Deciding on trying for 2nd

Mrs.CJ · January 2014

My husband and I both grew up as only children. Originally we both weren't thinking that we would have a baby, unless there was a surprise. Then later in life (36 yrs) I finally started getting the feeling that we should try and husband also felt the same way. We were blessed with a beautiful baby girl and I LOVE being a mom!! I wish I could kick old me for waiting so long. Now that she is 6 months (and I'm 37) we are deciding if we should have another baby. It's funny to go from thinking I would never have kids to potentially having 2! My husband and I both work and I think we have a flow down for our morning, evenings and weekends with our DD. It just seems from the outside looking in that having 2 (or more) is game changing. That there is a LOT more to it than just managing the needs of one LO.

So I wanting to hear from you, what was it like going from 1 to 2. Was it harder/easier than you expected? Any tips or things you realized along the way? I know that you can't prepare for everything, but I just want to be realistic about this decision that it may be a bigger change than just having our first child, if that makes sense. Thanks!

laura1 · January 2014

I think the answer to this question depends a lot on the personalities involved - both yours and your LOs. For me, going from 0-1 kid was infinitely harder than going from 1-2 kids. But my DS was much more high needs than my DD. DS was not a good sleeper or eater, and constantly wanted to be held. He never napped longer than 45 minutes until he went down to one nap a day at a year old. Having him was truly life changing for me. When DD#1 came along, I was prepared for another one just like him, and she was his polar opposite. Ate well, slept well (STTN at 9 weeks, napped if I just left her alone in her bouncy seat or put her in her crib - didn't need the crazy routine I had with DS), and was just about the happiest baby ever. There was definitely more work involved with 2 kids, but half the time at the beginning you almost forgot she was around!

Going from 2-3 however was as hard if not harder than going from 0-1. Just totally outnumbered all the time, someone always wants something, and there is rarely any down time when all 3 are home (my older 2 no longer nap, but do go to pre-school, so that is something!).

I will say that I love that my kids have each other. My older 2 are so close in age that they don't remember a time when DS was alone. When they go to My Gym class, or get dropped off at school, it is easier on them and on me that they have someone to go with. Lately they are fighting like crazy, but when we go out to a play area, they love having each other to play with and are total BFFs!

Good luck deciding

Mrs.CJ · January 2014

Thanks for sharing that! My DD is how you described your DS (sleeping issues), which I guess has me expecting that again or worse. I guess I didn't consider that it could go the other way and our next baby turns out to be a great sleeper. And I also need to keep remembering that as they get older they would have each other like you said. That would be so cute to see!!

smerka · January 2014

I think you should borrow an older kid (babysit for a friend) to see what managing two is like. Your baby is still very young and not very mobile yet.

rcbuko · January 2014

I will not lie and say that going from one to two was easy peasy. I found it changed my life more than going from 0 to 1. That said, we found our groove quickly enough and we obviously didn't regret it because we are now going in four kids which I never imagined we would ever do. My oldest two have an amazing relationship and even though they fight sometimes, I think they both benefit from having the other around. Having two is sometimes easier in that they entertain each other. I don't have to pay as much attention to them when I cook or try to get other things done around the house, Both DH and I work full time at pretty demanding and stressful jobs. We have good child are which helps and the kids' grandparents are active in their lives. The joys of having two from my selfish standpoint of loving all the baby/little kid cuteness have far outweighed the work and stress of taking care of multiple children.

LovelyLou23 · January 2014

The transition from one to two kicked my butt. But there was so much that changed....DD started really defying me, DH started school again so his nights were spent studying, and DS was a super tough baby (had thrush for the better part of the first two months of his life).

But I agree with PP that it really depends on personalities of both you and the kids. And it has also been really helpful to remember that everything just lasts for a season--the good and the bad. Your kids won't be small forever. It's tough now, but it will probably get easier. Then harder again. But isn't that life? No kids, one kid, two kids, or ten kids?

jf198400 · January 2014

Mine are 18months apart and it wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be. The first year is a challenge b/c of sleep, BFing, pumping, making bottles, etc. but after that it gets way easier. My kids are best friends and entertain each other. I think it's actually easier with 2 kids b/c they always have a playmate.

Deciding on trying for 2nd

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