Is gender really that important?

lovlibelle · January 2014

so this is it.
I have finally come to a near end of my third and hopefully final pregnancy.
I am having another girl. Yes. That's right. A third child and ANOTHER girl.
I have heard it all.
-wow you're pregnant again! were you trying for a boy?
-you're not going to have another one if it's another girl, right?
-why don't you try for another one if it's a girl?
-I hope you have a boy this time.
-you shouldn't have so much back pain if it's a girl.
The last comment was funny because it came from a woman who only had one child in her life,
and it was a boy.
What the hell would you know? you never had a girl and you only had one child.
I've never expected a different gender, nor I wanted a specific gender.
Like all parents-to-be would want, I just wanted a healthy baby.
But why do these comments get me so annoyed? Could it be that having another girl
is making me so edgy about hearing what others have to say?
The thought of having three girls was perfect to me. All playing together as young kids and they will
grow up together to be best friends to each other, and of course, to me.
And if I had a boy, it was great too.
I didn't have to feel sorry to my husband.
I didn't have to feel guilty towards my in-laws. (I come from an Asian country where in previous generation, boys were the dominant gender)
Even though they do not say anything, I know they were expecting me to have a boy this time.
But why do I have to feel guilty? they haven't treated me any different.
Why am I putting so much pressure on myself?
Is this the pressure I get for marrying a guy who is the only child in his family?
I am sick of people talking about my pregnancy.
Yes, I try very hard. I try not to show people that I am very annoyed.
-No, I don't mind having ANOTHER girl. (What's wrong with having another girl?)
-No, I am NOT having another child after this. (Why should I have another child when I already have three?)
Please don't feel sympathy towards me. I am fine with what I was given, and what I will have.

My DH and I beat the odds of 12.25% chance of having three girls in a row.
The only thing that I am very little sorry for myself is that,
If I ever had a boy, how wonderfully good looking he will be when he grows up.
But that goes the same for my little girls too. I get to look forward to see how B-E-A-U-tiful
my daughters will be when they grow up. Not one, not two, but THREE.

What in the world is driving me to write this anyway?
Oh, I forgot. I'm pregnant. It must be the hormones.
Don't mind me people, I will get back to my normal self once I give birth to my beautiful girl.

jodyen · January 2014

I understand what you are saying. My daughter is half Asain and they all wanted her to be a boy. I felt bad at first but so happy she is who she is, to the rest of it...don't listen to em. My children are going to be about 13 years apart and I have heard it all as "Are you going to start all over again" and "why" and I had some family members ask if my 1st daughter wasn't good enough....>.> So I don't think you should fret much ppl are dumb.

Avion22 · January 2014

I know several families that have 3+ of the same gender. Honestly I don't see what the big deal is. There are two possibilities -- boy or girl -- and every pregnancy is 50/50. All of those people who say that stuff to you need to just STFU, in my opinion.

And, just because you will have three girls doesn't mean that they are all going to be the same. Each will have her own interests and talents. Girls are just as likely to be into sports, science, and rough play. And a boy could be interested in books, art, music, and clothes. The genitalia really doesn't determine the person that your child will become some day.

So no, I really don't think sex/gender is a big deal.

ufsandra85 · January 2014

I'm Japanese. My grandma told my mom it was a huge disappointment and disgrace she didn't give my father a son and instead 2 girls. I don't understand people thinking one gender is better than the other. I tell people I'm having a boy andpeoplesay, wow your husband must be so happy it is a boy. Umm yeah he would also be happy it is a girl. Who cares as long as the baby is healthy. I'm sorry people say such dumb things

Gamera3000 · January 2014

I read that the gender is up to the husbands genes. He could be able to have girls, boys, or girls AND boys. I have an uncle with five boys and an uncle with three girls. My dad had both. My sons father was an only child on his dads side.

I'm having a boy (my first) and won't be having any more kids. The only thing I regret in not having a variety of genders is not getting to buy cute girl clothes.

rainydayluck · January 2014

I totally feel you. We have a DD and are team green this time. Someone asked me if we had a guess and I said I didn't feel anything either way, but DH thinks it will be a girl. This person said "oh, he's probably telling himself that so he isn't disappointed if it isn't a boy". WTF? Are you serious? Actually when we both say, we really don't care what the sex is, we mean it and I think I know my husband better than you do!

jessib10 · January 2014

No! I'm having my second girl too and I've gotten of that too. And when I tell them after this we want to try for one more they assume we're only wanting to try for a boy. No!! It's because we invisioned our lives with three children! If they are all girls we will be just as excited. People can be so rude.

christsgurl · January 2014

I have 2 girls & going to be having a boy for the 1st time (this is our last one) finding out we were having a 3rd was a great surprise but even before that I always thought it would be nice to have a boy, but I would have been thrilled if it was a girl too I love my girls they both have different personalities are so much fun & I never had a sister myself so I'm sure thankful that they will get to experience that. I'm blessed that God has blessed us as much as he has.

EmR22 · January 2014

I understand where you are coming from. I had 3 girls and just had a son in Aug. People assume we were trying until we had a boy and comment about how we must be so happy to finally have a son. They can't possibly understand that we wanted 4 kids no matter what sex they were. It irritates the hell out of me.

beccam1230 · January 2014

I can't say that I can relate since this is our first baby, but I can definitely see how it would bother you. People should just focus on the fact that you're having a beautiful, healthy baby! Not so focused on the sex of the baby.
When we found out we were having a boy, the only thing I was really hoping for was a healthy baby. I would have been thrilled with either :-) I've had a few people tell me that if I'm lucky, maybe the next one will be a girl. No... If I'm lucky, the next one will be just as healthy as the first.. Regardless of whether i'll have a boy or girl. I don't understand why people don't get the concept of no preference.

KariB509 · January 2014

I only have a boy and I can't tell you how many people asked me if I was hoping for a girl. Well not really, just a healthy baby. I would have been equally happy with another boy or a girl. I'm having a girl, which is great, but I would have been just as thrilled to have a boy too. People are dumb.

TexasGirl81 · January 2014

People are asses! Seriously! On my H's side, two people literally cried when we announced it was a girl!

He has two girls from a previous marriage so everyone was hoping for a boy. I mean come on! Way to make me feel good for my first born!

Just know OP some people will never change! ***sigh***

erind0213 · January 2014

I felt like I had to have a son for DH, and we were willing to try for a 3rd if this pregnancy was a 2nd girl. Needless to say I was over joyed when #2 was a boy (and according my 30week ultrasound still is a boy

) and that I can be done. This pregnancy was a lot tougher on me then my first and I am not sure I'd be willing to commit to doing it a 3rd time.

I am happy to be done and have one of each and DH and I for a family of 4.

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