Has anyone given away a pet since LO?

Burrberrymum · January 2014

I have 2 cats that are very bad lately and it stresses me out on a daily basis. I feel that once you have a pet it's not right just to get rid of it rather than find a solution, but I honestly don't know whether I can handle many more months of this...

Last night I realized one of them peed on my bed, where I sleep with LO. Now I feel like I need to buy a new mattress set because not only did one of them pee on it but one of them tore a hole on the side.

A couple months back our male cat sprayed a basket of LO's clothes which I had to throw out. ( we got him fixed right away once that happened )

They ruin anything and everything, our leather kitchen chairs, our leather couch, they ruined our Christmas tree and peed on it (WTF), they ruined LO's knit booties, knit hat and blanket.. Even though I keep her door closed at all times they manage to snag anything they can and chew it to pieces.. They've peed on our clean clothes before also, we had to throw them out. (Again WTF)

I also feel awful that no matter how often I sweep and vacuum, LO always has cat hair sticking to her drool filled hands and face... Which is not cool.

When they're not being bad they're so cuddly and sweet and lovey, but is that honestly a good reason to keep them? I know I'll feel awful until I adjust and may even feel like a horrible person later on when I miss them but I just can't take this.. I don't understand why they're peeing on things unless it's out of being jealous of LO.

What would you do? Have you been in a similar situation, and how are you adjusting if you had to get rid of your pet?

eyris · January 2014

Your male cat should have been fixed long before he started spraying. Once they learn how to do it they may never stop.

Have you tried adding extra litter boxes? Also cats can pee in places due to medical issues. I would have them checked for UTIs.

Normally I am against declawing but is rather see you do that than put your cats in a shelter. Do you give them things to scratch? I have three that have never clawed my stuff. They have a tower and those cardboard scratchers which they love.

DaisyZH · January 2014

It's hard because I totally get what you're saying but a lot of that is just part of owning cats. I don't necessarily think they're being "bad". Getting your male cat fixed is a great first step, you could talk to your vet for advice and possible checking for urinary issues. For the scratching and chewing could you get them some more toys/scratching posts? I also agree with PP about adding more litter boxes. As far as fur, regular grooming may help but pet hair kind of has a way of getting everywhere. If none of these options appeal to you or help and you're at the end of your rope you could try to re-home them responsibly. See if any friends or family would be willing to welcome them or try Facebook to network for a good person that would be interested. It's a tough situation and good pet homes can be hard to come by, especially for cats that are no longer kittens. Good luck, I hope that with some adjustments maybe you'll be able to keep them with you. No judgment though, I know it's tough.

beckalecka · January 2014

Our cats used to pee on places other than the sandbox. We got two sandboxes and now we clean them out at least twice a day and that seems to have solved our problem. We also have a couple cat tower things for them to claw on and so they never really claw our furniture. We had a leather chair that they scratched when they jumped on the chair. We just don't buy leather furniture for that reason.

renee6465 · January 2014

I haven't, but I have three dogs you can have.

Not really. I'd miss then terribly, but they can be a real pain.

CDMay2006 · January 2014

try these, a new litter box, toys/play time and a scratching option if you don't already have one.
https://www.drsfostersmith.com/product/prod_display.cfm?pcatid=8906

https://www.amazon.com/Precious-Cat-Litter-Attractant-Ounces/dp/B000PKUUU0/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

also consider switching to a high quality wet food (canned or raw).

eyris · January 2014

CDMay2006 said:
try these, a new litter box, toys/play time and a scratching option if you don't already have one.
https://www.drsfostersmith.com/product/prod_display.cfm?pcatid=8906

https://www.amazon.com/Precious-Cat-Litter-Attractant-Ounces/dp/B000PKUUU0/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

also consider switching to a high quality wet food (canned or raw).

Good recommendation. I've used the Feliaway spray with good results when we introduced a new kitten and my older cats were stressed about it.

