Doesn't Want to Stop Playing to Go Potty

Re: Doesn't Want to Stop Playing to Go Potty

• tlxh7 member

  January 2014 edited January 2014

  I think she's probably just not ready. We have set times when DD has to sit on her potty chair (before we eat, when she gets out of bed, before we go downstairs). Other than that, I won't battle with her if she doesn't want to sit there.
  
  ETA: we've been working on this the last 9 months, and she's finally getting to the point where she'll tell me she has to go and is willing to stop what she's doing so she stays clean and dry.
  

  
  
  

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• ashiscute member

  January 2014

  It honestly sounds like she's not ready.  I personally don't think any special toys/stickers or whatever will work.  They have to want to do it.  If she doesn't want to go then I don't think it will help making her.  I would probably pack the potty away for a month or so and start again.  

  
  

  Just follow her lead.  Being physically ready is only half the battle.  

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• beautiflaw member

  January 2014

  ashiscute said:

  It honestly sounds like she's not ready.  I personally don't think any special toys/stickers or whatever will work.  They have to want to do it.  If she doesn't want to go then I don't think it will help making her.  I would probably pack the potty away for a month or so and start again.  

  
  

  Just follow her lead.  Being physically ready is only half the battle.  

  We did try that a while back. She was fully trained for day and only had a couple accidents here and there for nap or bedtime, and then we moved across the country and I guess it stressed her out and she regressed fully back to diapers. She didn't use the potty for like 4-6 months because we decided not to try to make her go unless she asked us. Then she started pulling out her potty books for us to read again and telling us "big girls don't wear diapers" and asking to go to the potty like mommy and daddy and so forth. So we started again and she did awesome for a while. But in the last 2 weeks she has been refusing to go if she if she is intensely playing or concentrating on something (Like if she's looking at a book or doing a puzzle or playing with dolls). If she's not playing with something that requires a lot of her focus (like just dancing around or talking to herself or whatever), she tells us when she needs to go.
  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• beautiflaw member

  January 2014

  LalaMama81 said:

  Yea, she doesn't sound ready or interested. While we did stickers briefly w/ DD1, if they are ready they don't need all the song and dance. 

  
  

  That said, it sounds like she isn't in underpants? I don't think you can really successfully train w/o wearing underpants - no diapers, no pull ups, etc. So when she is ready, I'd suggest you go out and get the special underpants right away not use them as a reward.

  
  She does have regular panties and she has cloth trainers we use at nap and bedtime. I told her she can have a new pack of panties if she has an accident free day hoping that a new set that she didn't already have would be an incentive.
  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• beautiflaw member

  January 2014

  LalaMama81 said:

  beautiflaw said:

  LalaMama81 said:

  Yea, she doesn't sound ready or interested. While we did stickers briefly w/ DD1, if they are ready they don't need all the song and dance. 

  
  

  That said, it sounds like she isn't in underpants? I don't think you can really successfully train w/o wearing underpants - no diapers, no pull ups, etc. So when she is ready, I'd suggest you go out and get the special underpants right away not use them as a reward.

  
  She does have regular panties and she has cloth trainers we use at nap and bedtime. I told her she can have a new pack of panties if she has an accident free day hoping that a new set that she didn't already have would be an incentive.
  

  Oh gotcha. 

  
  

  How old is she? 

  She's 2 1/2.
  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• dairygirl19 member

  January 2014

  I'm kind of with the PPs. She might just not be ready. We tried last fall with my kid at just over 2 and had the same situation. I backed off, we went back to diapers.

  We just started trying again this week. We've had one accident a day and she's so much better about "I have to go potty" no matter what she's doing than she was previously.

  I'm also in the minority on the Bump, but I hate bribing a kid to go potty. I feel like if you have to do it, they're just not ready...and really how does a sticker make a kid pee? They either do or they don't.

  Also, I know my kid and by the end of the day, I put her back in a diaper at bed. She seems stressed by dinner with the reminders to go potty/remembering to go potty herself etc. So advised or not I give her a little break. She wakes up the next day all excited about her underwear again. I figure she'll keep growing into it. I mean just today she said, "No more diapers at all soon. I give them to the baby."

