FTM Q's

TaylorHam86 · January 2014

These may seem silly but I feel clueless. I don't know anything about vaccines, although I think I plan to do whatever the pediatrician recommends, or timelines, and none of my friends have babies yet. It's easier to ask you guys and get real responses and examples than to google and get a million different answers.

I know a lot of these situations depend on so many variables, so let just assume my baby boy is perfectly healthy/normal and let's just imagine I have a magically speedy recovery after delivery, and let's ignore additional variables such as sleeping/feeding/etc. schedules for now. Just the basics.

I'm wondering how soon I can do things with my newborn without risking his health... such as:

How soon can I take him for a walk around the neighborhood in his stroller?
How soon can I take him to church with me?

How soon can I take him grocery shopping?

How soon can I "pass him around" in a social setting (clean hands all around, of course)? For example, I work with teenagers and I know they're all going to want to take turns touching and holding him.

I'm already feeling very protective of my baby, and I'm not looking forward to "passing him around" at all, but I know these are situations that I have to prepare myself for. I feel like I don't know anything about babies and sometimes I get really overwhelmed, like who was foolish enough to think I'm ready for all this!?

TaylorHam86 · January 2014

So they don't necessarily need certain shots?

I'll be BF too.

I keep thinking of PetSmart and how you're not supposed to take your puppy there until they've had all their shots so they don't get sick.

bumpuser10194737 · January 2014

I took ours to church at 2 weeks. Pretty much everywhere after that. I didn't pass around much in general until they were older, because so often they are just sleeping in their carriers I have found that most people are good about not asking to hold them. Teenagers might be different though. ;-)

Walks around the neighborhood- when we get home as long as the weather is ok. Just shield from the sun. :-)

Like savannah_girl said, it makes it a little easier that it's not flu season. :-) I might do things differently in January.

I will have my shots and baby will be vaccinated on the regular schedule.

Themetastic · January 2014

It's all a matter of personal preference. I had a c-section so I couldn't drive for 6 weeks and didn't feel up to walking around the block until maybe 3ish weeks old.

I didn't feel comfortable taking him out into the public (save for doctor appointments) until he had his first round of shots. And he was bfed (for 25 months, actually).

reddroses · January 2014

DS was a December baby, so it was a little different. We only went to my parents house and doc appts until about 2 months old. After his first round of shots, he went everywhere with us. And even then, most people didn't ask to hold him until he was a little older.

Turn4Cindy · January 2014

I'm a FTM as well and I think your questions are excellent! Personally, what I was thinking was that I want to take him out for walks as soon as I'm able to. I think the sun and being outdoors will be good for both of us. I plan on taking him to visit grandparents when I feel able to as well. As for very public places like grocery store or church, I think I might wait until his 2 month shots. I'm glad it won't be flu season, but like you, already feel over protective about too many people touching him.

ksyknelvr73 · January 2014

I think these are valid questions. First, these babies are born out of flu season which means I may be more inclined to take them out and let other people see/hold them sooner (just my opinion). DS was born in mid-February so it was still cold outside and also flu season, so I didn't really take him anywhere until close to 6 weeks. I started walking in my neighborhood when he was maybe a month old b/c it had warmed up enough during the day to do so (I live in the south so it gets warm here in March typically).

This time, assuming I feel okay after a couple weeks, I plan to walk with this baby in our neighborhood ASAP - basically once I feel up to it, and have mostly healed and don't feel sore, etc. I still probably won't go to church and take him out much until a month old or so, just my personal preference.

sweetky_06 · January 2014

TaylorHam86 said:

How soon can I take him for a walk around the neighborhood in his stroller?
How soon can I take him to church with me?
How soon can I take him grocery shopping?
How soon can I "pass him around" in a social setting (clean hands all around, of course)? For example, I work with teenagers and I know they're all going to want to take turns touching and holding him.

1. We took DS#1 for a walk in January the second day we were home. Keep them out of the sun and make sure they are dressed like you are dressed (meaning, don't overdress them) and they are fine.

2. As soon as you are comfortable.

3. I took DS#1 to WalMart at 9 days old. DH works long hours and I couldn't just sit around waiting all day for him to come home when I needed stuff. I either set the car seat in the main part of the cart draped with a light blanket or I wore him.

4. Whenever you are comfortable with it.

danabsd · January 2014

How soon can I take him for a walk around the neighborhood in his stroller?

