BFF second baby shower situation

greenbeanqueen · January 2014

So my BFF is due with her second child in June. She asked me today what I thought of having showers for second kids. She is having another boy and her first son is less than 2y/o. Note that she is planning to throw this shower for herself. She asked me because apparently other people have given her negative feedback. I think she thought I would be all "go for it!". I told her it wasn't looked on well to have second showers especially throwing it for yourself. I told her a meet the baby would be more appropriate. She says she wants to "celebrate" and that she is going to emphasize that people don't HAVE to bring gifts and all that. I don't know how to talk to her about it because I think it's such a bad idea, especially since her other close friends and family think it's not a good idea either. What would you do/say? Im sure
I'm not going to be able to change her mind, but she asked my opinion... Ugh

lp0 · January 2014

I had a little Sprinkle for baby #2. It was at the house and very small (about 15 women). There was also a little poem in the invites about not bringing gifts.

If she is interested in doing something like that and someone is going to throw it for her then I don't think it's tacky. But throwing her own party and especially registering for gifts is tacky.

greenbeanqueen · January 2014

Cashingn2 said:
The tacky part to me is that it's her idea and she wants to throw it for herself.

This is what I have a problem with the most. If someone is offering to throw it for her that's different but no one has and all the people she's talked to it about have told her no so she has decided to do it herself.

lilypienmessimy · January 2014

Ya why is she so instant on throwing it herself? That's so odd. I'd just say if you want to have something just have people over for a lunch..you don't have to call it a shower or a sprinkle. That's just weird though, I don't suggest anything but she's gonna do what she wants.

KateVA · January 2014

Throwing it herself is the bad part. Would you want to do something for her instead ? My girlfriends had showers for me for all three boys

readyornot12345 · January 2014

Ya I think it sounds tacky. Def no to throwing your own shower! Do u think she was asking u so u would offer to do it?

KFED103 · January 2014

I'd tell her to post to the baby shower board to see what they say

greenbeanqueen · January 2014

I'm not sure. We don't live near each other and only see each other a couple times a year. We talk all the time, but I don't think she would want/expect me to throw it because of our long distance friendship. I think she was just looking for someone to approve her wanting to throw it for herself.

ugoglencoco · January 2014

If she didn't know the sex already I would say maybe a gender reveal party. We did one and it was a blast! But I agree, a meet the baby would be much more acceptable. Or maybe offer to throw a small lunch for her? Doing it herself is definitely tacky!

imrachellea · January 2014

Oh my gosh...it's déjà vu! Now I remember what we talked about before the LOs got here...!

swirl25 · January 2014

My friend did this... threw herself a sprinkle for her 2nd, registered and the whole shebang, and had the nerve to make it seem like her husband organized it all when it was completely obvious she did everything herself (her big misstep -- what husband has any clue how to throw a shower or sprinkle??). It is looked down upon in my circle of friends too and we were all giving her the side eye. We would have all brought small gifts when the baby was born anyway, but registering for a 2nd child is just over the top.

On the other hand, my girlfriends organized a small dinner for me a few weeks before LO (DD2) came, just to celebrate her impending arrival. Some brought small gifts, some didn't, but they all paid for my dinner. It was a lovely surprise and in no way expected. Maybe organizing something like that for her would be more appropriate.

Ktrue85 · January 2014

Nothing you say is going to change her mind, and I bet she wants the gifts. With people like that I just give up.

aundrea1225 · January 2014

Im in the same boat kind of. But it's my sister who wants another shower. She has a 2yo son, and now she's due with a girl in March and is having a shower hosted by my dads wife. I told her that wasn't really appropriate just because you want pink things now. I'm still gifting her things because I love her and I'm so excited, I just don't think it's necessary for another shower. My family has already bought her son so much stuff and now they all have to fork out more money 3 months after buying stuff for my shower. But like some other people said, if she wants it, she's going to do it anyways.

greenbeanqueen · January 2014

I offered to throw her a meet the baby party but she says "with two kids who will have time for that". She later informs me she want a shower for every child she has to "celebrate their arrival." It's a lost cause.

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