Community› The Bump Message Boards› Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
New Discussion

Extreme clinginess - advice needed

jani7jani7 member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
My DD just turned 1 in December and she has always been a very clingy baby.  She really only tolerates other people but would much prefer that I be holding her.  She is just a really hard baby and pretty fussy in general.  Throughout the last year I keep thinking when we hit this or that milestone (sitting, crawling, walking etc) that she will get better/easier.  She only occasionally plays by herself or with her brother but she mostly just wants to be held. 

I admit that I have probably contributed to the problem as I pick her up anytime she wants to be held and I cater to her fussiness.  We also have a 2 1/2 year old who I need to read to, play with etc but it also frustrates him when she cries (she's really loud).   I often wonder if it's a medical problem (she has struggled with reflux and has food allergies) but she seems fine and happy at her children's day out program.  Any thoughts advice?  Do I do a bootcamp and just not pick her up all the time? Anyone else dealt with this? 
Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Report Reply to Post

Re: Extreme clinginess - advice needed

  • jani7jani7 member
    Nicb13 said:

    If you suspect something is wrong medically then I would definitely ask your Pedi. Even around that age DS was pretty clingy and attached to me. He goes through spurts where he only wants me and no one else will do.

    I probably wouldn't go with the bootcamp/tough love approach in this situation but that's just me. I think that would confuse her and might make her more unhappy. For whatever reason she needs you when you are around and you ignoring that might make things worse. Maybe it's just her personality? Sorry I don't have better advice!

    I did have her ears checked this week just in case and I have an appt with her GI. And I was exaggerating with the bootcamp, I'm too soft hearted. But I am super burned out from her clinginess :(

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • jani7jani7 member
    Nicb13 said:

    Oh I figured you weren't totally serious about that, but not picking your LO up every single time is an option. It gets hard when they are so desperate for you to hold them though. I get that. I'm burned out from my 1 kid ;)

    Haha! :)  I may try not to cater quite so much and not pick her up every single time she requests! 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • BLPL101BLPL101 member
    DD was a very easy baby, but for the past month or so has been extremely clingy too. She will be 13 months in 2 days.
    image

    BabyFruit Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • ashiscuteashiscute member
    My DS is very similar to your DD.  He is 16 mos but he wants to be held a lot.  He has reflux (still taking medication), has food sensitivities, and chronic ear infections.  He had tubes back in August though and that helped tremendously.  Honestly, I do not always give in to his crying because I cannot.  I can usually tell if he is truly upset or just being whiny.  If he is just being whiny I don't pick him up.  If he is truly upset that is different.  

    I also have a daughter who will be 3 in a couple weeks and needs lots of my attention/love too.  It's hard because my DD will be patient and wait and just say things like "i want hug too mommy.  my turn next" and I feel terrible for her.  I guess I have no real advice just to say I'm in the same boat and I don't pick him up all the time and he deals with it.  
    Report Reply
  • jani7jani7 member
    ashiscute said:
    My DS is very similar to your DD.  He is 16 mos but he wants to be held a lot.  He has reflux (still taking medication), has food sensitivities, and chronic ear infections.  He had tubes back in August though and that helped tremendously.  Honestly, I do not always give in to his crying because I cannot.  I can usually tell if he is truly upset or just being whiny.  If he is just being whiny I don't pick him up.  If he is truly upset that is different.  

    I also have a daughter who will be 3 in a couple weeks and needs lots of my attention/love too.  It's hard because my DD will be patient and wait and just say things like "i want hug too mommy.  my turn next" and I feel terrible for her.  I guess I have no real advice just to say I'm in the same boat and I don't pick him up all the time and he deals with it.  

    Glad to know I'm not the only one!  

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • ashiscuteashiscute member
    jani7 said:
    ashiscute said:
    My DS is very similar to your DD.  He is 16 mos but he wants to be held a lot.  He has reflux (still taking medication), has food sensitivities, and chronic ear infections.  He had tubes back in August though and that helped tremendously.  Honestly, I do not always give in to his crying because I cannot.  I can usually tell if he is truly upset or just being whiny.  If he is just being whiny I don't pick him up.  If he is truly upset that is different.  

    I also have a daughter who will be 3 in a couple weeks and needs lots of my attention/love too.  It's hard because my DD will be patient and wait and just say things like "i want hug too mommy.  my turn next" and I feel terrible for her.  I guess I have no real advice just to say I'm in the same boat and I don't pick him up all the time and he deals with it.  

    Glad to know I'm not the only one!  

    It always feels that way but you never are alone in it.  I know I will complain to DH about how clingy and whiny DS is and then he'll come home and between the two of us it's much easier to give both kids attention.  And then he'll say "I don't know what you're talking about.  He seems happy enough to me."  And then I have to fight the urge to stab DH in the face.  
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"