Eating disorders

Runningmomfam · January 2014

Has anyone else struggled with an eating disorder? I'm trying so hard to be healthy for my baby but need support. I have consistently binged and purged 1-2 days a month for the last year. Everytime I do it I swear I will never do it again and am healthy for a month then I relaps for a day. The morning sickness and indigestion really have made it difficult. I'm going to try a new therapist this week. I have not told my dr about it but know I need too.

Runningmomfam · January 2014

I should add that I have struggled with this on and off since age 15. I was fully recovered my last pregnancy and relapsed after my son was born. I'm just so sick of it.

nunzchucks · January 2014

I have not, but just stopping in to give you a hug and hope you can get help ASAP. Best wishes!

TonyaCody06 · January 2014

I have a fellow pregnant friend with a history of an eating disorder (not a current problem). I know she gets anxiety about gaining weight in the pregnancy. I told her to stop looking at the scale and ask the office not to discuss weight with her as long as she was in healthy range. This has seemed to of helped her some. I know her focus now is on healthy options and portion control so she doesn't feel guilty over what she eats.

Have you tried looking into a form of exercise to help burn calories instead of turning to purge? Pregnancy yoga maybe?

I agree with a therapist and I believe your OB needs to know. It will help hold you responsible for your actions.

misscarter87 · January 2014

Wishing u the best & hoping things get better as your pregnancy progresses

Cherylwang · January 2014

I don't have experience but just wanted to say that I'm sure it's hard and hopefully your doctor and therapist can help you through this. Good luck I will be thinking about you

Unknown · January 2014

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bebemac · January 2014

I don't have experience with this, but I am glad you are seeking out a new therapist if you feel you need one and that you recognize the need to tell your doc. Like PPs, I do think you should bring your OB on board. From watching the experiences of others I know it's a struggle, I commend you for reaching out and I know you are able to overcome this!

sjn00 · January 2014

I have had anorexia for the past 14 years.. It was still a current problem when I concieved and am now being monitored very closely through out my pregnancy. If you need to talk you can always PM me. Its a huge struggle with me right now, so I understand your struggles.

hscoggins · January 2014

I don't have any personal experience with an ED but just wanted to extend my support and encourage you to tell your doctor so you can get the best care possible during your pregnancy. Glad to hear you're seeing a therapist too. I can only imagine your struggles and I hope you can get the support and treatment you are seeking!

Runningmomfam · January 2014

Thank you so much! Everyone's kind words and support mean so much. I know full recovery is possible and I'm going to get there. I would definitely like to be a part of the Wednesday thread Sara joy!

rmjones15 · January 2014

I was hospitalized several times in high school/college for bulimia. My first pregnancy I totally lost control and binged the whole time...I would eat because I felt bad for eating.I was a mess. Since I've had my son I haven't struggled as much, but this pregnancy triggers a lot of issues. I have been seeing a therapist to try and keep things in check, it's really helped. Hang in there!!

flerlgirl · January 2014

No experience, but just wanted to say good luck in working on this! I know it's got to be hard but for you to recognize the issue and admit it here is a big step! Let us know any time you need us.

christinemurray91 · January 2014

I've got an opposite problem, but an eating problem nonetheless. Since I was a kid, I binge eat anytime I'm feeling overstressed (like, to the point where I'm in pain) and have had it under control a few times, lost weight, then hit a crisis and started eating and gaining again.

My first pregnancy, I was dealing with some really hard things and I excused my eating, blaming it on pregnancy and gained 60lbs. Not healthy.

I'm struggling this time because pregnancy gets my nerves up and my emotions high and I've caught myself binging a few times, not realizing until after.

I'm honest with my doctor about it, we're diligent in checking my weight and I'm seeing a counselor about handling things better. Its been a lot better this pregnancy, I've only gained 7lbs at 20 weeks. More than I'd like, but better.

