Claiming foster children on taxes (and update on the girls)

msditz00 · January 2014

It turns out that DCF workers, even those who are assigned to support foster families, don't have many answers to somewhat simple questions. I asked about training we are supposed to be doing - our SW acted like I asked him to figure out the square root of 2,432,524. I then asked if we should be claiming the girls on our taxes. He told us you can't do that.

Well we knew that wasn't the right answer, since on all the tax sites it says you can. Then the girls' social worker called me and told me that while foster parents CAN claim their children, it wasn't ethical for us to since we got them Dec 2. She seemed really miffed that we would ask, and made sure to include "Well I don't even have their SSN". SSN should be something DCF is getting for the girls anyhow, so I don't know why that would even be an issue. The girls went straight from the hospital to our home. So technically nobody else CAN claim them. And according to the IRS.gov website, we can. So now I am really irritated that, when I asked a legal question, my ethics were questioned. The children qualify as dependents. Somebody gets to claim them. Why is it unethical for the people raising them to do that?

I am awaiting a call back from a tax accountant, but just wanted to hear what your experiences were. Did DCF willingly give you the children's SSN?

On another note, the girls' mom showed up at court last week. She told the judge she is going to rehabilitate herself and wants her daughters back. Her lawyer requested "liberal" visitation due to the girls' age (2 months). The judge is the same one that TPR'd the last child, and was NOT giving mom any slack. She denied visitation. But DCF is legally obligated to show they are trying for reunification, so the girls' caseworker told mom she could have weekly visits (mom has had biweekly visits through DCF since we had the girls, but has never actually shown up). Now that mom has surfaced (twice that week, she showed up at DCF the day before court to talk to the SW), I am a nervous wreck. The chance of her getting the girls is incredibly slim (7 TPRs have already happened), but she is throwing names out of people that want to take the girls in. I don't know what to think at this point. I'm just a wreck. I thought visits were starting last week, and spent Thursday morning crying at the thought of handing the girls over for a visit to someone who doesn't even know who is Jules and who is Liz. BM tried to tell the SW she was bringing help with her, since she can't handle twins. Their SW told her she had to figure it out, and won't allow her to bring others. Which is good, she needs to see what it is like when TWO babies need you at the same time.

As far as dad goes - the paper in charge of putting the ad out for dad to attend court put 2013 instead of 2014. So court couldn't hold him accountable to be there. Which is beyond frustrating. Did he really think a court date was held last year for his daughters who hadn't even been conceived yet?!? And BM says he didn't sign the birth certificates because he forgot ID the day they were born. Because ya know actually getting ID and being on your kids' birth certificates is just so overrated.

smash_effect · January 2014

In my state (Nebraska) you can claim foster kiddos after they've been in your home for 6 months. We had the twins 5 months before RU with mom.

msditz00 · January 2014

Spooko said:

Best of luck with everything, obviously. LMK if you want to talk more about it.

Thanks. My big concern is the girls have 3 full siblings, and their paternal grandmother has taken them all in. BUT they are 7, 12, and 13 (or around those ages, SW couldn't remember). So what are the chances (a) a 50+ woman wants to take on newborn twins and (b) DCF is going to feel that a 50+ year old woman with 3 kids is the best home for newborn twins.

As far as the names mom is throwing around - if they haven't been approved for the last 7 kids, then I don't see them being approved now.

This is such a roller coaster ride. I am so in love with these little girls. And contrary to what it may seem like to DCF when I ask about claiming them on my taxes, we aren't just money hungry foster parents. I am not trying to make a buck off these little angels. They already have savings accounts started (obviously can't be in their names yet) that will be rolled over to a 529 as soon as they are legally ours (if we can't keep them the money will hang around til we get our forever children). The better financial situation we are in, the more money that can go into each child's college accounts. It just really upsets me when anyone even remotely implies we are just after the money.

