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Any Other First Time Moms Out There Adopted?

naturaloaklandmamanaturaloaklandmama member
in 2nd Trimester
So my family is my family and I could not love them more despite the fact that we share no blood. This has never been an issue for me and I consider being adopted the greatest blessing that has occured in my life, which happened just hours before I was born (my adopted dad was the ER doc in the hospital where my 15 year old biological mom was taken by her parents who had no idea she was pregnant only to discover that she was giong into labor, my dad and my mom had been looking to adopt and ended up signing private adoption papers then helping to deliver me and ultimately bring me home). However, several years ago I realized that if and when I have a child of my own, it will be the first blood relative I have ever met. It gives me goosebumps every time I think about how magical and meaningful that is. I would have adopted if I couldn't have my own as I know its the most wonderful thing you can bestow on a child and there was truly no difference between my brother (who is my parent's biological child) and I. And yet, it makes the birth of my first baby in a few months that much more wonderful. Any other first time moms out there going to experience the same thing?
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Re: Any Other First Time Moms Out There Adopted?

  • WashingtonQueenWashingtonQueen member
    I am not adopted however I have two adopted sons. Your story is beautiful and I'm glad you are happy with your life and adoption. I have heard so many stories of adopted children having an extremely rough time coming to terms with it when they are teens. It is something I worry about.
    Congratulations on your pregnancy and I wish you all the best!!
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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    Not currently pregnant, but I am adopted. I have a twin-- so we have grown up a packaged deal together. However, I understand some of what you feel.


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  • MaladroitMaladroit member
    I'm adopted and currently pregnant with my first.  I'll be 16 weeks tomorrow.  I completely know how you feel.  It's weird because my mom has never had a bio kid and doesn't get what I'm going through.  I can tell it's awkward for her since she's my mom but has no knowledge of pregnancy, but she's trying so hard to be there for me.  This was an IVF baby and we tried for 3 years.  I was so worried that I'd never have that blood connection or anyone that looks or acts like me.  It's such a good feeling that I'm reminded of every day.  I love this baby SO much already and I think it means so much more because this baby really is the ONLY bio relative to me...it's hard to put into words how much that means.  I hear you completely!
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  • laguatemaltecalaguatemalteca member

    My husband and I are both transracial adoptees. We talk about this A LOT. I totally relate to what you're feeling! For us, it feels extra special not only to have that blood connection but to have more Latinos in our family. There was a book that came out called Parenting as Adoptees (not sure if you've heard of it?). It talks about the unique experience of parenting as an adopted person. Feel free to check it out! https://parentingasadoptees.com/ There are some excerpts from the book on this website. 

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  • NuclearcupcakeNuclearcupcake member
    I was adopted at birth and felt that way when I had my first. I also felt that way with my second. Now I'm pregnant with my 3rd and I have found my birth mom and her side of the family so I get to go through pregnancy with all of them as extra support which is also exciting. I really got close with my MIL during my pregnancies because my mom has never gone through pregnancy and birth which was also cool.
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  • naturaloaklandmamanaturaloaklandmama member
    I LOVE hearing these stories and so glad to hear that others are as moved by this realization as I am. Its so true -- the thought of looking at someone and seeing yourself must be special to every parent but to be able to do this as an adopted child who has never had that experience with their own family, all the more amazing. And WashingtonQueen, I have had a lot of adopted friends who came at it from a perspective of abandonment but for me I always looked at it (except for a period in the middle junior high years when everyone is looking for something to struggle about) as not about being rejected but as about being chosen by my adopted family. My parents have drilled that into me since I was little and I learning I was adopted was one of my first memories (my brother teased me that I didn't get out of mommy's tummy, which she confirmed then went on to tell me that they chose me, etc. etc.). And @laguetemalteca, I am definitely going to check out that book! That's so great. Who knew there was a whole book for us?! Love it. 
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  • mgudabmgudab member
    I'm adopted and pregnant with my first. I have some of the same feelings as you. I still find myself in disbelief at times that I am pregnant! It's also very exciting for my mom since she's never been pregnant. She's going to come to my next ultrasound this Saturday. I'm so happy to be able to share the whole experience with her.
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  • laguatemaltecalaguatemalteca member
    I am not adopted however I have two adopted sons. Your story is beautiful and I'm glad you are happy with your life and adoption. I have heard so many stories of adopted children having an extremely rough time coming to terms with it when they are teens. It is something I worry about. Congratulations on your pregnancy and I wish you all the best!!
    Not sure if you've read this book, but it's AWESOME! 20 Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew Adoption complexities can arise throughout an entire lifetime, not just adolescence...as this thread is pointing out :-) I truly appreciate the fact that you are thinking about your sons' experiences. If they have questions along the way, your openness will be a great support for them!
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  • Gia62Gia62 member
    I'm also adopted. I was adopted 15 days after birth. I have four biological sister. I recently got in touch with two but rarely speak to them.
    My younger brother was also adopted. If I couldn't have gotten pregnant I for sure would have adopted.
    I am so excited to grow with a baby of my blood and see the similarities! It's going to be a tough and beautiful adventure!
    It's so nice to see there are are so many other adopted woman =)
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  • Gia62Gia62 member
    mgudab said:

