EDD.. What to do?

neptunebljc · January 2014

Wednesday is my EDD for Bean and my grief counselor said I definitely need to do something special. I was thinking of maybe planting some flowers for him(in a pot of course). I'm not really sure what else to do. We don't have a plot for him or anything. He sits on our bookshelf in his Urn.

I just feel like it isn't enough. Or maybe I should try to include other family members too?

Any ideas or suggestions?

It can't be anything much either way since money is tight until I can find a new job. But I do want to do something.

kflynn81 · January 2014

Maybe you can bake him a cake or cupcakes

stefuge · January 2014

For our EDD we both took the day off work, and planned a few fun things to do together as a family. In the morning we took a balloon to the park and wrote love notes on it for Colton and then let it go. We then went to a movie in the afternoon and to dinner that night. Nothing too crazy or emotional, but I knew I needed to do something and it was nice that part of the day was specifically about him but not all of it. We took photos of the whole day (I blog so I wanted to have those to remember) as well as photos of the sunrise and sunset. The sunrise/sunset photos were very poignant because the day started cloudy and overcast and ended with a beautiful sunset as the clouds cleared. It felt like God was giving us a glimpse of beauty, and Colton was smiling down on us, as we made it through a very difficult day.

Edited to add: I'll be thinking of you Wednesday and hope the day isn't too difficult. ((Hugs))

angelsnight · January 2014

Ticker warning

Our close family and friends met us at the cemetery (you could do it in your yard or a park) and did a balloon release (we wrote messages on the balloons with sharpies). Afterward we went back to our house and had a BBQ. It was the perfect way to honor our daughter and was also something I looked forward to instead of dreading the day. It was nice to be surrounded by the people that love and support us.

neptunebljc · January 2014

Do you find you celebrate the day your baby was born or the EDD?

I just don't want to not to something special and then regret it. Boy this is so difficult

DH seemed surprised I wanted to do anything on our EDD, because he said it wasn't his birthday.

stefuge · January 2014

I don't know that we will celebrate the anniversary of his EDD every year - but I wanted to do something on the EDD this year. I feel like for the future, we will celebrate his birthday. But after hearing the date and telling people the date for so many months - there was no way it could pass without being a hard day, and I needed to do something for him on that day. That was how I felt at least.

jonahsma · January 2014

I have pondered this myself,,, How about writing baby Bean a letter, lighting a candle, having dinner with Dh and releasing balloons? I will be thinking of you ((hugs))

jbranden12 · January 2014

We ended up going on a mini road trip over Patricia's EDD. It was nice to reconnect with DH and it was on that trip that we decided we were ready to start trying for our rainbow as soon as my doctor cleared us.

I also want to add, please don't let anyone make you feel like you HAVE to do something special. You do what feels right for you. Nothing you do changes how much you love him.

OSUWifey09 · January 2014

***SIGGY***

We lost Devon about five weeks before his EDD, so I did celebrate his EDD the first time around by writing him a letter and spending some time alone to focus on him. I'll admit that while I do remember his EDD, I didn't do anything on that day this year - I'm not sure we'll do something special every single year because we do have his angelversary [which is when we do cake, candles, letters, balloon releases etc.].

No matter what you decide to do, there is no right or wrong here. I can definitely see wanting to do something on Bean's EDD - something as simple as lighting a candle or writing a letter could be done. No matter what you do, Bean will know you love him and are thinking of him. **hugs**

Noethola · January 2014

***Siggy warning***

We did something the first year to mark the EDD. This year, we did our tradition on the angelversary, though you still remember the EDD, it doesn't hold as much importance as it did the first year.

We went to a park that we both loved and walked around on the trails. Its the park we got engaged in, got married in and wanted to take her some day. So we did that. We looked through her pictures and memory box, and shared memories of the pregnancy. I wrote a letter to put in her box.

Do anything you want to. Dont let someone tell you to either celebrate it or not. You have to do what is best for you. Its part of the grieving process. Thinking of you today and tomorrow.

angelsnight · January 2014

neptunebljc said:

Do you find you celebrate the day your baby was born or the EDD?
I just don't want to not to something special and then regret it. Boy this is so difficult

DH seemed surprised I wanted to do anything on our EDD, because he said it wasn't his birthday.

Ticker warning

For this first year, we celebrated the EDD and we will also celebrate her angelversary when she was born. The EDD was so significant last year because it was the day we had been looking forward to, and expecting her. But in the future, we'll focus on her angelversary. I know I will take notice of her EDD, and probably go to the cemetery that day, but it won't be the major day we celebrate.

neptunebljc · January 2014

Thanks for all the advice.

My grief counselor is worried that I'm not taking any steps towards greiving. I didn't do anything for our other losses and she is worried that I will "overlook" this day to in order to not deal with my grief. In a way I understand what she means, and I do agree sometimes as well. I do want to do something.

I think I am really over thinking it as well.

Thanks so much! I really do love all of your help!!

neptunebljc · January 2014

Today does mean something. I don't want it to, but it does.

I do think that in the future though I will only celebrate Sept 7, because that is his birthday. Although it was only for 8 minutes, he was still here and alive.

I did get flowers for my B and SIL which was so unexpected. DH and I had a beautiful breakfast together after going to the gym.

We plan on having dinner tonight and planting some bulbs which will go out in Bean's spot in the garden. I also have decided that I am going to write Bean a letter which I will put in his memory box.

I also want to thank everyone on this board. I really don't think I would be able to deal with my grief if it wasn't for your support. Grief is so overwhelming and your support is just as overwhelming. It warms my heart to know that at any time of day I could post on this board and someone will have kind words of support.

You really have been my life support.

Thank you!

stefuge · January 2014

I hope you have a good day!

CRUN2012 · January 2014

Thinking of you today and tonight! I'm glad you feel so supported and comforted by sharing! Hugs!!! ♡♥

jonahsma · January 2014

Thinking of you today ((hugs))

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