Ppd. BTDT advice

Wjoyner08 · January 2014

I posted last week about coming to the realization that something was not right with me. I finally got in to see my doc on Weds and she confirmed it was PPD and because of the major weight loss combined with everything my estrogen levels have tanked thus causing my supply issue, which she says I will most likely never recover completely from and will have to supplement more and more as Z grows. I'm ok with that, I'm ok with the meds and after taking them I feel like there might be hope in getting back on track. However, I have one major problem I am still struggling with... My husband.

My MIL is bipolar and has been since she was 16. My husband grew up around it and saw how drugs and electroshock effected her ability to live life. That being said when I started feeling like I needed help his exact words were "you're taking this depression thing a little far don't you think?" I was crushed. I went to the doc and got the prescriptions anyway and when I came home and relayed what the doctor had said he spend a good half hour trying to talk me out of taking them because "they don't solve the problem, and they just make things worse in the end." I'm taking them anyways.

That all being said has anyone else dealt with a reluctant SO? I really need him on my side.

Thanks

Eta:forgot to proof read

mommabmb · January 2014

I wonder if finding some reading material about PPD would help? My H is supportive, but we sent articles back and forth for a few weeks after my diagnosis.

I'm glad you're getting help. I hope you feel better soon.

And I hope your husband gets over his pride and past enough to support you through this... You're going to need his help.

Speshul · January 2014

My DH was on board however I was worried about drugs. The drugs are a tool. They helped me remember what stability felt like and helped my mind calm down and work through problems. My doctor said when you get depression, your body doesn't remember how to produce the chemicals in the right amount to keep you balanced. If you continue suffering it can spiral downhill. I think you should have a talk with him and say

1) Your mom's sickness is different than what I am going through. It's not fair to me that you make a blanket statement about all mental issues and treatments just because your mom's didn't work or wasn't the right one.

2) Treatments and doctors have changed since you were 16.

3) There is no such thing as taking depression too far. Depression should be taken seriously or it will get worse. That is a very hurtful thing to say.

4) The pills are a tool and you plan on staying educated and self aware. You want to work through the emotional problems not mask them. Think of the medicine as a hammer....You can use a hammer to put a nail in the wall or a giant hole in the wall.

5) Not every medication is right for every person. You may need to switch medication a few times until you find one that works for you. He needs to know that in advance. For example, Birth Control....there are some pills that can give you horrible side effects but be perfect for someone else.

rfrazier611 · January 2014

Mine didn't really buy into it until I lost my shit and put a hole in our bedroom wall one day.

It sounds like he's scared for you. He probably feels that whatever's going on with you now is better than what his mom went through. He'll probably come around once he sees you begin returning to yourself.

PB102012 · January 2014

I have no advice, but I hope you continue to feel better continuing the medication. Hugs.

Khaleesi07 · January 2014

I hope things get better with you as well. My SO wasn't taking my PPA seriously enough at first, and it hurt. Would it help to have him come to one of your appointments and have your doctor explain your situation and why the meds are helpful? It's sad that he had to deal with his mom's bi polar, but you are not his mom, and this is a totally different situation.

coraggiosa · January 2014

Definitely get some information on PPD for your husband. I would even consider bringing him with me to your OB and having her explain it to him.

While I understand that he is likely scarred from his mother's bipolar disorder, he can't take that out on you. Medicine really helps. I am feeling SO much better than I was before I went on medicine.

I would also press him on the idea that medicine makes things worse. Antidepressants can work wonders with depression. Bipolar disorder is a completely different illness.

If you need someone to listen, please PM me anytime.

MommyBolty · January 2014

Sorry to hear you are having trouble getting support from your H. I agree with PPs in arming him with literature on PPD and how the medication will help. It's really tough...and I do understand. I come from a family that doesn't believe in taking medication for mental illnesses...until my big brother went to fight in Iraq and my parents finally realized sometimes people need a little extra help. I hope he comes around and starts to support you! Take care of yourself! Good luck!

kanned0121 · January 2014

I know I'm just an internet stranger.. But I'm proud of you for going and getting the help you needed and deserved, despite what your DH thought.

As many have said, it's probably hard for him because of what happened with his mother. He only wants what's best for you, but the experience with his mom has kind of ruined his views on the great benefits of modern medicine.

I wish I had advice.. Just know you're doing the right thing and getting help. Aug 13 is amazing for support. Keep up the great work, mama!

sftbllstr87 · January 2014

I commend you for getting the help you need and taking the steps to get better for yourself even if H is not on board yet.. I don't have much advice, I felt my depression full blown this week and I chickened out everytime I tried to talk to DH about it, he just doesn't understand it, his brother suffered from it and he always just thought like your husband it's being taken too far, it's not a choice we can't say oh I feel like being happy again tahdah.. As others mentioned bombard him with the proof, articles, statistics and show him that being bipolar and suffering from ppd are completely different and you are doing what's best for you and LO ... Good luck I hope you find a solution and get his support

Wjoyner08 · January 2014

Thanks so much for the support! I'm hoping things will get better and I can show him as well that it was worth it. I'm already sleeping better which in and of itself is helping! And for once I don't dread the thought of eating. He's noticed this too so maybe it'll help him as well.

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