Community› The Bump Month Clubs› May 2014 Moms
May 2014 Moms
New Discussion

Debacle of a morning and a WWYD

IBackBevoIBackBevo member
in May 2014 Moms
So this morning has been a debacle. I had a first appointment with a doula...A consult to see if I wanted to hire her. Today is my day off, but I had to get myself ready, get DS ready, fed and off to daycare (in the opposite direction from where I was going) and drive 45 minutes to the appointment. When I first made the appointment, I had thought from her website she was a lot closer, but when I mapquested it, it was further than I thought...which was a bit of a bummer. But I already had the appointment and she was my top choice.

Well, DS was up half the night so I was exhausted and I had horrible diarrhea. Because I was trying to get away and kept having to run to the bathroom, DH had to get DS ready which resulted in him running late, too...which is horrible for him and will make his day more difficult as a doctor. I finally get out the door, drop DS off at daycare, drive 30+ minutes in traffic and am only 5-10 minutes from her office when I notice I have a missed call. The doula had called about 10 minutes earlier and said she was in a birth and she thought it was going to wrap up before our appointment, but now it wasn't. Ugh!!!! I had such a stressful morning for nothing.

Also, it annoys me a little that she waited until the very last minute to cancel. If the woman had just gone into labor, I would have gotten that, but it seems like to me she could have at least given me a heads up that she might not make the appointment. Women are in labor awhile. Now I am wondering if between the distance and this if I should cross her off my list...or should I just say, "Eh. It is what it is. It comes with being a doula." Thoughts?

I really do "get" that births aren't planned so I usually am one to cut someone a lot of slack...I am not a ftm. But it also takes 5 seconds to send a text and it is not like a doula is the one actually physically delivering the baby like an OB is.
IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
image
image
Report Reply to Post

Re: Debacle of a morning and a WWYD

  • pandadairpandadair member
    Ewww, I would be annoyed, too. You're definitely right that she should have at least texted about the possibility far more in advance. Also, 45 mins, to me, is too far here. I guess it depends on where it is and how you get there. Would she have a long drive to visit you and/or to where you will be delivering? I just hate driving here. Which is funny, because by our due date we will be living very central and still delivering in this area.
    image

    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • Bootsie327Bootsie327 member
    I'd probably cross her off the list, esp with the distance factor, too. Like you said, births take time, and she could have warned you earlier!

    Mommy to my sweet boy, JG, born May 15, 2014

    Baby #2 due 4/26/16!

    Report Reply
  • kat8805kat8805 member
    I'd be annoyed with dingledoula but thrilled I had a day to myself. Go get some pampering lady. Catch some z's while someone beautifies your feet  ;)
    imageimageimage




    Report Reply
  • 83edwards83edwards member
    What distinguishes this doula from your second choice? Is that more important than the combination of distance and this incident.

    Also, I do think she could have let you know ALOT sooner.....but, maybe something unforeseen came up during the birth....

    I don't know that I would just cross her off, since she was your first pick. Maybe give her one more chance to meet with you and then decide :)

    Sorry for the frustration....especially on your day off!
    image
    Report Reply
  • IBackBevoIBackBevo member
    @pandadair - She is between 290 and I 10 near west road not too far from 1960/hey 6. I am near Kuykendahl. I have to drive down 1960 which suuuuucks due to traffic and lights.

    I will probably deliver at Texas Children's in the med center. It actually only takes me about 35 minutes to get there because I can take the hot lane. Her website said she was in North Houston, but really she is more in West Houston.
    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

    May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
    image
    image
    Report Reply
  • LUCKY22LUCKY22 member
    I think I would move on to your next choice in fear that this is a good indication of what you can expect in the future. It's not that she had someone in labor, it was simply inconsiderate to not inform you earlier.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    image
    Report Reply
  • IBackBevoIBackBevo member
    LUCKY22 said:

    I think I would move on to your next choice in fear that this is a good indication of what you can expect in the future. It's not that she had someone in labor, it was simply inconsiderate to not inform you earlier.

    That is sort of how I feel. I am totally ok with her canceling, but it seems like she could have done it sooner or given me a heads up she might need to cancel.

    Plus, her tone just seemed flippant in her message.
    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

    May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
    image
    image
    Report Reply
  • Themetastic Themetastic member
    I would be annoyed and turned off.. and say eff it and look elsewhere.
    image
    BabyFruit Ticker

    Report Reply
  • kristine526kristine526 member
    Boo. I'd be annoyed too. Off to choice #2 for sure.
    Anniversary
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • dogsombrerodogsombrero member
    While it isn't the doulas fault you had a lot going on this morning calling to cancel with 10 minutes notice is crap. She definitely could have pushed your appointment back by a few hours to cover the birth which would've kept you from having the morning drama. I'd put her at the bottom of the list and if she wants to reschedule the appointment she can drive to you. Sorry if this is harsh on her but as a small-business owner I really hate it when people pull that crap.
    Report Reply
  • Nikkidoll15Nikkidoll15 member
    I would be annoyed but I personally would probably go ahead and meet with her because she may end up bein exactly what you had hoped for. I'm all for giving people the benefit of the doubt so I would see how your next interaction goes. Good Luck!
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
  • jane8188jane8188 member

    At first I thought nope I would cross her off the list, but then I thought maybe she was so caught up in supporting the woman in labor she totally lost track of what was going on. I would maybe give her one more chance, if she does something else that makes you feel like this I would say for sure skip her.

    Report Reply
  • IBackBevoIBackBevo member
    I think I am going to reschedule with her for a few weeks from now and cancel if I find someone between now and then. I am going to an ICAN meeting tomorrow so maybe I will meet someone there. I have a trial set for the two week docket starting next week anyway so I really won't have time next week or the following week.

    I don't begrudge the lady canceling. I just think it could have been done with more notice or a heads up of the possibility.
    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

    May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
    image
    image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"