    I'm adopted and pregnant with my first. I have some of the same feelings as you. I still find myself in disbelief at times that I am pregnant! It's also very exciting for my mom since she's never been pregnant. She's going to come to my next ultrasound this Saturday. I'm so happy to be able to share the whole experience with her.

    My mother who adopted me also couldn't have kids so she's loving every bit of my preganancy! I took her to an ultrasound and she was so amazing. It was precious! I too am so happy to be able to share my preganancy with her too.
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  • sxymamakatsxymamakat member
    I'm adopted and this is my first pregnancy that is going well.  :-)  I know absolutely nothing useful about my birthmom (other than her being 15 and having no idea who my birth father was).  I have an older brother (my parent's bio child) but no blood relatives.  My family has always been VERY weird about my past history and to this day keep the files in a locked drawer.  My mom wouldn't give any information to give me a chance to find my birthparents- I think she felt threatened.  It wasn't until I was at my ultrasound when I had a complete meltdown moment, realizing that this will be the first blood relative I'll meet in my lifetime- it's still a crazy intense thought, and I haven't expressed it to my boyfriend yet, as I'm still wrapping my own head around it! 
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  • camanaecamanae member
    I was adopted at 4 months, and I'm 17 weeks pregnant. I wasn't trying to conceive, but sometime last year, I started thinking about it more. I realized I definitely wanted kids, cause I really wasn't sure when I was younger (I'm 28 now), and that was also when I made the same connection about him/her being the first blood relation. I can't wait to see the little one. As much as I love my parents and appreciate what they did for me, I never felt the same bond. I know my adopted brother feels the same way, whereas my other 2 brothers who are biological do not. It's hard to explain, but it's definitely different. It's scary sometimes, thinking about the genetic unknowns. My adoptive father had cancer and Alzheimer's runs in his family, and my mom has diabetes, so it's hard not to know what could be lurking.
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  • missyrissymissyrissy member
    I am adopted (3 days) and have always LOVED it!  My parents wanted me so bad it was nice to know that if someone couldn't take care of me as a Mom, I have the perfect one to forever call my MOM (and Dad of course!)  They have been absolutely wonderful throughout my life and let me know all the time how loved I truly am.  This is my first pregnancy and all I remember thinking is how difficult it is not knowing any genetic issues that may arise (I have no medial background from my biological side that anyone is aware of), or pregnancy type I would have.  I NEVER thought of the fact that for the first time, I WOULD be meeting a blood relative!  This blew my mind and it is still hard to wrap my head around!  Thanks for opening my eyes to the wonderful part of my pregnancy!  I can't thank everyone enough on this discussion!  Yay!
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  • Jentech84Jentech84 member
    I'm not adopted, although I have an adopted uncle & cousin.
    Reading your stories brought me to tears! It must be a truly amazing realization to have your first known blood relative. I wish you all the best & enjoyment of the occasion :)

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  • xinightingalexinightingale member
    Wow, I never thought about that before!  My husband is adopted and knows nothing about his birth parents.  I think I'm more curious about them than he is.  I can't wait to share this thought with him!
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