As soon as you feel up to it. I think it was about 5 days before I wanted to walk anywhere but to the couch and back. (The hemmies. :-q)

How soon can I take him to church with me?

We are Greek Orthodox so we don't bring the baby to church until 40 days (or the closest sunday before) to be churched. The mother is not to go to church in that time either.

How soon can I take him grocery shopping?

We went to Target when she was about a week old. It wasn't easy. I would make sure there were two of you the first time.

How soon can I "pass him around" in a social setting (clean hands all around, of course)? For example, I work with teenagers and I know they're all going to want to take turns touching and holding him.

Two months is a big marker for germs and illness in newborns. I would probably wait until around that time.

runningyogimama · January 2014

We took DD for a walk around the neighborhood the day after we were due. The rest, I would try not to plan, but just go with how your baby is and what you will feel comfortable with--it's really entirely different once they're here! I think I took DD into work finally around a month, because I knew everyone would want to hold her, and I wasn't ready for a pass the baby game before then.

Shell+Bell · January 2014

I took my first out at 5 days old, and only 2 days out of the hospital, because DH had a fever and we had no meds. So we walked to the pharmacy. And a little old lady saw the baby and started talking to me. Then she asked how old he is and I said 5 days, and she said that's a damn shame and walked away. I was like WTF, what was that about. I told me grandmother about it and she said that babies are never seen taken out and about that young. They should be at home. But she never said how old is 'appropriate.' Never heard this 'rule.' But whatever, my caretaker was sick, so what was I going to do? Haha but it's a very dated rule, so whenever you and baby are ready to go out is a good time.

Ziegeficker · January 2014

As a general rule, just keep LO away from people who are visibly sick and request that people wash their hands before holding him/her. DS was born in October, so I was a little more careful because illnesses tend to run rampant during the winter months, but I still took him out and led a normal life. Vaccines will be given in stages and -- from what I understand -- won't do much to protect against colds and the flu virus, but breastfeeding will help build his/her immune system.

I recommend baby-wearing to events and places where you'd like to avoid people touching or asking to hold your LO. A baby worn on the chest is a lot less inviting to touch than a baby in a stroller for some reason.

jenb_99 · January 2014

DS was born in early November and we still had him out and about early on. He went to church at 12 days and a birthday party at 16. I didn't even BF past 3 weeks, and he still didn't come down with his first illness till the following May, 6 months, when everyone claims the risk of illness has diminished greatly.

I'll also be taking this baby out pretty much as soon as I'm healed well enough to do so. I'm already prepared for her to have more illnesses than DS, simply because he'll be exposing her to more. I follow the pediatrician's vaccine schedule and do my best to keep my family healthy, but kids still get sick. You can't really stop it.

pistolpackinmomma · January 2014

DS was born in January, middle of flu season. We were out and about the first week we were home. We just avoided sick friends/family (which they were good about that anyhow) but still went about our lives as normal.

The only thing I would hesitate with is the teenagers but that's just because it seems not all teens think about the lack of immunity as much as adults do.

MissLadyTay · January 2014

I took him out within three days to restaurants and Target. I passed him around to family and my best friends the day he was born as long as people weren't sick and had washed their hands. I hardly ever had to ask, my family was very conscientious of hand washing. I vaccinated on the traditional schedule and breast fed, which really eased my mind re: germs. But to be honest I just wasn't that worried about germs. I mean, am I supposed to say "hi bestie, no you can't hold him because you might have germs?" If that's not awkward for you that's fine but it would have seriously hurt my friends' feelings. And they are clean people who don't smoke, so again, it just wasn't something I stressed about.

LDQAM516 · January 2014

The answer to all questions is as soon as you are comfortable. We took DD#2 to Target as soon as we left the hospital..."flu season and all...just use common sense. Their immunity is pretty good especially if being breastfed.

jfletcher3113 · January 2014

Thank you so much for posting this and everyone for responding! I had very, very similar questions. This is all really helpful!

I read something recently that cautioned mothers about not going anywhere except around their neighborhood for a walk for SIX weeks. I thought, is that really right? I don't think I can do that!!

