Babies don't come easy, eh?

CageyMack · January 2014

Hi, Ladies!

I haven't been posting for a while, though I have been reading a little bit. Seems like my DW and I are just right in the middle of the difficulty of making a baby and I feel like sharing. I hope that's okay.

As some of you know, I carried our first "together" baby and it took one medicated, triggered cycle with our KD's sperm. Last May or so we started on the path to getting another baby. DW has not had the easiest go of it. She had fibroids removed, then four medicated, triggered IUIs. Each time our sperm count has gone down, so it seems like vials don't like being in storage, or maybe it is all just coincidental with how they were ordered/pulled in storage. So we have been using 2 vials for each of those four cycles. After all that (and with only four vials left), we discussed IVF with the RE, who thinks that is the best route.

So now she has been on BC for a couple weeks, planning to retrieve on Feb. 19th. The transfer would take place about 10 days before a very important, long-awaited and very stressful two week work trip that is all the way across the country. So after talking to the IVF coordinator today and us thinking about the very real possibility that DW would be all alone while giving herself progesterone and finding out she isn't pregnant (which would require a blood test, and how the heck she would get that in another city), or that she would be all hopped up on drugs while she is trying to do a very important career training just became too much.

So we decided to wait until she gets back. We are mostly doing okay with all the ups and downs, and are pretty darn supportive, but sometimes we get frazzled and snippy.

I'm really sad that it is so hard for her to have a baby. It's all she ever wanted. Lots of women experience these setbacks and challenges, so it isn't an issue of fairness or unfairness: it is just hard to face everyday and not know how in the world it will work out.

We know we have two darling children all ready, which is an amazing, wonderful thing. I just want her to have this very badly and sometimes I worry that it won't happen the way I wish it could. If the IVF fails, I know we will do a frozen transfer for her at least once. If that fails, I feel like I'll probably carry the baby. I just have a funny feeling it will just stick like glue to me and that makes me sad, too, because I know she will mourn her "failings."

She's a good mom. I know however we get the next baby it will be some challenges and some surprises and it will all work out like it is meant to. She has a great ability to have a good cry and then jump right up and be positive, pragmatic and very thankful.

Anyway, I just needed to share with some folks who get it. Thanks for reading.

StacyLH24 · January 2014

I'm sorry that #3 has been a difficult road. You're always welcome to share here.

I have no experience with IVF, but I know the decision to take that road doesn't come easily and it usually means that difficulty has paved the way. Canceling any cycle, whether it be IUI, IVF, at home insem, etc., is disappointing. It means another month without the possibility of a BFP and there isn't much you can do about it. We can't speed up mother nature.

I'm glad you have a plan to move forward. It sounds like you are very supportive of each other and that is essential. I hope that when you do get to move forward with your IVF cycle, that it will be the end of your journey to #3.

shelly2314 · January 2014

I am sorry to hear about your wife's troubles and completely understand. It is wonderful that you are so supportive! Best wishes to you both

ball.and.chain · January 2014

I'm sorry it hasn't been an easy road for your wife. I can absolutely sympathize. If all goes well with my current pregnancy, he'll be born almost exactly 3 years from when we started TTC -- and that's without taking any significant breaks in the process. It's so frustrating, especially when it can be so easy for others. It feels unfair. But so many people have success with IVF, myself included -- hopefully you won't have to wait long before your wife is barefoot and pregnant!

Babies don't come easy, eh?

Re: Babies don't come easy, eh?

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