co-sleeping for first 2-3 mos only to establish good breastfeeding success/more restful sleep ?

rjnp78 · January 2014

i think i may be talking more of bed sharing..but are there gals out there who did or would recommend this for first few months of life?? i am ftm, later in life, nurse , lean more towards the holistic/natural side--but have a legitimate fear of suffocation. in addition, although i am warm and fuzzy and full of nurturing tendencies, i believe strongly in raising a child who can self soothe (obviously not in the infancy stage )---so the idea of a baby that can't fall asleep on his own or back to sleep on its own (again once in the 4 +mos stage) is alarming to me and it seems like co-sleeping would be contributing to a problem in that sense. how long have most of you done it if you did at all?? and it seems like in the early weeks/months , sleep can be better for both --if done properly and fears are put aside. thoughts?!

Myaflowers · January 2014

I started bedsharing at about 6 weeks, and LO is 1 today and we are still bedsharing. I enjoy the extra snuggles at night since I'm away from her all day long. In the early days, we used a Snuza monitor, which eased my worries a lot. Also google safe bedsharing practices, but you want to avoid pillows near the baby, covers above your waist, long hair that's not tied back, taking medications that make you sleepy, and mattresses that are too soft. Also, baby should sleep next to mom and not between mom and dad. I'm sure there are other things I haven't thought of as well. As far as getting LO out of your bed at 4 months, I'm sure it can be done but no advice on that. The longer we bedshare, the more attached we both got to it, so we plan to keep at it for awhile. You might also try posting this on the attachment parenting board. Good luck!

[Deleted User] · January 2014

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jasieandry · January 2014

I'm planning to bed share for the first 2 mos then move her to the arm's reach cosleeper. With my first she started out in a cradle by the bed but I didn't get any sleep. Then we moved her crib into the room, removed the front and side carred it to our bed. She had her own space but really from then on out we pretty much bedshared and I loved it but she was pretty dependent on breastfeeding to fall asleep. We night weaned at 24 mos and when she was 18 mos we moved her to her big girl bed. While I was pregnant she would spend half to all of the night in her own bed then join us. Now she's in her own bed for the whole night. Sometimes she wakes and daddy will have to go in there and lay her down and calm her back to sleep. Overall I think cosleeping is great for breastfeeding and getting the rest you need.

VitaLuna · January 2014

I was not ok with bed sharing because we have a pillow top and she would roll into me. We have a crib side carred, so I can lean in there if I wanted to.

Honestly, the concept of "more restful sleep" is a joke in the beginning. You will be incredibly sleep deprived.. bed sharing will not change that. At least for my LO, she needed a diaper change before every feed and burp after, so it is/was easier for me just to get out of bed with her and sit in the glider. I frequently fell asleep holding her in the glider in the beginning (we have a nice upholstered one).

cinderin · January 2014

We did not/have never had DS in bed with us.

He did sleep in the pnp in our room for the first 3 months or so.

When he woke up I would nurse him on the boppy on the couch. Usually he just falls back asleep while nursing and we would just go back to bed.

rjnp78 · January 2014

well for the input ladies! I will likely go w original plan of RnP in my room -- and I am glad we have a comfy glider/recliner--this will be an adventure for sure -- all the best!

rjnp78 · January 2014

yikes all I said was I would be 'alarmed'-- not shocked . I'm trying to pick some brains here of those w experience--not being judgey-- for my own sanity and those of any overnight caregivers, I don't want to have a toddler that can't fall asleep on her own.. I am a primary care provider who sees way too many patients and close friends w these kind of sleeping problems and it's certainly not beneficial for the parents or the child's development--it often leads to increased adult stress and fewer hours of sleep for the child --yes 4 mos is probably early but I'm speaking generally in the first year as we begin to work on sleep habits.. and of course illness , developmental stages etc will all play a role in the ups n downs ... good luck to all on this continuous journey .

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ella.mabel · January 2014

I bedshared with DS exclusively for the first 10 months before we transitioned him to the crib. DH and i also had concerns of suffocation, so what we did was leave a spare bed set up in the nursery. Once DS started crawling, the bed disappeared and became a mattress on the floor. So just DS and i were sleeping together - no DH, no other kids or pets, etc. I know it's a controversial topic, but i can tell you that it's the only way i could get any sleep. Others mentioned safe sleep habits - no loose strings or hair or bedding, no pillow top mattresses, etc. etc. It was great for our nursing relationship and also a wonderful bonding experience. I truly believe that babies just want to be next to their mamas and it's a very natural thing. Good luck!

YellowLily2013 · January 2014

I thought cosleeping well bed sharing would be a great idea. Until the baby came! He's the noisiest sleeper, I couldn't sleep at all until he was in his own room. We keep the monitor on him and watch him closely. But it's just quieter!

Being armed with other people's opinions and up to date on research is great. But everything changes when the baby is born.

I've found that a routine has greatly aided in my sons ability to sleep well. This will help them have positive associations to sleep. We do bath, diaper, lotion, nurse / rock/ sing. Put down to sleep. Sure I rock him to sleep and he's used to that but he sleeps well!

Over time they will learn to self soothe (find his thumb was a big day!). But I don't mind being the primary soother. Plus baby's get hungry durin the night for a long time, so it's truly hard to soothe oneself when they are hungry!

thedash · January 2014

I bedshared with DD from about 4 weeks to 8 weeks. DH slept in the guest room so it was just me and baby in my bed. I wore long sleeves, just one firm pillow for me, just one thin blanket to my waist, and some other steps for safe bed sharing. She was waking 2-3 times per night to nurse but only nursing for a few minutes before falling back to sleep. Around 8 weeks I put her in her crib one night and she slept 10 hours straight. So that was the end of bedsharing for us! ;-)

bobcatsteph · January 2014

Bedsharing was one of my "I'll nevers" until I had children.

DS is 11.5 months and we have been bedsharing since about day 3 (when I realized I was not going to get any sleep if I tried to keep putting him back in the RNP). It has been a great experience and it really helped to solidify our nursing relationship.

agfox92 · January 2014

I'm a ftm also. We co-slept for 6 weeks. LO only slept on my chest if she couldn't sleep after 530. That way my deepest sleeping was done and it would only be for a short period. I was worried about bed sharing otherwise. Normally she slept in a bassinet right next to me. We moved her to her own room at 6.5 weeks and she transitioned like a champ. I have gotten much better sleep with her in her crib in her room and wish we had transitioned sooner.

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co-sleeping for first 2-3 mos only to establish good breastfeeding success/more restful sleep ?

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