I know it isn't the same disorder, but its a really big struggle for me. I'm sorry you're dealing with this, but talking to your doctor and trying to find someone to talk to might really help

Runningmomfam · January 2014

Thanks for your post christinemurray91. I actually think our eating problems are very similar. I really struggle with binge eating and overeating when I'm stressed and overwhelmed. It gets really bad one day a month and then I loose control and purge too. Yuck! I turn to food and obsess about it all the time. I'm glad to hear that talking to a counselor has helped. I'm going to call one tomorrow and make an appt ASAP. It also really helps to talk about my problem in this community. My husband doesn't know I'm still struggling and I feel really isolated. Thank you everyone.

bebemac · January 2014

@Runningmomfan Could you bring it up to your husband? It seems like he could be a great source of instant, constant support. Thoughts?

jldcjs · January 2014

I had anorexia for a very long time. It is really really hard for me to see my body changing so much. I am gaining pretty quickly which I can tell just by looking at myself. However, I NEVER look at the scale and I have told the doctor to only tell me if I am gaining too much/too little. I just would rather not discuss weight every appointment so this works for me.

It is really hard to struggle alone, it is scary and lonely. Remember that you are not alone. I think it might help to tell your husband. i was really embarrassed to tell my husband some of the things I was doing, but once I told him it was almost a way to keep myself accountable. Plus, I could tell him if I was feeling an urge to do a behavior and he could help.

Also, I would recommend not keeping any trigger foods in your house. Not forever, but just for now when you are really vulnerable.

I'm glad you are getting help. Hang in there! We are here for you.

LovetoLive614 · January 2014

I don't have experience but wanted to give you support and I admire your courage for admitting the problem and seeking help. I am sure it is not easy to do so I am proud of you!

Shineoncrazy · January 2014

I struggled with an ED for many years, so my heart goes out to you. It sounds as though you have steps in place (new therapist, telling your doctor) to help you with your struggles, and many of the PPs offer great tips and support. Also, seriously consider telling your husband, especially if he will be an ally for your recovery.

You were strong enough to overcome it once, and I hope are victorious again!

christinemurray91 · January 2014

@runningmomfan - I'm happy you're getting help! It makes a big difference knowing someone is there to support you and help you explore it a bit to find some other coping methods to help and work on self esteem issues. Good luck with your struggle! Talking about it is a great first step

curlylocks3 · January 2014

I've struggled with both anorexia and bulimia in the past, and the last official diagnosis was ED-NOS because I had developed some sort of combination of the two. I was doing great prior to getting pregnant- I've even said I was healthier than I ever have in my life.

Even being at such a good point my OB was very clear that she wante me working with a therapist who specializes in eating disorders when pregnant because she sees such a huge re-emergence of eating disorders with all the physical changes your body goes through.

The first trimester was really hard- I knew I wasn't eating anywhere near enough but I couldn't help it. Even now I struggle to get enough food in. It was really helpful for me to see that the babies were still growing appropriately on ultrasound. My OB would love for me to toss my scale, but I just can't. I do struggle at times to see the numbers going up but I feel like I am calmer seeing that happen slowly than if I only saw a big jump. I don't know my weight at OB appointments but I know I don't have the self control to never weigh myself....or confident enough to think I'd do ok just seeing the number postpartum.

I'm almost always around, so if you need to talk feel free to PM me. Good luck, and I hope talking to your OB goes better than you expect.

ETA: Remember, the thought process behind it is the last thing to go and the first thing to come back. Its been ingrained for so long its hard to just say "oh no big deal" and move on.

MrsP419 · January 2014

I have struggled with purging disorder for years (just purging without binging), and pregnancy is always a really confusing time for me. I finally got to a point where I was not purging to control my eating or because of body image, but after so much time, it was like my body did not know how to throw up naturally anymore. I would be horribly nauseous and sick with pregnancy, but just couldn't throw up. Or I would feel guilty if I did end up throwing up because of being sick in pregnancy since I had spent so long fighting it. Talking through the feelings associated with a therapist was really helpful. It was helpful to know when it was strictly physical vs. emotional. I definitely second talking to a therapist and your DH to help hold you accountable. It is is something that always sticks with you to some degree, even if you have recovered.