Mwyld · January 2014

Along with these questions, all of my friends are smokers. How do I politely say, you smell like cigarettes please stay away from my child?

cnbean · January 2014

DS was born mid Feb. We took him to church at 1 week old. I didn't pass him around to people but other than that we went about our normal lives. Vaccines aren't going to protect them against normal colds and flus, so if that's what you want to avoid waiting til they are vaccinated won't help.

But honestly, as long as you are comfortable taking them somewhere don't sweat it. Just don't let germy strangers hold them and you'll probably be fine.

MissLadyTay · January 2014

Mwyld said:
Along with these questions, all of my friends are smokers. How do I politely say, you smell like cigarettes please stay away from my child?

I'm sorry. I don't know the polite way, but I was a stickler about this. My cousin who smokes just wasn't allowed near the baby. I never said it directly to him, but said something to my aunt (his mom) like "please help me keep the baby away from M due to the second hand smoke." She hates his smoking and I think she pulled him aside and said he had to stay away (we were at a big family thing). If he was offended, I didn't/don't care.

Mwyld · January 2014

Along with these questions, all of my friends are smokers. How do I politely say, you smell like cigarettes please stay away from my child?
I'm sorry. I don't know the polite way, but I was a stickler about this. My cousin who smokes just wasn't allowed near the baby. I never said it directly to him, but said something to my aunt (his mom) like "please help me keep the baby away from M due to the second hand smoke." She hates his smoking and I think she pulled him aside and said he had to stay away (we were at a big family thing). If he was offended, I didn't/don't care.

I used to smoke before getting pregnant and stopped immediately. Now the smell of my friends when they come back inside repulses me. I definitely don't want them holding LO smelling like an ashtray.

mrt · January 2014

I took my son everywhere with me. I second the babywearing in public to avoid unwanted touching. I teach middle school and will probably bring baby in at the end of the school year, but will not be letting students touch him.

pistolpackinmomma · January 2014

Mwyld said:

MissLadyTay said:

Mwyld said:
Along with these questions, all of my friends are smokers. How do I politely say, you smell like cigarettes please stay away from my child?
I'm sorry. I don't know the polite way, but I was a stickler about this. My cousin who smokes just wasn't allowed near the baby. I never said it directly to him, but said something to my aunt (his mom) like "please help me keep the baby away from M due to the second hand smoke." She hates his smoking and I think she pulled him aside and said he had to stay away (we were at a big family thing). If he was offended, I didn't/don't care.

I used to smoke before getting pregnant and stopped immediately. Now the smell of my friends when they come back inside repulses me. I definitely don't want them holding LO smelling like an ashtray.

Just tell them that due to recent health studies showing the danger of smoke and babies (I think it's actually third hand when it's on clothes) that you have to request that they change into a smoke free shirt and wash their hands, arms and face before touching the baby.

TaylorHam86 · January 2014

Mwyld said:

Along with these questions, all of my friends are smokers. How do I politely say, you smell like cigarettes please stay away from my child?

@Mwyld My MIL is a huge smoker and she reeks all the time.

I don't know how to deal with this either... :-/

Christinaruth74 · January 2014

great questions! and thankful for these answers. DH and i work with teens as well, so i'm still figuring out how i will handle that... will definitely aim for baby wearing constantly!

Jillzy86 · January 2014

I think these are good questions. As a FTM I was wondering the same thing.

MamaLlama14 · January 2014

TaylorHam86 said:

I keep thinking of PetSmart and how you're not supposed to take your puppy there until they've had all their shots so they don't get sick.

First of all, this is adorable

For real- I'm not being snarky!- it's a sort of refreshing naivety compared to some of the genuine stupid we see around these parts.

Like many PPs, my son was an October baby so it was a little different with flu season and all. I didn't take him anywhere except the pedi's until Thanksgiving, and he was about 8 weeks old by then. We did go for some walks around the block on the days it was warm enough, but in NY those days were numbered by that time of year. As long as LO is dressed appropriately for the weather, you can take walks as soon as you physically feel able.

I also strongly second the idea of babywearing- people are less inclined to reach in and touch when the baby is at your boobs.

KatieP71312 · January 2014

My MWs have a saying - 2 weeks in the bed, 2 weeks around the bed, 2 weeks around the house. That being said, I took baby #2 (born in July) to my husband's softball game at less than 24hrs old. I didn't drive, and it was super close to home. It was nice to get out for an hour and get some fresh air.

As many pp have said - do what makes you feel comfortable!

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