I judge parents that...

Jupiter62 · January 2014

I saw a dad walking down the street carrying his 6 month old daughter. It was 30 degrees out, and she was only wearing leggings, a tutu, and a thin fleece jacket. I judged.

What do you see parents doing that makes you judge them?

coraggiosa · January 2014

Yeah, let's have a thread about judging other people.

At the very least, this could get interesting and liven up the board a bit.

Shanmarie1083 · January 2014

I judge the shit out of this post, does that count?

sgautschi · January 2014

I wouldn't say that I judged so much as felt really sad for a family I saw the other day. They had a maybe two or three year old daughter, and she jumped out of the car with her dad to go into the convenience store. I glanced over and noticed no car seat in their single cab truck.

They looked like they didn't have a lot of money, but I thought there were places you can get free car seats. So it made me sad to see that.

sgautschi · January 2014

I try not to judge parents because there is really no way to know the full story, and it's not fair to them.

It reminds me of when a neighbor called animal control on my parents because they saw our dogs out in the rain and assumed they didn't have shelters. In fact, they had really nice shelters around the back of the house, they just wanted to be out in the rain for whatever reason (they're big dogs).

kgravil85 · January 2014

I judged parents... Before I became one. Now I realize that I didn't know crap before having a baby.

sapphire0228 · January 2014

I used to judge parents for: getting an epidural, using a pacifier, saying "no" and then saying "yes, holding their baby to nap, and the list goes on.

Well guess who does all of these things? This Girl!! And I'm damn proud of all of it. Except for the judging part of course.

But yes, I do feel seriously sad for children with bad people as parents.

happybride 276 · January 2014

I don't want to say judge, but I feel uncomfortable with kids that are on leashes.

I do judge parents who threaten their kids in an extremely physical way. One time I heard a mother tell her 2-3 year old she was going to punch him in his face. I felt terrible for the kid.

I also find it inappropriate to say things like "if you are bad I am going to call the cops and they are going to arrest you". Way to make officers appear as bad people.

Zmommy2 · January 2014

kgravil85 said:
I judged parents... Before I became one. Now I realize that I didn't know crap before having a baby.

Exactly. And like pp's said, as a bystander you rarely know the whole story. It is hard not to judge sometimes though.

redfallon · January 2014

happybride 276 said:
I don't want to say judge, but I feel uncomfortable with kids that are on leashes.

I do judge parents who threaten their kids in an extremely physical way. One time I heard a mother tell her 2-3 year old she was going to punch him in his face. I felt terrible for the kid.

I also find it inappropriate to say things like "if you are bad I am going to call the cops and they are going to arrest you". Way to make officers appear as bad people.

After I put DD on a leash, I'll send one out to you for DS hehe. j/k

happybride 276 · January 2014

redfallon said:

happybride 276 said:
I don't want to say judge, but I feel uncomfortable with kids that are on leashes.

I do judge parents who threaten their kids in an extremely physical way. One time I heard a mother tell her 2-3 year old she was going to punch him in his face. I felt terrible for the kid.

I also find it inappropriate to say things like "if you are bad I am going to call the cops and they are going to arrest you". Way to make officers appear as bad people.
After I put DD on a leash, I'll send one out to you for DS hehe. j/k

Oh God. No way!! LOL. I can't imagine ever using one.

DaisyZH · January 2014

I so try not to judge because since I've had kids there are so many things I know I get judged on and it makes me feel crappy. I don't want to make someone else feel like that. I love my DS but toddlerhood is kicking my butt, I just can't judge other people because kids are great but so hard too.

HBirdie · January 2014

I judge parents who are so concerned with everything going right for their children that they never discipline them or let them learn lessons and have natural consequences for their behavior. For example, parents who go and fight their kid's teacher when he/she gets a bad grade or something. That irks me. I also hate when parents swoop in and do homework for their kids.

happybride 276 · January 2014

HBirdie said:
I judge parents who are so concerned with everything going right for their children that they never discipline them or let them learn lessons and have natural consequences for their behavior. For example, parents who go and fight their kid's teacher when he/she gets a bad grade or something. That irks me. I also hate when parents swoop in and do homework for their kids.

I helped my god daughter with her homework and not taking over is hard to do at times. It's not right, I'm just saying it's a natural instinct to want to do it. I didn't because there is no value in me doing her work.

blinnea23 · January 2014

I try not to judge either but when I saw my neighbor walking in from their vehicle in negative degree weather with her toddler who was only wearing jeans and a short sleeve shirt but she (the mom) was bundled up in her own hat/coat/scarf I was judging hardcore....

bermybabe68 · January 2014

I judge parents who dress their children in clothes that are not age appropriate. I mentioned once before that I don't understand putting baby girls and little girls in bikinis. Children grow up to fast as it is. I also judge parents who don't parent their children but let the child make up their own rules (bed whenever, unlimited tv, hitting etc) and run wild.

janelleashu · January 2014

I judge parents who do hard drugs and bring scary people into their children's home because of their drug use and/or prostitution. I mean, duh, I think that is a pretty obvious judgement, but I have to deal with parents like this sometimes and I try to put my judgement away to be able to focus on their kids' education.

renee6465 · January 2014

HBirdie said:
I judge parents who are so concerned with everything going right for their children that they never discipline them or let them learn lessons and have natural consequences for their behavior. For example, parents who go and fight their kid's teacher when he/she gets a bad grade or something. That irks me. I also hate when parents swoop in and do homework for their kids.

