What do you do?

katdesear · January 2014

DH and I took LO to the in laws yesterday. We live a mile away and we stop by frequently so this happens a lot. With his sleep regression, teething and just getting over a cold, LO has been very clingy, which I don't mind. DHs father loves to hold LO but lately LO fusses which brings me to ask what do you ladies do when LO fusses while others are holding them? Do you offer to take them back or wait for them to bring LO back? I look for cues, DHs father will often say "I'm not sure what you need", or something of the like. I'll run over and ask if he wants me to take him back, sometimes I make suggestions on how to calm him. My mil tries to calm him herself when she is holding him or tells LO to "be patient, let mommy finish eating" or something like that. That let's me know that she is ok and to come get him when I'm done. What do you ladies think?

AlejandraN2 · January 2014

I'd approach it in a similar way as you have. I always ask people if they are ok or if they want me to pick her up. Some like to try and calm her down themselves and some just hand her over. It's usually a women vs men split in my experience. I like your idea of giving them tips on how to calm the baby down.

thedash · January 2014

I really try to let other people deal with her, especially if I am doing something with DS. If she gets to the point of actual crying (not just fussing) I generally step in. The past few weeks she just stops crying the instant I take her from someone else, which I guess is flattering but also annoying when I'm trying to eat or get something done that requires two hands.

Heffafish · January 2014

I usually just let them know what she likes, or suggest different ways to hold her that help calm her down. I also try to distract her from getting upset if I am standing next to them as well by pulling faces and talking to my LO to make her smile while they hold her, although if she continues getting upset I offer to take her if they want!

Shanmarie1083 · January 2014

Depends on who's holding her. If she's crying with DH or my mom I just let her be and they will usually figure out what to do to calm her. If it's anyone else, I just take her back. I don't ask... I don't need permission to take my baby back. I'm sure they find it annoying that I just step in, but once she gets worked up it's much harder to calm her back down.

leahaustin · January 2014

I usually rush right over and see if the person wants me to take her back. I am just afraid that people will get annoyed with me having them hold my crying daughter. Usually my Mom wants to try and calm her and she does a good job.

DaisyZH · January 2014

I just ask - I offer to take her if it's too much but if they want to try and soothe her that's great too.

Tally879 · January 2014

I would take him back, if it's the ILs I give them a minute to try but he usually only fusses when he's tired or hungry and at that point he wants me to put him down for nap or feed so I just take him.

CDMay2006 · January 2014

Depends in who it is and what he needs. If he's just fussy i say something like, "let me know if you'd like me to take him," or i offer a suggestion (change position, offer pacifier, etc.). If i want him back i say, "here, let me help," or "he must want a new diaper."

lindseyb624 · January 2014

I usually suggest a new position and I try to distract her. If that doesn't work then I offer to take her back. Most people will give her back because they don't want to be the reason she's upset. My parents can almost always calm her and can tell when she's hungry and they give her to me (EBFing). My MIL on the other hand will not give her up so I usually have to just go take her. That annoys me to no end! I'm fine if people want to soothe my baby but if I know something specific is wrong then give her up!!

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