JLMcWeeney · January 2014

I'm in the same boat, but with two dogs. They drive me nuts. I wouldn't be able to get rid of them though.
One thing I have done is ban them from our bedroom. Lo and I spend most of our time there, and I got so sick of the hair and them trying to sleep in our bed. Since they have been out it has been a big improvement.

sunshine2929 · January 2014

I have 3 cats all with very different personalities. 2 are female and one male. One of my females likes to scratch but we got her a cardboard scratch post that she loves. It makes a big mess but id rather that than anything else getting scratched. My male definitely is more needy. We didn't fix him until last summer and he also sprayed a lot. We decided we had to fix him before LO arrived. The vet told us it would take a few months for it to really be effective and that he could still spray but after a few months the smell would be gone. He was fixed in may of last year and since we moved to our new house in September he has sprayed maybe two or three times, but near the window which tells me he may have seen another cat outside causing it.
My patience has gone down for them too but I still love them and realize that this has been a huge change for them too. I am now trying to give them a little attention every day and they dont act out as much. I agree with pp that the Feliway spray is worth a shot and you definitely need more than one litter box with multiple cats and keep them clean. We scoop ours daily.
If you really cant take them anymore please find them a good homeand not just a shelter where they may end up being euthanized.

Edit: spelling

VitaLuna · January 2014

I know this is a UO, but I think your LO comes first, and if the kitties need to be rehomed, then it is what it is.

(This is also why we didn't get a new cat after we had to put ours to sleep a few years back. I didn't want to have to manage a kitty and an infant, and I knew it wouldn't be "right" to give one up).

LnR70707 · January 2014

Ok...honestly now....NONE of this behavior showed up before LO? As another said, half (if not most) of your problem was not being responsible enough to neuter your pet a long damn time ago. Is the other one fixed?

I've had cats almost as long as I can remember and the strays that were neutered late in life still couldn't be trusted indoors. Are yours solely indoor cats? There seems to be an increasing opinion out there that it is never ok to own outdoor pets but as long as they are loved and have a safe warm spot to sleep I don't see any issue. I don't know how old your cats are but if they've been this destructive this long they are going to do well in getting rehomed from a shelter.

Also, do they have anywhere they can go that is baby free (most of the time at least)? We've got 2 cats and a dog and the cats weren't phased at all when DS arrived. The dog had a major adjustment because DH wouldn't listen to me about changing his behavior long before the baby arrived (you couldn't even kneel on the floor for a second without the dog in your face) but he was never destructive. But our cats could escape to the basement for peace and quiet most of the day so I think that helped them take the new situation on in their own time.

happybride 276 · January 2014

I have two dogs that stress me out every night I am home alone with them and the baby. They irritate me because they are bored and play too rough and at times wake the baby. Having said all that no, I will never get rid of them. I bought them to give them a good home. Things are a bit challenging while my son is so little, but things will get better. I made the commitment to provide for them, so that is what I need to do. My dog's bad behavior issues are my fault and I need to work to find resolutions. Getting rid of them would just force someone else to deal with my issues. Besides I love them deeply and they were my babies before our baby came.

Burrberrymum · January 2014

That's the thing, we talked to the vet he mentioned multiple litter boxes a while back so we got 3 boxes for 2 cats and that definitely helped for a little. They're less than a year old so we just got around to getting the one neutered and so far so good with spraying it's just pee that we smell on whatever it is. He had a general check up when we got his shots done and he was fine apparently.

We have a scratch post for them and they have their own space in the basement as well as little play mice. They for some reason decided to pee on our pool table in the basement, I just don't understand! My boyfriend shows them tons of affection and attention every day too.

It would be really difficult to just give up on them but it's been months of arguing and stress over the cats.. I'm in such a tough position because once they're gone that's it and I would hate to regret my decision.

Burrberrymum · January 2014

@CDMay2006 thank you for those links, it's definitely worth a try!

sunshine2929 · January 2014

LnR70707 said:
Ok...honestly now....NONE of this behavior showed up before LO? As another said, half (if not most) of your problem was not being responsible enough to neuter your pet a long damn time ago. Is the other one fixed?
I've had cats almost as long as I can remember and the strays that were neutered late in life still couldn't be trusted indoors. Are yours solely indoor cats? There seems to be an increasing opinion out there that it is never ok to own outdoor pets but as long as they are loved and have a safe warm spot to sleep I don't see any issue. I don't know how old your cats are but if they've been this destructive this long they are going to do well in getting rehomed from a shelter.
Also, do they have anywhere they can go that is baby free (most of the time at least)? We've got 2 cats and a dog and the cats weren't phased at all when DS arrived. The dog had a major adjustment because DH wouldn't listen to me about changing his behavior long before the baby arrived (you couldn't even kneel on the floor for a second without the dog in your face) but he was never destructive. But our cats could escape to the basement for peace and quiet most of the day so I think that helped them take the new situation on in their own time.

