Trying not to judge a friend

HisChamaoleGirl · January 2014

I have a friend who has two sons and maybe it's bc I've never raised boys that I think something she does is weird. Maybe the word "judge" isn't the right word for the title. Anyway, she just posted a pic of her youngest with the caption of "potty training has began." Well, the pic is him with his pants at his ankles peeing into a bush in a parking lot. Is this a normal or accepted way to potty train a boy? Just let him go where and whenever he has the urge? I remember her doing this with her first son (now 7) but said she made him stop at 5 bc he would be going to school.

sunshine2929 · January 2014

I would never teach my son that that is acceptable behaviour. I know guys do it but its a whole other thing to teach them to do it. They should be taught to use a restroom like the rest of us.I think that's just irresponsible and lazy on her part.

Shanmarie1083 · January 2014

It's certainly not the way that I potty trained, but I'd be lying if I said that DS has never peed in the bushes or in a parking lot. Kids are funny in that you can be in a store for an hour and they will never tell you that they have to go pee until the second you start to drive off. That's when you pull over and just let them go wherever you can find a bit of privacy.

ETA - I would never post a picture of this happening though. I've never even taken a picture of it happening. My goal is to let him do his thing as quickly and as discreetly as possible. Stopping to snap a photo is just weird IMO.

mistyflame · January 2014

I've heard it's a quick way to potty train boys because it's "cool" to them. I personally did not do that with DS1, we potty trained the old fashioned way - in the toilet. But I also know that when he gets older DH will let him pee outside when they do their outdoorsy stuff. I just ask that he waits until the boys are old enough to know when it's ok and when it's not.

imakeeff0rts · January 2014

You can try not to judge her all you want. I, on the other hand, am judging the shit out of her.

ETA: I'm judging her for posting a picture of it on the internet for all to see. Also, who teaches a kid that it's acceptable to do that in public? I mean, if he was in a parking lot, there was a bathroom available somewhere nearby. At the very least give the kid a water bottle. FFS.

ETA: I'm feeling particularly pissy today.

redfallon · January 2014

There is a picture somewhere of my nephew 20 years ago doing this when he was potty training age, but we were camping. And there was no Internet like we have now to post it online, thank goodness. At the time it was a cute picture.

I don't take her caption as how they actually potty train, but as trying to be funny with the caption.

HBirdie · January 2014

I think it's weird to teach/encourage a kid to do it. But I understand an emergency happening and needing to let them pee behind a tree or into a bush or something.

Growing up, I don't remember my parents ever encouraging my brothers to do it, and I don't remember them doing it either (that sounds weird... it's not like I was paying a lot of attention to my brothers' toilet habits. IDK. Now I feel weird. Please don't judge me). However, and this drives me nuts, DH pees outside a lot. He works construction so sometimes he has to, if the people he's doing work for don't get a port-a-potty or let him use their bathroom. But sometimes he does it just because and I really don't understand it. Like, sometimes we'll be leaving my parents house after dark and before we drive away, he'll go pee behind a tree. I'm always like, "Uh, there's a toilet RIGHT INSIDE." And he's like, "This is easier!" It's so strange to me! But whatever. So anyway, I'm guessing Caleb will do his fair share of peeing outside. But seriously, shoot me if I ever put a pic of it on Facebook! I would never do that. Ever.

ETA: typo

Nukke · January 2014

I take issue with parents posting pictures of their kids, all over Facebook, involved in what should be a private time. So that alone gets a side eye.

And I agree with PP on the laziness.

sgautschi · January 2014

I agree it's strange, and I'm definitely judging her for posting a picture of her son peeing. Why would she think that people want to see that? I mean no one would take a picture of themselves on the toilet right?

Who am I kidding, someone out there has definitely done this. Oh wait, it was my crazy 30 year old cousin. And that picture grossed me out...

thedash · January 2014

I imagine this will happen to me at some point as DS does not love potty training. Better in the parking lot than in my car i guess. I may even have an embarrassed chuckle over the situation. But I would NEVER put a picture of it on Facebook or use it as a potty training technique.

Salemkitty13 · January 2014

I work in an elementary school. It's super common for little boys ( usually in kindergarten) to pee on the playground. If you see them by the fence.....

Not to say its accepted behavior but just that they do it a lot.

JocelynB0911 · January 2014

As the mother of a potty training boy I find it appalling that she lets him do this. Just no.

HisChamaoleGirl · January 2014

dhaueisen said:
Maybe they were somewhere with no bathrooms and he had to go ASAP and wasn't in a diaper due to potty training so it was the only option. Could be what she meant, but who knows.

This is not the case. I've been with her and this has happened on more than one occasion in more than one (or five) parking lots. This is her method for potty training.

Af1004 · January 2014

We live on a farm so if/when we have a bit he'll pee outside. My DH is like HBirdie's, he pees outside quite a bit but like I said we live on a farm. Dh cousin let her 4 year old pee off the porch at Hooters! Totally not ok! And no one should put a pic on the Internet.

jlp0528 · January 2014

It'd be one thing if he was urgently telling you he had to pee that second and couldn't wait, but making a habit of it NO, and posting pictures of it on the internet oh HELL NO.

DaisyZH · January 2014

I would never let DS do that as part of potty training. I know my kid and he would think it was the best, coolest thing ever and he'd never pee in a potty again. I would of course let him do it in an emergency once he is trained. I also would never post a picture of that.

redfallon · January 2014

HisChamaoleGirl said:

dhaueisen said:
Maybe they were somewhere with no bathrooms and he had to go ASAP and wasn't in a diaper due to potty training so it was the only option. Could be what she meant, but who knows.
This is not the case. I've been with her and this has happened on more than one occasion in more than one (or five) parking lots. This is her method for potty training.

In that case, just no. Ugh.

imakeeff0rts · January 2014

Af1004 said:
We live on a farm so if/when we have a bit he'll pee outside. My DH is like HBirdie's, he pees outside quite a bit but like I said we live on a farm. Dh cousin let her 4 year old pee off the porch at Hooters! Totally not ok! And no one should put a pic on the Internet.

I'm side-eyeing parents having a 4, year old at Hooters.

PrettyFade · January 2014

redfallon said:

Maybe they were somewhere with no bathrooms and he had to go ASAP and wasn't in a diaper due to potty training so it was the only option. Could be what she meant, but who knows.
This is not the case. I've been with her and this has happened onThis. more than one occasion in more than one (or five) parking lots. This is her method for potty training.
In that case, just no. Ugh.

PrettyInPearls23 · January 2014

My older son has peed outside plenty of times and I may or may not have taken a photo of it from behind. BUT, I've never posted it online for anyone to see, we were camping in all instances of him peeing outside, and it's definitely not the method we used to potty train him!

I can't promise that photo of his teeny-tiny-tushy aiming into the tall grasses of the campsite won't be shown to a GF or something like that when he's older. Every mom needs a photo or two like that of her kids!