some support.

Petunia844 · January 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss, there is an amazing member of this board who doesn't post too much but lost an older child, I will try and track her down and see if she can reach out to you.

BrittianyM · January 2014

I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet son. We lost our daughter at 3 months old to SIDS but I have had the same emotional rollacoster. We are all here for you when ever you need us. Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

VyD81 · January 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. Hugs.

OSUWifey09 · January 2014

***SIGGY WARNING***

I'm so sorry for your loss and to welcome you here. I lost by son at 35 weeks but do know a couple of women on the board have lost older children. I, too, know that emotional roller coaster you're talking about, and it seriously blows. I hope that group counseling does help - I did individual counseling after losing my son, and it did help me a lot. This board was also a great source of support, and it continues to be after more than a year.

Sending lots of prayers and hugs your way. We're here if you ever need us.

kz's_girlygirl · January 2014

I am so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here. Please know that you are not alone and that you, your husband and your beautiful son are in my thoughts. Sending love and light your way

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