Have it Your Way

ktbug3000 · January 2014

My daughter was born in 2010 at a regular hospital in the LDR wing. After educating myself on childbirth I knew that I wanted no interventions if possible. I made a birth plan, went over it with my OB before hand, brought copies for the nurses and to have in my delivery room. Everyone involved was very respectful of my wishes and so proud of me afterward. I was very very lucky that it all came off perfectly. I had no idea what to expect though of course. There are so many horror stories out there about what can go wrong and stories about women who are in labor for three hours and then sitting at their dining table have a grilled cheese afterward. First time moms have no idea what to expect when the time actually comes. Of course we all want to do what is best for our baby so if extra monitoring etc is suggested we do it straight away. But, so many times women do things they later learn weren't strictly necessary or could have been done in a different way just because that is standard practice at the hospital. Well, I want to offer my advice to first time mothers, have it your way! If you don't want to have an IV line placed for just case, then don't. If you want to eat and drink then do it, If you dont want to lay on the bed and be strapped to the baby heart monitor then ask the nurse to use a portable device so you don't have to change whatever position is working for you when monitoring time comes around. If you want to wear your own clothes then do it. If you don't want to have the nurses hand up your vagina except when absolutely necessary then tell her so! There is very little (aside from some kind of high risk situation) to stop you from doing things your way. Same way for after the baby comes, if you want the baby placed on your chest right away, or not to have ointment put in its eyes, you can specify all these things to the staff in your birth plan. This is a very special time in a womans life but also the most vulnerable. Do your reading before hand, develop a plan and share it! Having a plan beforehand is essential because you will not be able to articulate your thoughts very well while its going down.

Happy Birthing!

sschwege · January 2014

It sends chills up my spine when I hear women say, "My doctor won't allow XYZ." Bull, you are the patient you must consent (unless of course you are unconscious or something). So I definitely agree with what you have written.

That being said, I think this glosses over the importance of finding a provider who will be supportive, if possible. You want someone who shares your vision for your ideal birth, but also someone who, when things don't go as planned you can trust to make the right call.

Also having people around you who will advocate for you when you need it. I have done a lot of research and know what I want, but when I was in labor I would have had a really hard time speaking up for myself. With my second I arrived at the hospital ready to push. The triage nurse asked me to lay down so she could strap the monitors on me, I asked her to do it with me standing next to the bed. She said, "Oh, let's just get this 20 minutes over with and then you can walk around, get in the bath, whatever you want to do." I just stood there refusing to move, but also refusing to acknowledge her further, because I was beyond being able to really talk. That's when my mother stepped in and said, "Why don't we try it with her standing by the bed?" She even helped the nurse to put the straps around me and of course it worked just fine. I think and some people will disagree, but sometimes you just have to pick your battles because walking into a situation with 'guns blazing' isn't exactly a pleasant atmosphere for anyone. Figure out what is important and what you can let go. My hospital didn't recommend a saline-lock, but if they had I would have agreed to it, not a hill I'm willing to die on. But there were other things I would have gone to battle about if I had to.

So I think to add to what you have written, find a supportive provider if you can, have a strong team with you who understands your wishes, and lastly be flexible, you can plan all you want but in the end you can only control so much.

KateLouise · January 2014

I agree with pp in terms of a supportive provider, because having things your way when you're in labour, isn't always that easy to articulate or speak up over. being in labour isn't like being at the dentist when, generally speaking, you have full control of your thinking and decision making.

But OP, I agree that you don't have to do things because that's what the dr/hospital says is the ways it's done.

wintersong · January 2014

Lol, is it bad that this post makes me want Burger King?

ktbug3000 · January 2014

HAHA. I am finding that it takes almost nothing to give me a obsessive desire for certain foods!

rooftop · January 2014

I agree that there should be effort made to have a supportive doc but ultimately the responsibility is on the woman to inform herself as much as possible.

luvU2theMoon · January 2014

ktbug3000 said:

Same way for after the baby comes, if you want the baby placed on your chest right away, or not to have ointment put in its eyes,

Happy Birthing!

Why would they put oinmtment on the babies eyes? what is it for? that just sounds odd to me.

sschwege · January 2014

luvU2theMoon said:

ktbug3000 said:

Same way for after the baby comes, if you want the baby placed on your chest right away, or not to have ointment put in its eyes,

Happy Birthing!

Why would they put oinmtment on the babies eyes? what is it for? that just sounds odd to me.

It's part of standard newborn care in hospitals. They typically use Erythromycin which is an antibiotic applied to the eyes soon after the baby is born. You've probably seen it in newborn pictures, the skin around their eyes kind of looks glossy. It's really only necessary if the mother has certain STDs, which can cause blindness in the baby. I think they do it routinely as a precaution, just in case the mother contracted an STD after she was tested. So women decide to delay it for a short period of time to allow for bonding, it does temporarily blur the vision, others just decline it altogether. Even though I have never had an STD I still had them do the eye ointment, it didn't seem like a big deal to me and I guess I was paranoid that what if they missed something and I really did have it. I have used Erthromycin on my own eyes, as I said it blurs your vision briefly, but didn't sting or anything.

MamaWombat · January 2014

Depending on the state you are in, you may or may not have the option of declining the eye ointment in hospitals - where I live, nurses are obligated to call child protection services if parents attempt to decline the ointment or certain vaccines.

However, you probably can delay it - the hospital I'm delivering at routinely waits till an hour after birth to carry our vaccines/ointments/other procedures, so as to minimize interference with initial bonding and breastfeeding.

sschwege · January 2014

Depending on the state you are in, you may or may not have the option of declining the eye ointment in hospitals - where I live, nurses are obligated to call child protection services if parents attempt to decline the ointment or certain vaccines.

However, you probably can delay it - the hospital I'm delivering at routinely waits till an hour after birth to carry our vaccines/ointments/other procedures, so as to minimize interference with initial bonding and breastfeeding.

That is a really good point too, while the mother gets final say on any procedure regarding herself, parents don't have the same rights regarding their children. If the doctor doesn't think the parent is acting in the best interest of the child, child protective services will be called. My SIL used to be a pedi in a hospital. Once she had parents threaten to leave with their child before my SIL thought the baby should be discharged. My SIL told the staff if they try to leave with the baby call security. Luckily it didn't come to that, but it could have.

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