Some things I have learned after 2 DD's

Hi all!  I joined the group pretty late in the game but did an intro about a month and a half to two months ago and have tried to respond to posts as often as I can - hopefully you wont feel like this is a drive by posting   I am not going to share a birth story but did want to share some things I have learned from both pregnancies and births.  Please take them for what they are worth and keep in mind that everyone is different

1) Mucus plug-I have no idea what they look like and no idea if I ever ost it wither either pregnancy and if I did when-I don't think it has any bearing on when baby is coming.

2) Dilation-I don't think this has any bearing on when baby is coming either.  With DD#1 I was 4cm dilated for 3+ weeks.  With DD#2 I was completely closed and not dilated at all at my appt 2 days before water broke.

3) Both my girls were C-Section.  DD#1 was breech and my Dr. doesn't do VBAC so I was a RCS for DD#2.  ~It really isn't all that bad!!~  With a C-section you have no labor pain and when baby is born you look completely rested and your hair/make-up are intact for all those birthday pictures   Honestly my recovery for both have been easy.  And #2 has been MUCH EASIER than #1.  (I know this wont be for everyone as I have friends who have had horrible C-section experiences but that doesn't mean they are horrible for everyone).  My advice is to get up and walk around as soon as they allow you to.  It will be painful but it is worth it and I 100% believe it aids in your recovery. 

4) Weight loss-my stomach shrunk down much faster after DD#1 then it has with DD#2.    Don't have any expectation at when you will get pre-baby body back.  It will happen over time.  Remember: it took 9-months to gain all the weight so give yourself at least 9 months to lose it all. 

5) Post pregnancy hormones are a B%&$@!!!!  I did not get hormonal or have mood swings during either pregnancy but got hit with them BAD after DD#1 and they are definitely creeping up now after DD#2!  Be prepared for it and know that it is completely normal.  Be honest with you DH and make sure he has a clear expectation as well so he can be prepared (we made that mistake with DD#1...)  You will be completely aware that what you are freaking out about or crying over is irrational - it wont matter.  You wont be able to stop so just let it out.  Don't be afraid of your feelings/emotions - be sure to let them out and talk to DH about them so it doesn't become internalized and turn into something worse than baby blues.

6) Men are idiots - no matter how awesome/loving/in-tune your DH is they will let you down in those first few weeks after baby is born.  Keep in mind those first few weeks emotions run high, your body is processing a million hormones, you are sleep deprived, and you are recovering from either birth or major surgery.  Your DH has no idea what you are going through and will not be able to sympathize adequately.  Be prepared for this-not that it makes it better but just be prepared.  Here is an example: 6-days post C-section even though DH was in the hospital all 20+ times the Dr's and nurses told me to "take it easy", "no lifting anything heavier than baby", "no housework", "no lifting, bending, stooping etc".  he watches me bend over (no-no #1) to tend to DD#1 who is crying and wants to be held.  He watches me struggle to pick her up (no-no #2) and attempt to hold her (no-no #3).  As I am grimacing in pain he asks "Do you want me to take her?".  IDIOT!  Of course I want you to take her - you shouldn't even have to ask!  You should have stepped in and taken control when you first saw me bend over to console her but instead you watch it all go down and then ask me if I want you to take over.  He is a great guy-don't get me wrong but men really are good at forward thinking.  Try not to hold this against them. 

7) You need to be comfortable asking for help.  Especially your DH - as mentioned in #6 they are not forward thinking.  They do what is asked of them and that's about it   Don't expect them to be a mind-reader and know what you are feeling/thinking/going through.  Be honest with them and ask for help with night feedings, dishes, laundry etc. 

8) Prepared meals - This is the best gift people can give you in my opinion.  When people call and ask if they can do anything for you or bring you anything take them up on the offer!  They are your friends or family and (hopefully) really do want to help you in some small way.  In my humble opinion the best thing is food.  Meals that are already cooked are a life-saver! 

9) Savor everything - I am not going to tell you to "rest when they rest" and "leave the housework it can be done later".  I am sure it's true but I don't practice that so I wont preach it   What I will say though is: savor and cherish every moment when they are squishy little bebe's.  During those sleepless frustrating nights when you are at your wits end just remember that those nights pass quickly in the grand scheme of things so take a look down at this miracle you made and know that they are 100% dependent on you.  Give them you best all the time and savor those middle of the night cuddles.  My DD#1 is now 18-months old and I honestly MISS those nights sometimes and there are nights I want to wake her up and just rock her in my chair and hold her.  I also believe that in those nights where you are at the end of the line taking a deep breath and cherishing that moment will help pull you through

There is no real point to this thread other than to share my experiences as some of this was shared with me and helped me with my pregnancies.  Please take it all for what its worth and best of luck to all you ladies with inside and outside babies.  Cheers to Jan 2014!!