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• beautiflaw member

  January 2014

  Excited30 said:

  I just wanted to pop in to say that I think it sounds like you're doing a great job, and really, you shouldn't worry about doing any more.  You've taught your daughter all she needs to be able to potty train and get it down.  In fact, it sounds like she has got it pretty figured out.  My first impression after reading your few posts (and again, this is an impression), is that it sounds like you have a very smart daughter who really gets it.. but, maybe after all the teaching, talking, potty prep, etc there's just too much stress on her and pressure and she is showing you she wants it just to be left alone. Sounds like it's become more a hidden battle of the wills.  You really want her to go, and she feels it, and so her natural reaction is to run away into books, games, toys to hide from the pressure.  I am sure that your intentions are good, just as sure as I'm equally sure that you want the best for her.  Perhaps she just needs a chat to remind her how important she is to you, and how you love her regardless of going pee/poo on the potty or not.  Maybe she just needs the pressure off, to let her call the shots with it.  Sounds like that worked before.  I'd just hope that it's not 4-6 months like you mentioned last time... but really, so what if it is?  Totally sounds like she's got it down.  I would gather that once she were to go back to the potty training she'd be an expert.  

  
  

  At one point (after my daughter being fully all day potty trained, even younger than your dd) she went on "potty strike" and started having more accidents, and not being willing to go, etc... as well.  I had to back off and do just what I'm suggesting to you.  I realized about the pressure too.  I hadn't "told" her it was super important..but with all the hype, extra attention, talk, etc..the pressure was there.  As soon as I backed off and had that talked with her, about a week after :"acting like I really don't care" she started to loosen back up and show an interest again.  It was at that point that I actually stopped the cheering everytime she went pee/poo.. I just really backed off and let it be something normal and not different from anything else in our day.  

  
  

  I hope this helps and is in someway encouraging.  It's just my two cents, so take it for what it's worth.  Like I said, it does sound like you're doing a great job and that she does get it too...I really do think it's possibly something hidden and emotional going on that she just can't tell you in words.. 

  You are probably right. Thank you so much. I think this is what I needed to hear.
  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• luvmygirlss member

  January 2014

  What happens when she's bare bottom. Will she just pee herself?

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• beautiflaw member

  January 2014

  luvmygirlss said:

  What happens when she's bare bottom. Will she just pee herself?

  Yep. With a diaper, trainers (cloth or pull ups), regular panties, or bare bottom. She'll pee and be like, "Mommy, I peed" and I'll be like, "Whoopsie, you had an accident."
  
  One of my friends suggested letting her just wear it for a while and that hopefully after a few minutes she'd be like yuck and get the idea that if she doesn't like the wet feeling she'll go in the potty instead. Nope. She doesn't care. She keeps on playing. Also she thinks its funny to pee on stuff now. I made the mistake of giving her a big reaction when she peed on a big stuffed animal (one of those giant teddy bears the size of a six year old) that barely fits in our washing machine. She likes to read while propping against it and she peed her pants and some pee got on the bear. I freaked out and was like, "ohhh no" because this thing is a pain in the butt to wash. I just wasn't thinking...  and now she will intentionally sit on stuff and pee on it! She thinks its hilarious. Obviously now I don't do the big reaction but omg... so frustrating.
  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• ashiscute member

  January 2014

  beautiflaw said:

  luvmygirlss said:

  What happens when she's bare bottom. Will she just pee herself?

  Yep. With a diaper, trainers (cloth or pull ups), regular panties, or bare bottom. She'll pee and be like, "Mommy, I peed" and I'll be like, "Whoopsie, you had an accident."
  
  One of my friends suggested letting her just wear it for a while and that hopefully after a few minutes she'd be like yuck and get the idea that if she doesn't like the wet feeling she'll go in the potty instead. Nope. She doesn't care. She keeps on playing. Also she thinks its funny to pee on stuff now. I made the mistake of giving her a big reaction when she peed on a big stuffed animal (one of those giant teddy bears the size of a six year old) that barely fits in our washing machine. She likes to read while propping against it and she peed her pants and some pee got on the bear. I freaked out and was like, "ohhh no" because this thing is a pain in the butt to wash. I just wasn't thinking...  and now she will intentionally sit on stuff and pee on it! She thinks its hilarious. Obviously now I don't do the big reaction but omg... so frustrating.
  

  Yeah it seems like the best thing you could do is just drop it all together.  I know it's frustrating since she was trained at one point but if she doesn't mind having accidents there isn't really a way to change that.  I'm sure she'll come back around soon.  She is still very young.

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