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Starting Sleep Training- HELP!!!

FunkyPhoenixFunkyPhoenix member
in June 2013 Moms
(I know some of this has been discussed so apologies for any duplicate conversation but  I figured we might be further along into this and have some new experiences to share...)

Well after a huge blow out argument with MH last night over just plain CIO versus sleep training, he insists that we begin doing something TODAY. Apparently it's up to me as to what or how we do it, but must begin tonight. I already have Ben pretty well trained during the day that I can put him down for naps in his crib, he will fuss for a few minutes and then go to sleep. Night time is a completely different story, though, and he pretty much has always been that way. He fights it sooooo hard. Physically twists in my arms and pushed off of me, digs his head into me, whines and cries, etc. If we just let him lay in his crib he screams bloody murder whereas most times when I hold him and rock him or walk him he fusses and fights until he wears himself down but doesn't scream. He always has to fight it out- Even during the days. This is why I started giving him a blanket to sleep with- so he can wrestle with it a bit. No matter what time we start bedtime routine, we go through this. Anyway, MH has had enough of this plus all the night time wakings (and obviously I could use some sleep as well) so we mutually decided to begin sleep training -after once again explaining the difference in this versus flat out CIO for endless amounts of time. My questions are:

1. What has been the most effective method of sleep training for you?

2. Does it matter when you start it? He is just cutting a tooth and on an antibiotic for fluid in his ear- do these kind of things matter as far as starting sleep 
training? Should I wait?

3. What about MOTN feedings? He still eats once on average and lately has jumped back up to two. I feel that he needs at least one (MH disagrees) because he sucks it down so fast and since being on an antibiotic doesn't quite eat as much during the day. Where do I start with all this? Per most people, including the pediatrician, he should be eating enough during the day but I have a really hard time cutting out food if he is hungry. What say you?? 
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Re: Starting Sleep Training- HELP!!!

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  • llbta85llbta85 member
    edited January 2014

    I do a modified CIO, basically just listen to her tone and when it escalates I intervene.  If I start to put her down for the night and it escalates quickly I take her out play with her for a little bit and then start again.  Now if she has been asleep for like an hour and a half and wakes up I won't take her out of her room, once she's in the living room or my room she really wakes up. 

    I would hold off on doing anything drastic while he is cutting teeth, its difficult enough without having to deal with teething pain. Hopefully the teething will subside soon so I would think your husband can chill another day or two.  As for the antibiotic I wouldn't think that has too much impact unless he's experiencing side affects.

    I would tackle one issue at a time.  So either wean the MOTN feedings or work on the sleep training.  If he is sucking bottles down at night it would seem like he is legitimately hungry so if you are sleep training I would feed.  I still feed DD in the MOTN (if its been more than 3 hours since the last feed), most of the times she is hungry.  DS was like this until he was around 10 months. 

    ETA: I just saw your comment about him starting DC next week, there are a lot of changes going on for him.  Honestly I would wait and if that means you take all the MOTN feeds then so be it.  I have always done MOTNs with both children so I know it can be tough, but sometimes its what is best for LO.

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  • ColieAnn31ColieAnn31 member
    I'll be following this. I don't know how well sleep training will go for us since his crib is in our room and we sit in there at night and stuff. I'll probably have to move his crib back to his room which makes me sad but the boy needs to sleep better at night!
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  • t loves rt loves r member
    1. A modified pick up put down method worked for us, but I hear it doesn't work for some babies. I would wait 15 minutes before going to him and when I did, I would pick him up and soothe him (no nursing) and once he was calm for 2-3 minutes, lay him back down. Repeat whole process til he was back asleep.

    2. I might wait til he is off his antibiotic and you know he is feeling more himself.

    3. Everything I have come across suggests at this age, one middle of the night feeding is expected. Especially until solids are really a big part of their in take. I still feed my LO once a night if he wakes up. But, I've noticed lately he slowly going til 4 or 5 am without waking up to eat and sometimes sleeps through the night without waking. I would keep one motn feeding if I were you.

    GL!
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  • ilovemarfailovemarfa member
    I'd personally wait until he is feeling better. Ds1 has been on antibiotics a few times in his 3 years for ear infections and I have found that even the antibiotics can make him sleepless or just feel yucky. He usually will get diarrhea when he takes them. Being sick will also disrupt sleep, especially when it is an ear infection.
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  • NicoleReed0324NicoleReed0324 member
    I wish I had more advice. We had a horrible night last night. After I totally thought we had mastered the crib sleeping (3 whole days haha) he was awake 10-1. My husband took 10-11 and handed a crying baby over to me (woke me up) Did I mention he's off today and I leave the house at 6AM?

    I don't let him cry too hard. I try to soothe him while I stand next to the crib without picking him up. But if he gets super crazy I pick him up. Last night as soon as I picked him up, he fell asleep and let me lay him down. I committed to not letting him back in our bed, so hopefully he falls in love with his crib soon. Good luck!!
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  • TheTamedShrewTheTamedShrew member
    This is what we did: https://www.troublesometots.com/how-to-cry-it-out-bedtime-edition/

    I never wanted to try CIO, but we did this and after only two nights she sleeps 10-12 hours straight. The important thing is that they fall asleep on their own and the scene they see when they fall asleep is identical to the scene when they wake up (no mommy or daddy, nursing/rocking, timed music).

