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miscarriage, ectopic...everyone is prego!!!!

amtadloc@yahoo.comamtadloc@yahoo.com member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
I just thought that I would reach out and try to get some advice.  I had a miscarriage this year in April followed by a D&C.  Then on my birthday in August I found out I was prego again, but it was ectopic.  I had 2 methotrex shots and in September I had to have emergency surgery when the tube ruptured.  During surgery the doc found out that I have endometriosis.  The OB put me back on birth control for 4 months and told me that I will be able to try again in February.  I have also gotten a second opinion in the mean time and the 2nd OB has said the same thing.  Both doctors don't think that there will be much of a problem.  In the meantime of waiting for Feb to come, EVERYONE I see on Facebook, in the mall (where I have a part time job), friends, and now even some family members are prego!!!!  I am having a really hard time being happy for these people right now.  It just upsets me to think that I should be on maternity leave right now!  What is the best way to get over this resentment and be happy for the people.  I know it is such a blessing, but it still hurts.
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Re: miscarriage, ectopic...everyone is prego!!!!

  • KMW08KMW08 member
    Time & grieving. Don't be ashamed of your feelings, it's completely normal to feel like you do. Everybody is different & it takes different amounts of time to process & recover.

    Myself as an example, I'm in a good place most days. But every once in a while it's like being back at square one. There's no rhyme or reason when it hits me. I will say that it does get easier with time. It's hard as hell & you eventually will get back to feeling like yourself.

    BFP#4 3/17/14 - rainbow Baby BOY arrived 11/10/14 !!

    DX: Uterine Septum - Resection 9/5/13 || MTHFR Hetero A1298C || My Chart

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  • kikimeemeekikimeemee member

     "In the meantime of waiting for Feb to come, EVERYONE I see on Facebook, in the mall (where I have a part time job), friends, and now even some family members are prego!!!!  I am having a really hard time being happy for these people right now.  It just upsets me to think that I should be on maternity leave right now!  What is the best way to get over this resentment and be happy for the people.  I know it is such a blessing, but it still hurts."

     

    I am so sorry for your loss and the complicated situation you've been through/are still going through.  I found Xmas cards this year particularly difficult to have one display.  Health babies everywhere ... WHY not for me?!  I tell myself every day not to go on facebook b/c babies are flooding the pages, too, but it's hard to stay away.   I have a friend who is 9 months pregnant and saw her the other day.  I became very angry after I left our lunch together ... I'm not mad AT her by any means, but the site of pregnant women makes me angry.   I hate to say it, but I can't help but think, "why me and not so-and-so?!"   I have my life together, am financially responsible, have a wonderful husband, treat others well and had a MC, but so-and-so lives in debt, is irresponsible, doesn't appreciate her kids...    There's no rhyme or reason to it; it's just plain terrible.  :(   I'm glad to hear you sought out 2nd opinions to get more perspectives.

     

    Also, my sister is due with her second baby a month before I was to be due.   I don't even want to see her anymore b/c it's a reminder of where I was supposed to be (but 3 weeks behind)

     

    I do remind myself that my friends and family are not at fault, but the pain is still there.   Maybe we can try to stay away from Facebook together?  :)   I also find going to work and keeping busy (no babies in my profession!) helps the days go by.

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  • rubylocks7rubylocks7 member
    I feel your pain.  I had my second miscarriage 4 weeks ago and since then I've learned about 2 friends that are pregnant.  I also know several people who were already pregnant, including a co-worker.  The co-worker is doing gender reveal cupcakes at work on Monday.  She knows about my miscarriage, but had been planning to do the cupcakes for awhile...she did them with her first pregnancy too.  I told her that I was cool with it, but I'm seriously dreading it.  Gotta learn how to deal with this kinda stuff at some point, right?  :/
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    TTC since Feb 2013
    BFP #1 EDD Dec 2013 (blighted ovum discovered during u/s on 4/26/13)
    BFP #2 EDD 7/17/14 (SCH, 12/4/13, 7w5d)
    BFP #3 EDD 11/13/14 (chemical pregnancy, 3/14/14, 5w2d)
    Testing done in May 2014, no clear cause for losses.
    BFP #4 EDD 3/26/15 Beta #1 1350 @ 18 DPO. Beta #2 4950 @ 21 DPO.  Ultrasound #1 @ 28 DPO 103 BPM!

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  • amtadloc@yahoo.comamtadloc@yahoo.com member

    Thanks for all the comments.  Since I posted this, I had a big discussion with my young sister-in-law who is prego.  She understands where I am coming from and said that she will try to not upset me.  First, she can't really understand where I am coming from.  She has never had prego issues, she is 21 irresponsible and just unaware of how it really effected me.  But at the same time, I told her that I do not want her and the rest of the family to leave me out of her exciting time since they think I can't handle it.  I told her that I may have to take some time to myself but I am always here for her.  Now I feel like the bitch who is trying to make her pregnancy about myself (the family is really dramatic anyway!)

    One thing I did do that has helped with the Facebook issue was I took her out of my newsfeed.  So now I don't have to see every second that she posts something!  That has really helped.

    Everyone keeps telling me "that it will happen when it is suppose to" and I am trying to believe them, but it is hard.  I really hope that it will happen.  The doctor's don't think there should be issues next time, but I have had issues every time, so they really don't know either.  I have been praying about it too.  So I guess I will just have to keep busy and wait for the rest of January to go by.

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