This is my mom. She did not do this with my sister or I, actually quite the opposite. But oh how she did this with my brother. He is now very dependent on her and he is 18 years old. I thank god he just got into the Navy because I really think it's going to give him a chance at being a true adult and not be the baby anymore.

I guess I "judge" parents who let their kids run all over in public places. For one I don't think it's safe and two I would like to do my grocery shopping without having to fight my way through three kids who are playing in the tomatoes while the parent is nowhere in sight.

imakeeff0rts · January 2014

HBirdie said:
I judge parents who are so concerned with everything going right for their children that they never discipline them or let them learn lessons and have natural consequences for their behavior. For example, parents who go and fight their kid's teacher when he/she gets a bad grade or something. That irks me. I also hate when parents swoop in and do homework for their kids.

You must have met my aunt recently.

EllaBelle2010 · January 2014

I judge parents that have children with health problems due solely because of their unhealthy habits. I say this from experience. I have a family member with 2 extremely overweight daughters who both have diabetes and other health problems. And 90% of their problems can be corrected with a simple diet change. I know because I went to the doctors with them and heard the doctor say so myself. And yet nothing has changed.

Nukke · January 2014

No judgey pants here.

Funny story though. I still swear in front of LO (it's hard to break this fucking habit, OK?!) Anyway, Auli and I were coming into the building and I was fumbling with my keys to open the main door. Out of the elevator comes this disheveled 20 something dude, who reeked of wacky tobacci, and looked like he was due for his annual shower. This is pretty much the uniform of all 20 somethings in my crumby town. Anyway, he politely opened the door for us, and gave us a semi-toothless grin. I smiled back and said, "thank you". Inside the lobby, I waited for DH to come in with some groceries so we could all walk up together. Out of the elevator again, comes a big woman with two pits, who are out of control wild with excitement about their upcoming walk. They get into a mini excited dog fight with a shitzu nearby, and the barking and screaming ensues. The woman starts swearing, "you stupid fucking mutts! Fucking come here! COME HERE!" you get it. Auli is getting nervous, and I'm just speaking sweetly to her in a calm voice. The disheveled guy suddenly looks at us and says, "yo, I'm so sorry about the language. You've got a kid. I'm so sorry." He looks at the woman (whom i think he knows?) and says, "That's not right to be screaming like that in front of the kid. Be quiet".

Made me feel warm inside. But also guilty because, as I said, I still have a mouth like a sailor.

EllaBelle2010 · January 2014

Nukke said:

No judgey pants here.

Funny story though. I still swear in front of LO (it's hard to break this fucking habit, OK?!) Anyway, Auli and I were coming into the building and I was fumbling with my keys to open the main door. Out of the elevator comes this disheveled 20 something dude, who reeked of wacky tobacci, and looked like he was due for his annual shower. This is pretty much the uniform of all 20 somethings in my crumby town. Anyway, he politely opened the door for us, and gave us a semi-toothless grin. I smiled back and said, "thank you". Inside the lobby, I waited for DH to come in with some groceries so we could all walk up together. Out of the elevator again, comes a big woman with two pits, who are out of control wild with excitement about their upcoming walk. They get into a mini excited dog fight with a shitzu nearby, and the barking and screaming ensues. The woman starts swearing, "you stupid fucking mutts! Fucking come here! COME HERE!" you get it. Auli is getting nervous, and I'm just speaking sweetly to her in a calm voice. The disheveled guy suddenly looks at us and says, "yo, I'm so sorry about the language. You've got a kid. I'm so sorry." He looks at the woman (who i think he knows?) and says, "That's not right to be screaming like that in front of the kid. Be quiet".

Made me feel warm inside. But also guilty because, as I said, I still have a mouth like a sailor.

I have a major potty mouth too. I don't care, there could be worse habits.

Nukke · January 2014

CurlingRocks said:

I try not to judge, but I judged a friend with bumpers in her 1 year old's crib last weekend. I got judged right to my face over Christmas for finishing my snack before attempting to nurse DD at a Christmas party. Apparently, babies only cry when hungry, and no good mother would ever let her H try to comfort the LO or eat while he did it.

You are some sort of MONSTER!

VitaLuna · January 2014

I judge moms who say they don't judge other moms. Liars. Everyone does it, even of you don't say it out loud.

renee6465 · January 2014

CurlingRocks said:
I try not to judge, but I judged a friend with bumpers in her 1 year old's crib last weekend.

