Do you have any family members who were AMA?

2redtulips · January 2014

I have been doing pretty well keeping my anxiety about my AMA at bay until this week (we'll be doing our first round of prenatal tests soon, so that must be why). I also start to think about being a parent to a young child in my 40s and hope I have enough stamina!

One of the things that is helping to calm me down, though, is knowing that two of my great grandmothers had children at the age of 45. Granted, they weren't FTMs like me, but they delivered healthy babies in the 1910s in their mid-40s! I find that really comforting and inspiring.

My sister also had her youngest son at age 39 - the same age I will be when I deliver. Also a healthy kid.

Do you have examples among your family or friends of AMA pregnancies that give you inspiration?

Samuelismomma · January 2014

My two aunts had babies at 42 and the one wishes she would have had one more:D she went on the pill! I was raised by my grandparents and I loved it. They had a lot of patience and experience my friends parents didn't have. I was ftm at 39 and will be 42 with this lo...then again because of health issue, I feel younger honestly at 41 than 21...:)

Beachgal72 · January 2014

My great grandma also had her last (which was my grandma) at age 46! And one of my aunts had her first at age 40. It has been comforting for me, too, to think about the others in my family who have had successful pregnancies in their AMA years.

nikkiuk · January 2014

I totally feel your anxiety about being an AMA. I wish I did know someone else who had experience of the situation but I don't and it's kind of lonely.

DTNZ4Ever · January 2014

My Mom was 38 almost 39 when she had my sister. Also my MIL was in her late 30s when she had DH. My cousin was in her late 30s with her son as well.

MommyAtty · January 2014

My grandmothers both had babies when they thought they were going through menopause in their early 40s. It's part of the reason I wasn't too concerned about waiting until I felt emotionally and financially ready to have kids, which wasn't until I was AMA. They both also said they felt they were better parents after they were older. More patient and less stressed out.

Luna C · January 2014

Both my grandmas and several of my aunts and quite a few friends have had healthy, problem-free pregnancies between 35-40. It really isn't as uncommon as the media makes it seem.

I don't mean to minimize the issues facing people who are dealing with IF, but there are plenty of people popping out kids quite late in life without any issues.

olenkapdx · January 2014

My mother was 38 when my sister was born. One of my great grandmothers had all her children (3) after she got married at 37.

springbeduk2 · January 2014

My mother was 36 when she had me; my dad's mother was around 42 when she had him so 35 or 36 when she had her first (my aunt). My mom said there were many other examples of people in our family having kids in their early 40s (great-grandparents' generation and before, i think) but I don't know the details. I think my cousin must have been 38, 39, or 40 she she had her 2nd and her kids are both great; I think they may have had some IF issues especially before their first child (maybe at 34 or 35?) but didn't hear about any complications during pregnancy or delivery or anything.

Clamorel · January 2014

My mum was 40 when she had her third (and last) child. She was 23 when she had me

my MIL was 45 when she had her last child. I am 40 and might try for another after this one depending on hoe everything goes!

QOTR · January 2014

I come from a long line of teen first time moms, so I am definitely an oddball having my first this late. My husband's grandmother had her last child at 40. There were 22 years difference between the oldest and youngest!

2redtulips · January 2014

I love reading these, and I do think the media tends to overemphasize the issues of being AMA without telling the flip side of the story.

For previous generations, I think there's this myth that everyone had all their kids no later than their mid-20s, and that's obviously not true.

dragonfly711 · January 2014

My MIL had my hubby when she was 39. She is going to be 81 this year. She had 6 kids. Hubby was the youngest. His sister before him is 11 yrs older.

I will be 40 and hubby will be 42.

lizok22 · January 2014

I love this! gives me so much hope that AMA is not just a new thing, its been going on for decades! My mom was AMA when she had my sisters-the twins at 38 and my dad was 44. my aunt was 45 when she had her first and only.

jbelle · January 2014

There are few AMA moms in my family, I can think of one aunt who had her first at 36… otherwise, I'm adrift in a sea of "young" motherhood.

However, this also means I have a lot of older relatives who are still alive. Hanging out with my grandparents makes me feel like the youngest mom ever. They still think of me as their wee little granddaughter and act like I'm a spring chicken of a mother-to-be. Love it.

TravelerAlways · January 2014

My mother was 38 or 39 when my sister was born, and my great great grandmother had her youngest at about 45. Women used to do it quite often. I'll be 39 when LO is born (our first) but I don't feel "advanced" in age. I would not have wanted to do this in my 20s.

2redtulips · January 2014

TravelerAlways said:

I'll be 39 when LO is born (our first) but I don't feel "advanced" in age. I would not have wanted to do this in my 20s.

That sums me up as well.

I didn't marry my Mr. Right until age 34 anyway, so I would have been AMA even if we had started trying right away. As it is, I am glad he and I have had a little time together before having a child. I just feel like we're both more ready at this point.

Luna C · January 2014

2redtulips said:

I love reading these, and I do think the media tends to overemphasize the issues of being AMA without telling the flip side of the story.

For previous generations, I think there's this myth that everyone had all their kids no later than their mid-20s, and that's obviously not true.

One thing people overlook about AMA and getting pregnant is this: More people are trying to get pregnant later. Not that long ago, most folks wanted to have their families finished by 30 or so. They weren't trying to get pregnant at 38.

I guarantee a lot of people who are having IF issues now theoretically because they're "old" would've had the same issues if they tried when they were 24. Yes, of course egg quality and reserve drop with age, but it's not automatic and universal. (I say this as someone who got pregnant literally the first time I tried at age 40.)

The other thing that gets overlooked is that a lot of the studies "proving" how hard it is to get pregnant after 35 or 40 are very, very flawed. That info never makes it into mainstream articles on the issue though.

MommyAtty · January 2014

@luna c. Yep! Both times we decided to try, we got pregnant the first month we tried. 38 the first time I delivered. I will be 40 this time. I had friends in their 20s who struggled with infertility.

And as far as the odds of genetic issues, they are still really low. Instead of saying "a gazillion percent increase in odds of genetic problems," why don't they say "299 out of 300 babies will be perfectly healthy," which were my odds at age 38?

aherman2778 · January 2014

I don't have anyone in my family that was AMA but I will be 36 when this baby arrives.

Ear1201 · January 2014

My grandmother had my mom at age 40. She thought she was going through menopause.

FWIW, we tried to conceive since we were married at 29 but it didn't happen for us until I was 34 (my daughter). We had my son when I was almost 36. Now, I am pregnant with my third at 38.

I don't buy into the many flawed studies that say it is more difficult to conceive in your late 30's.

2redtulips · January 2014

MommyAtty said:

And as far as the odds of genetic issues, they are still really low. Instead of saying "a gazillion percent increase in odds of genetic problems," why don't they say "299 out of 300 babies will be perfectly healthy," which were my odds at age 38?

I agree! The scare tactics are really unnecessary.

Krisd6 · January 2014

I am the first in my family to be >35
:-)

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