I definitely agree with them needing their own space, especially the male. I found a huge improvement with my cats once we moved to a 2 story house from a bungalow.. they dont fight near as much and are much happier as they always have somewhere to go and be in a quiet place.

CDMay2006 · January 2014

You'll also want to switch out their boxes periodically (at least once a year).
And I'm not an expert, but i do have a fair amount of experience with a cat that hates me

sgautschi · January 2014

happybride 276 said:
I have two dogs that stress me out every night I am home alone with them and the baby. They irritate me because they are bored and play too rough and at times wake the baby. Having said all that no, I will never get rid of them. I bought them to give them a good home. Things are a bit challenging while my son is so little, but things will get better. I made the commitment to provide for them, so that is what I need to do. My dog's bad behavior issues are my fault and I need to work to find resolutions. Getting rid of them would just force someone else to deal with my issues. Besides I love them deeply and they were my babies before our baby came.

This, except I'm home alone with them during the day and there are three of them. I have been really working on correcting their behavior though, and it's already getting better.

EllaBelle2010 · January 2014

I considered having our cat go live with some friends of our because she wouldn't not stop peeing outside of her litter box since we brought LO home. But we have her on kitty prozac now and so far she has stopped. It makes her less anxious so she doesn't act out anymore.

So I'm giving her another chance because I really do love having her. I just can't deal with the unsanitary conditions of cat pee around my house.

If for some reason the kitty prozac stops working then I'll have to rehome her. At least I know it'll be to a good loving home.

blondii428 · January 2014

@burrberrymum I could have written this post myself! I have two cats that also have terrible behavior and stress me out on a daily basis.

The peeing is the biggest problem. I always keep our bedroom door closed but maintainence accidently locked my male in there on Monday and he peed ALL over the bed. They also peed in the dogs pee basket for over 3 months, ruining all of his toys and turned the carpet underneath an awful green that won't come out. And they pee on the laundry room mat every single day. Oh and periodically on our couch. If you haven't already, try getting a gallon of Nature's Miracle because it's the only thing that I've found to even come close to removing the smell. I also second the recommendation for the Cat Attract powder, the problem was worse before getting that.

I finally battled the scratching by getting a good scratching post and regularly applying cat nip to it, as well as spraying our stuff with deterrent. The carpet posts do nothing, you have to get one completely wrapped in sisal rope--and tall!

Every day I get closer and closer to wanting to rehome them, but I know that my conscious could never ever let it go. Like someone said before, when I adopted them I made a lifetime committment to take care of them. Good luck, I hope we can both find a solution to be able to live with our kitties in peace!

PrettyInPearls23 · January 2014

I rehomed one of my cats when DS1 was around 2 years old. The cat was fine with DS1 when he was a baby, but once he started walking, talking and just generally being loud about everything he did, it stressed my cat out. She'd pee on anything left on the floor and spent all of her time in our basement (which was a cellar/"Michigan basement" style) since there was a cat door to get down there and she could hide from him. She started losing her hair and licking it bald in places because she was so stressed out. It just wasn't a good quality of life for her.

I was sad to say goodbye to her, but I knew she deserved a home where she could relax and be her happy self. I keep in touch with her new owner and my old cat is doing great!

Burrberrymum · January 2014

@blondii428 thanks for the tips! I'm glad I'm not the only one but I'm sorry you've been dealing with the same stress, it's awful!

I'm gonna try the suggestions mentioned and hope for the best.. Now I'm worried about when she starts walking and running after them.. They've always hated kids.. My male cat will hiss at my friends son and my nieces when they come over and the female will hide for HOURS until she thinks they're gone.

Oh the joys of raising pets

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