Night Time Seperation Anxiety??

Roxie5739 · January 2014

Has your LO experienced this? A was sleeping great up to just before the holidays. He used to sleep around 9 hours from 6:30pm and wake for a feed and back up at 7am. Life was great. We went overseas, he adjusted well to the time change and again once we came back, but now we are having him wake at 10pm +/-, 1am +/- and up at 6am for the day. I generally nurse him to sleep during the night but lately once I put him down, he wakes before I even leave the room and just explodes on me. Last night, LO and I spent the night in the spare room as I needed to allow DH to sleep as he had an important meeting on today. I do not want this to keep happening. Any tips or tricks I can try that maybe you had done with your LO? My LO is nearly 8 months so I know separation anxiety is a hurdle around this age. TIA!

TJ1979 · January 2014

Have you done any sleep training? I would recommend reading Ferber's book (even if you're anti Ferber) just because he has such great info on sleep cycles and sleep associations.

pb_bride · January 2014

YES! M has had this on and off. We have sleeptrained him and he has been STTN since he was about 5 months old. But around 8/9m, he went through a separation anxiety phase for both naps and bedtime. It hit again when he was around 11/12m? And now at 14m, it's back again.

I have no real solution for you, except that it is only a phase and M usually gets over it after a couple of days/nights.

What M does is he'll cry the second I leave his room, and stop when I come back (even if I don't pat/touch him). I even tried Ferber the other night (that's what we used for sleep training way back when), but it doesn't work with separation anxiety. He got even more hysterical every time I left his room. I simply had to sit on the floor in his room until he was fast asleep (he would raise his head every few minutes to check to see if I was still there), and slip away quietly. Some nights he would sleep all night without trouble; other nights he would sleep for a few hours then cry again.

What seems to work better is if DH goes in to soothe him; M is able to fall back asleep quite easily. I think part of the problem is I SAH with M, so he is more attached to me.

queenbone · January 2014

I haven't experienced this myself so I don't have any experience, but I think @pb_bride has some good tips. Since I nurse too I try to have DH deal with middle of the night things once the nursing session is complete so we know it isn't a hunger issue.

Roxie5739 · January 2014

Thanks for the tips. It happened again last night, I think we are 3 weeks into this problem. Plan to use some Ferber techniques. My only issue is that he still wants his MOTN feeds and he is taking a full feed, not just comfort nursing. I have upped the solids to include lunch and proteins to see if I can keep his belly fuller during the day. I am just so exhausted.....

pantsarella · January 2014

I'm having the same thing from 5-6 months. We're just about 3 weeks into it too, so I feel your pain. Nothing has worked for us yet, so if you find something that does, please let me know!

pb_bride · January 2014

@Roxie5739, you may want to get the Ferber book and read about how to wean MOTN feedings. Dr. Ferber suggests that babies don't physically need MOTN feedings by the time they are 5-6 months old; but many continue to do so because it has become a habit. Like they have been trained to get hungry at Xam, just like we adults get hungry at lunch time or dinner time because we are used to eating at those times. He has an entire chapter on MOTN weaning and it is very informative.

Ruthie04 · January 2014

I'm really sorry. One of my boys did the same thing (SO thankful the other one slept right through it) and it was so awful. We had to get pedi approval to drop the MOTN feeding (low birth weight), but I think we did so around 5/6 mos. I would comfort nurse when he did this, but he'd fall back asleep within seconds of latching and I'd just let him snooze on me. He wanted NOTHING do to with DH.

We never sleep trained, so it did go on for months until suddenly resolving after 12 months. It went away as fast as it came on, but it was a rough go for a few months! Hope you find a solution ASAP! GL.

CarrieB. · January 2014

My pediatrician told me to tell DD1 before we went it bed every night that she didn't need to wake up in the middle of the night anymore. This is when she was 9 mos and still waking 1x a night to nurse. It sounds silly, but babies really understand more than we think. It worked for us. Good luck!

Want a personalized experience?

Night Time Seperation Anxiety??

Re: Night Time Seperation Anxiety??

Choose Another Board

Search Boards