Sleep Begets Sleep but how do you get it?

ack2002 · January 2014

My son is 5 months old and a HORRIBLE sleeper. Like, wakes up every hour during the night and the only way I can get him back to sleep is to nurse him. He refuses to sleep in his crib (thanks to my husband who holds him during the day). I am so tired that I end up bringing him in bed with me. He is so sleep deprived that his whole demeanor has changed. He is no longer my happy smiley baby, he's just exhausted all of the time. I really try to get him to sleep in his crib at night and during the weekends when I am off but all he does is cry. He gets even less sleep, which makes him overtired and sleeps like crap during the night. It's a vicious cycle!! How do you get him to sleep when all he does is cry during naptime and at night? Will it finally click at some point? I am so worried and stressed about this! He needs to learn to sleep/stay asleep on his own!! I have tried the Sleep Lady Shuffle and Pantley method. Too young for Ferber (which I don't personally agree with). Help!!

Carnation77 · January 2014

When your husbands holds him while he's sleeping, is it upright? A lot of babies with reflux have trouble sleeping lying down flat but are OK upright.

ack2002 · January 2014

No my baby usually is laying down next to him. He needs to stop holding him and we need to be consistent across the board about not holding him but it's so hard when your baby is so sleep deprived. I'll do anything at this point to get him to sleep

Chatterbug6917 · January 2014

Have u tried the magic sleep suit- i would try that at night and maybe a swing or bouncy seat during the day, stop holding him so much- my son was a sucky sleeper but I got the magic sleep suit and he sleeps through the night after 5 days

good luck and hang in there it gets better

BelhurstBride · January 2014

Is the not sleeping relatively new? Could it be related to a wakeful phase? Is he working on a new skill?

DD2 will only nap if held, but sleeps relatively fine in her crib at night, so you can probably cut your DH some slack.

You say you've tried two different methods, but your LO is only 5 months old. How long did you give either of them to work? We used the NCSS on DD1, but it definitely took a month before we saw success. You may need to be more consistent and patient.

DD1, as an infant, only slept well if she was in my bed. Are you against bedsharing as a temporary solution?

pantsarella · January 2014

I have no advice other than I'm in the same boat. DD will not sleep unless she's held anymore. She done since a few days over 5 months (she's 6 months on Sunday). We're about at the end of our rope and may end up with some form of CIO soon. She sleeps totally fine when she's held but screams otherwise.

JilllyBean · January 2014

Did he ever sleep in his crib? Do you think he is hungry (does he eat for a while) or is it just a comfort thing?

ack2002 · January 2014

He only comfort nurses. Basically I'm a human pacifier. And he falls asleep in his crib- yes I put him in there awake- but he still wakes up every hour. A lot of the time it's because his paci fell out. I'm thinking if getting rid of it. Around midnight he wakes up and is wide awake until I'm so tired of trying to get him back to sleep that I bring him in bed wirh me. This is so rough!!

amandarins · January 2014

I second the Merlin Sleepsuit. It really is magic!

michelle7482 · January 2014

Third the Sleepsuit. We love it!

scamberlous3000 · January 2014

Sleep suit or swaddling FTW

taraleanne · January 2014

At 5 months old I personally wouldn't start swaddling or sleep suits- babies at this age are just learning to move alot and sometimes they do it in their sleep to get comfy. Alot of babies roll on to their tummy around this age and sleep with their bum in the air because that's how they are comfortable, and then the sleep better/longer.

I think you should check out the No Cry Sleep Solution book. If you want him out of your bed and our of your husbands arms you have to quit giving in and be patient. It's going to mean being consistent and it's going to mean a rough couple of nights but it will get better if you persist and BE CONSISTENT. Even when they go through a phase, you need to be consistent and they fall back into it after the phase (usually developmental or teething or illness or vacation related etc...) On the other hand, if you are OK with him being in your bed then there's nothing wrong with that either. You can help your baby to sleep better, independently and while still meeting his needs and nurturing him. I agree that an overtired baby is a cranky one so it sounds like you need to do something soon. Again I'd recommend the book I noted above. Good luck!

catycate · January 2014

Just drop all attempts for a few days to get him some good sleep by whatever means nessecary. Get that baby back on track and happy and rested before trying anything. You are fighting an uphill battle trying anything when he is tired. My DD is a pretty good sleeper, but we have days where we have to go to square one f she needs extra milk (she is bf), comfort or cuddles. Once she is well rested, we can get back on track.

luvmygirlss · January 2014

Are you following an age appropriate sleep-wake schedule for him? Sometimes getting the timing "just right" is all that you need to improve a baby's sleep.

drozio · January 2014

All this, I realized with DD1....she was exactly how you mention your situation to be. It took a long time of being consistent and a few times of CIO (it is what worked for us) and then it all changed. Recognizing her sleep cues was a HUGE help, and changed everything....took me a week or so to really get them down.

Sing2phins said:

luvmygirlss said:

Are you following an age appropriate sleep-wake schedule for him? Sometimes getting the timing "just right" is all that you need to improve a baby's sleep.

I found this to be absolutely true. When I started paying closer attention to my LO's sleep cues and awake time and started putting her down for naps BEFORE she cried from tiredness, everything improved dramatically. She's only about 10 weeks, so I don't have advice for a 5MO, but she maxes out at 90 minutes of awake time between daytime naps, and really is better with closer to 75.

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