I got judged right to my face over Christmas for finishing my snack before attempting to nurse DD at a Christmas party. Apparently, babies only cry when hungry, and no good mother would ever let her H try to comfort the LO or eat while he did it.

Puhhhlease. I must be the world's worst mother then because sometimes I EXPECT DH to try and comfort LO so I can have four bites of food. People are ridiculous.

imakeeff0rts · January 2014

I also judge people who choose to not vaccinate.
I judge them even harder when they quote Jenny McCarthy like she's a legit medical reference and I'm supposed to give a damn about her.

Let's face it, I judge Jenny McCarthy.

ravenclaw1 · January 2014

I only judge the big stuff. Not vaccinating, esp when you quote ridiculous "studies" and anecdotal stuff ("my second cousins wife's BFF has a kid with autism and it's totes because he was vaccinated!!")

People with dirty kids in public

People who don't use car seats properly.

Things I don't judge:

Kid leashes

Temper tantrums

Jammies on babies in public

BFing in public

Public diaper changes (as long as it's not near people eating/drinking, etc)

HBirdie · January 2014

I try really hard not to judge parents when their kids are throwing fits, running wild, or being loud. Mostly because I have a good friend with an autistic five year old, and hearing her stories about their challenges has REALLY opened my eyes. Of course not every kid is autistic, but you just never know what they're dealing with. She tries so hard to keep him reigned in, but it's easy for him to become overstimulated and freak out, and it's really embarrassing for her. I'm sure people around her are annoyed with her when she can't control him, and it makes her feel awful.

Even if a kid doesn't have special needs, kids have meltdowns sometimes. They run wild sometimes. I think if you judge a parent for this, you're kind of a hypocrite and it's DEFINITELY going to bite you in the butt because someday your kid is going to do the same thing and you're going to be mortified and feel like everyone is staring at you... all because you won't buy your toddler the $50 toy or let them run outside ahead of you or whatever it is they decide to be pissed at you about.

JamieWM · January 2014

I know a mom who had 3 possibilities for the dad and told one of my best friends that he was in fact the dad....when in reality the time line didn't match up by MONTHS. She was a complete party animal, which is fine....I use to be as well. He told her he would help her anyway and she had a little girl who is her "angel" and tries to look like mother of the year but goes out CONSTANTLY. (Since her LO was only a week or so old) my friend since left because of her constant activites and lack of being a mom. I guess I judge moms that want to look like they are always there for their babies when in fact they are not. I am all for a good night out but don't act like something you are not! Own your actions.

JocelynB0911 · January 2014

JamieWM said:
I know a mom who had 3 possibilities for the dad and told one of my best friends that he was in fact the dad....when in reality the time line didn't match up by MONTHS. She was a complete party animal, which is fine....I use to be as well. He told her he would help her anyway and she had a little girl who is her "angel" and tries to look like mother of the year but goes out CONSTANTLY. (Since her LO was only a week or so old) my friend since left because of her constant activites and lack of being a mom. I guess I judge moms that want to look like they are always there for their babies when in fact they are not. I am all for a good night out but don't act like something you are not! Own your actions.

I know a girl like that. I used to go out and have drinks with them after we had lex (lex was 6ish months) every once in awhile. Since I was a sahm then I didn't feel bad about being gone from her all day then leaving at night. Once I started working my priorities changed. I wanted to be around her as much as possible. Then once I got my bfp with colt I wasn't about to go sit in a bar pregnant. She went as far as bitching me out and kicking me out of her wedding because I didn't go out 4x per week with her (not that I went out every time before that).

She had 2 young kids at that time. I recall her son calling their dcp "mom" and her by her first name on the regular.

That being said, I judge all of the time. I try to think of every possible scenario before I make my final judgement.

JLMcWeeney · January 2014

I know a lesbian couple that just had a baby (obviously planned) and they broke up when their daughter was only 5 months old. Now I see pictures of one of the moms partying every weekend. I know having a baby is hard, but I was just really shocked that you can go from wanting to have a baby, to going back to an old partying every weekend lifestyle. I hate that I judge her because she is a really good old friend of mine, but I can't help but wonder why her family was broken apart so quickly after it was put together.

jlp0528 · January 2014

JocelynB0911 said:

JamieWM said:
I know a mom who had 3 possibilities for the dad and told one of my best friends that he was in fact the dad....when in reality the time line didn't match up by MONTHS. She was a complete party animal, which is fine....I use to be as well. He told her he would help her anyway and she had a little girl who is her "angel" and tries to look like mother of the year but goes out CONSTANTLY. (Since her LO was only a week or so old) my friend since left because of her constant activites and lack of being a mom. I guess I judge moms that want to look like they are always there for their babies when in fact they are not. I am all for a good night out but don't act like something you are not! Own your actions.

That being said, I judge all of the time. I try to think of every possible scenario before I make my final judgement.

@JocelynB0911 your final quote adds to my love for you x10,000.

I, too, try to think of every possible scenario before judging someone period, not just parents. Because in all seriousness, "we don't know their lyfeeee!"

Edit for gif fail.... And spelling.

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