    We never let her cry longer than 15 minutes without going in and shush patting, but honestly she ended up crying longer because we went in. The first night took about an hour (this was the hardest night, but you can get through it). Second night about a half hour. Third night about 10 minutes. Now it's five minutes of fussing (no screaming), tops.

    If putting him down is getting harder, you have multiple night wakings, and you are pretty sure it's not teething or sickness, then you most likely have an object permenance problem. Although CIO is tough, I believe our babies are now old enough to learn to fall asleep on their own. I think it is better for them in the long term to be able to get good, restful sleep. I'm telling you, it was a bloody miracle.

    Also, it's fine to nurse/rock to sleep for naps and MOTN feeds and it won't mess up sleep training. The important thing is that they put themselves to sleep at BEDTIME.
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  • MaelaraMaelara member
    I'll be watching this as well. N kept me up for hours last night and then got up early this morning. She goes to bed fine but after her MOTN feeding, she has a hard time falling back to sleep. Coffee injection please!

    @nykkolaughs I really, really like your routine. I know you've talked about it before but I seriously had a light bulb moment with putting N to sleep on her tummy. Thank you :)
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  • numbersgirl08numbersgirl08 member
    I agree with everyone about holding off on "sleep training" until he is feeling better and not cutting a tooth.  He needs your comfort during these times if he's upset.

    However, I think you can start with night weaning.  I've suggested it before, but what I've read is to come up with an average amount of time he nurses each time he wakes up and average wake up time.  Each time he wakes up to nurse, decrease it by a couple of minutes, so that he is slowly transferring his milk intake to the daytime.  Once you get down to no minutes then don't offer to nurse at that time anymore and only offer snuggles.

    What worked for us regarding "sleep training" is a form of CIO.  We put her down and then checked in on her every 5 or so minutes.  We avoided picking her up because that would make it worse for her.  The first night we did this she cried for an hour, and it was heartbreaking, but I kept going in there to let her know I was here and I loved her.  And then after that she could sleep.  And I could tell that she learned her methods for self soothing because I see her do them now and she didn't use to (she sucks on her two middle fingers and puts her head down on the side when she needs to soothe herself).  We also try to make sure she gets around 3 hrs of nap time every day to keep her from being overtired and fatigued, and we try for at least hour long naps so that they are productive.  Granted, this doesn't always happen, but it's a goal at least.  

    I also think that sleep training while starting daycare isn't necessarily a bad idea.  It's a big change, going to daycare, but it might be a good time to get him used to his new sleep habits all at once.  
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  • WasNotWasWasNotWas member
    Acrosthec each and every tooth is different. It sucks...and it lasts well into year 2
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  • TheTamedShrewTheTamedShrew member
    From what I've read, cutting teeth should only cause discomfort for a few days. Regardless, there is never going to be a perfect time for sleep training. We just did it and E is cutting her second tooth and still sleeping great, although extra fussy/clingy during the day. Unless he's sick, I would say go for it. I only say this because I blamed poor sleep on teething for almost a month, and looking back I'm pretty sure that wasn't the issue. If you really think he's mid tooth-cutting, give some tylenol or ibuprofen before bedtime. I think sleep training will be even more difficult if you wait til they are in the throes of seperation anxiety (8-9 months). Just my .02
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  • Nix55Nix55 member
    1. What has been the most effective method of sleep training for you? I Ferberized my LO, and it has been awesome. I used this Website to help since I was too cheap to buy the book. https://noobmommy.com/2008/11/to-ferberize-or-not-to-ferberize.html
    She was sleeping through the night by the second night. She also never cried more than 12 minutes total. I was shocked. It is not awful.

    2. Does it matter when you start it? He is just cutting a tooth and on an antibiotic for fluid in his ear- do these kind of things matter as far as starting sleep 
    training? Should I wait? I would not start if he is actively teething or on antibiotics. HELL NO.

    3. What about MOTN feedings? He still eats once on average and lately has jumped back up to two. I feel that he needs at least one (MH disagrees) because he sucks it down so fast and since being on an antibiotic doesn't quite eat as much during the day. Where do I start with all this? Per most people, including the pediatrician, he should be eating enough during the day but I have a really hard time cutting out food if he is hungry. What say you?? If your LO is getting 25-30 oz then he doesn't need the food at night. If you are still feeling concerned, you can start by cutting his night feeds into shorter nursing times or less oz if FF. I cut my LO down to 2 oz, and she was fine. This also showed me that she really didn't need those nighttime feeds, or she would've been crying for more. As soon as I knew she was eating enough, not sick, and not actively teething (inflamed gums came and went), I Ferberized her. She hasn't STTN in 4 months until this week.
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  • Nix55Nix55 member
    I just read that Ben will be starting daycare next week. My guess is this alone will help him sleep at night due to the increased daytime stimulation
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  • PinkPuffyHeart2PinkPuffyHeart2 member
    I didn't read everyone's responses but if this helps at all... My LO used to only sleep if my boob was in her mouth. I've started removing myself from her right before she zonks out and shooshing/patting her if she gets upset. 9x out of 10 she will fall asleep and stay that way, and isn't left to CIO. If she gets very upset I replace the boob and try again in a minute to remove myself. The only times we struggle with sleep is if she is just plain not tired.... Then she will cry if I try to even rock her or nurse her because she wants to play. So in those cases I just let her play then try again a little later. I personally don't feel comfy weaning from night nursing either if she needs it... I try to just rock her to sleep if she wakes in the MOTN but if she doesn't fall asleep easily I nurse her. I'm not sure if that helps but that's what I do!

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