Single Parents

Single Kid vs. Married Kid

Anyone else get sad about the opportunities your child would have if you were married vs single? Or how things would be different?

I know there is no sense in crying over something you can't change, but it just makes me so sad that this pregnancy and I'm guessing a large chunk of my daughter's life will be so different because her father and I aren't together.

Sounds silly, but it makes me sad I never got to do maternity photos for this pregnancy and it doesn't look like I'll be able to do newborn photos either. If I'm ever pregnant again, I hope it's when I'm happily married or with someone great and can do those things...but I feel like I'll be a tinge guilty that I never did those things with this baby. I know there are bigger things in life than photos but it just makes me really sad right now since I'm currently trying to figure out pictures and they last a lifetime. It makes me sad I offered for her father to take part, but he's so wrapped up in fighting me on a custody/visitation agreement before she's even born, that he can't even think about anything else.

PCOS // Loss 3/2010 // Single Mom // Natural Birth // DC Metro // Baby Girl Born 2/2/2014

Re: Single Kid vs. Married Kid

  • I guess i feel like the only thing ds is truely missing out on is having a relationship with his half siblings. The other stuff i guess just doesnt feel like hes missing out because he has bf and bfs ds and the rest of his family.

    But i do get sad he wont have a relationship with his half siblings
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  • I don't really.  I mean, I did allow BD's parents and brother to be a part of her life from the beginning, even after BD dumped me. As much as I wish I could just cut contact with them (because they are batshit crazy, except his dad), I probably won't because I know that connection may be important down the line.  DD has a daddy in my BF, someone who (just the other day) was talking to me about some of the things he's going to do in front of her friends when she's 17 years old. He loves her and its very clear that she loves him too.

    I get what you mean about the maternity and newborn pictures.  I never got any professionally shot pics either and I feel guilty about it, so I don't think I'd do those pictures for any future pregnancies. 
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  • Actually, no, I don't.  It just drives me harder to find ways to be there for her and get her what she needs.  Granted, she's only 9 months old.  But I'd eat ramen noodles for a month if it meant making sure she has a great Christmas or birthday or whatever.  I will also knock myself out to make sure she has everything sentimental I DIDN'T have as a child.  Like a baby book and pictures.  I really couldn't afford to do her 9 month photo shoot but we pulled it out somehow.  Check JCP online to find coupons.  They have done a really good job for us, so far.  You can do a sitting for $9 and you don't have to order the pictures for 90 days.  They always have great coupons for cheap picture sheets.  Also, see if any of your friends have friends that do photography.  Seems like everyone is doing it these days.  
  • Also, I guess I should add that a plus to being a single parent family is that DD will grow up more aware of money and how to stretch it and work for the things she wants.  Even if I were rich I'd still make her work for scholarships and grants for college.  I just think it makes them more well rounded kids and learn to appreciate what they have more than a kid who just gets everything handed to them. 

    Keep in mind, NO amount of money will be able to buy the love YOU provide your child.  What's that saying I just heard....something about you don't remember much of what you got for Christmas when you were a kid but you do remember more of the good times/memories you had with your family. 
  • I feel like you can still do newborn photos, and the whole nine! It may not be the way it looks in a magazine or what not but it will still be just as special to you! There are lot of ideas in the internet that are for single parents! However, I really do understand where you are coming from. It's hard I think of my son not having a father to play football and basketball with. Or my daughter not being able to attend a father daughter dance! (I don't know the gender of my baby yet). I think of these things all the time. So I understand! Hopefully it will get easier!
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