Csouthx · January 2014

I had anorexia for years although I am able to control it most days sadly it'll always be there and I will never overcome it completely. I think it makes it harder when so many people say "you look so well" or "pregnancy really suits you" witch is lovely support but I sometimes think do I look fat then? And I'm quick to add "I haven't put on any weight yet" for me I find it a lot easyier talking to my therapist. It's such a struggle but when LO kicks it makes the struggle worth while and gives me encouragement. For me the biggest worry is when I have the baby I hope I don't relapse as I know how easy it can be. I hope things get better for you, maybe try talking to your doctor who can refere you it helped me so much. You can privte message me anytime you like don't feel like it's just you because everyone's here to support each other. Xx

MissBHaven1024 · January 2014

I am no help but I wanted to say that I am sorry that you are struggling with this, but I find it very admirable that you are reaching out and seeking help and support. I hope that you are able to get into recovery, and that this uphill climb gets better. Big hugs!

Megacane22 · January 2014

I can relate. I have suffered from bulimia since 2007. I let my prenatal nurse know and they took amazing steps to help me with it. They weigh me backwards on the scale so that I don't see my weight and make sure it's only written in their file. They also scheduled me to meet with a nutritionist who asked me to start writing everything down that I eat. It has seemed to help me (almost replaced the eating disorder) bc now I fixate on making sure I'm eating things that are ok for the baby. It's been an exceptionally hard battle and I completely understand what you're going through. sending you lots of light through this journey.

erind228 · January 2014

I also struggled with bulimia a few years ago. I still, at times, will purge when I feel a lot of anxiety. I try not to look at the scale when I am at the dr. office. I know how hard it is to struggle with body changes during pregnancy. I am sending you lots of support.
((Hugs))

deepoceanmama · January 2014

I don''t have anything to say that everyone else hasn't said, but wanted to say that I'm here for you and am glad that you're open and seeking help. I agree with PPs that seeing a therapist and maybe doing some mind/body exercise (like yoga) may really help a lot. Good luck!

roundthree24 · January 2014

First off, I am so sorry you are going through this, especially during pregnancy. I had anorexia for several years which eventually evolved into bingeing and purging before I recovered. The bingeing and purging was absolutely the hardest part of the experience. I think others have mentioned most of the suggestions I have but I'll repeat them anyway:

Toss your scale, and step on the scale backward at the doctors office. As long as your weight is healthy, you don't need to know it. At your next appointment, you really should let your doctor know. He or she can be a big help with this.

Don't keep any trigger foods in your house. For me, it was peanut butter. I wasn't able to keep peanut butter in my house for several years after I recovered. I was terrified the first time we got it after we got married, but time can heal and sometimes you just need a break.

You really, really should tell your husband. I think the only reason I haven't relapsed is because I have been very open about my experiences with people, including my husband. By being open and acknowledging the problem, you are more likely to hold yourself accountable, and at the same time, others can hold you accountable as well. If you have a weak moment, it helps to talk to somebody about it right away, not just a therapist a week after it happens. While I was still struggling with the bingeing, my mom was my go-to contact with this and I could call her any day, any time, and she would listen. I don't know if I would have recovered without her. Your husband can be that person for you. If you aren't comfortable with that, finding somebody else that you can openly talk to about this whenever you need to will be a huge help. Nevertheless, your husband still needs to know. This is not something you should have to deal with alone.

Also, just remember that every time you break the cycle, you are getting stronger and will eventually be able to stop completely. I found that if I stopped myself from purging just once, it was a much longer time before my next binge. The more I was able to stop myself from bingeing or purging, the less frequently they happened, and eventually stopped. I know that stopping a purge is hard, but just remember that the amount you ate during a single binge isn't going to make you gain 10 lbs overnight. I had to repeat this to myself over and over. Staying away from triggers helped stop the binges. Sometimes I was able to stop myself in the middle of a binge, too, but I know that once it starts it's really hard to stop. Just try to remember that even if you messed up a little it doesn't mean you have to give up and keep up the binge. Try to walk away for 5 minutes if you can.

Anyway, hope that helps even just a tiny bit. Others have offered their support as well so if you need to PM any of us, we're here.

gregsgurl81304 · January 2014

I don't have experience, but I think it's great that you are seeking help. Telling your Dr. is extreemly important, and seeing a therapist will give you someone to talk to, but I would also ask your Dr. if He/She can refer you, or give you information on support groups in your local area.

It has to be hard by stay strong and we are all here for you.

katekat8721 · January 2014

No real experience but sending you lots of support and good juju xo. It sounds like you are making good choices to keep moving int he right direction!

bebemac · January 2014

@Runningmomfan Just checking in on you to see how you're doing. Update us when you can.

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