I really hope BM doesn't show up for the visit Thursday. Apparently she has "LOTS" of stuff she wants to give the girls, and expects them to be wearing it at future visits. I am just picturing frilly matching froo froo outfits.

msditz00 · January 2014

fredalina said:

I was under the impression you could only claim someone who had lived with you for 6 months and one day in the year, so they would have had to have been born before 6/30 or something like that. I am not a tax professional though. In my state all the stipend stuff is based on SSN so getting the number wouldn't have been an issue. However in general dealing with the state was deeply painful and yes, I had my ethics called into question once. (2 weeks before school was out we got a call for a hard to place boy who went to school 45 minutes from our house, incidentally 45 min in the opposite direction from where I worked, also 45 min, so to get him to school and then work would be 2 hours and 15 min, and the same to pick up. I told them I'd be happy to take him but not until school was out because I couldn't possibly commute 4.5 hours daily. The placement worker told me that they had someone who would take him to and from school every day for the last couple of weeks of school. FALSE! So the caseworker's supervisor called me and chewed me out up one side and down the other because this was my JOB and I get PAID to do it. I was livid.)

I went on IRS.gov and searched "dependent." It came up with a questionnaire and it has an option to choose that the child is a foster child, if you put in the birthdate of Nov 2012 (it doesn't have 2013 info yet), and put that the child lived with you their whole life (aside from hospital time), it says you can claim them. My sister is an accountant and has a call in to a tax accountant at her work, so we shall see. If I don;t get an answer by the time we file in early Feb oh well, at least I looked into it.

msditz00 · January 2014

On another note, why did I change my sig a month ago to include the girls, and it still shows old info when I post? When I go to edit my profile again, the new info is there.

msditz00 · January 2014

Spooko said:

msditz00 said:

Spooko said:

Best of luck with everything, obviously. LMK if you want to talk more about it.

Thanks. My big concern is the girls have 3 full siblings, and their paternal grandmother has taken them all in. BUT they are 7, 12, and 13 (or around those ages, SW couldn't remember). So what are the chances (a) a 50+ woman wants to take on newborn twins and (b) DCF is going to feel that a 50+ year old woman with 3 kids is the best home for newborn twins.
As far as the names mom is throwing around - if they haven't been approved for the last 7 kids, then I don't see them being approved now.
This is such a roller coaster ride. I am so in love with these little girls. And contrary to what it may seem like to DCF when I ask about claiming them on my taxes, we aren't just money hungry foster parents. I am not trying to make a buck off these little angels. They already have savings accounts started (obviously can't be in their names yet) that will be rolled over to a 529 as soon as they are legally ours (if we can't keep them the money will hang around til we get our forever children). The better financial situation we are in, the more money that can go into each child's college accounts. It just really upsets me when anyone even remotely implies we are just after the money.

I really hope BM doesn't show up for the visit Thursday. Apparently she has "LOTS" of stuff she wants to give the girls, and expects them to be wearing it at future visits. I am just picturing frilly matching froo froo outfits.

I know. Just keep on keeping on. It's such a one day at a time thing. I couldn't even guard myself because I just loved so fully from the very start. The only thing I could do was console myself with the fact that if DS didn't stay, he needed that love in the meantime more than I needed to preserve my heart. It's all I could do.

I dreaded the vist days. Do you have to transport or do they have an aide for that? Are the visits supervised? Where are they located? DS' BPs bringing stuff was annoying to me, too, but after they ruined a bunch of the clothes I bought, at least it gave me something for me to put him in without me caring if they ruined it too. Silver lining?

Just roll your eyes at the SW judgment...it's all you can do. She's probably completely jaded at this point and it's nothing personal. I'm sure you're doing everything to the very best. It's very hard when this whole process is out of your hands but it's your life that's on the line in the meantime. Deep breaths and hugs in the meantime. Message me whenever...I've been through the long haul with DS.

I will be driving the girls to/from visits. Partially because I don't think DCF wanted to and they strong armed me, but mostly because I am a crazy car seat mom and don't like others putting my kids in seats (my son was RF til after 3, no coats, etc).Visits will take place at DCF (in a very not friendly room with a table and chairs) and the girls' SW will be in there at all times taking notes. She has to show up first, then someone will call me to bring the girls. So at least I won't be going there for nothing.

Thanks for the support. After having M for 6 months and then not even getting to say goodbye to her (we knew she wasn't staying, but never imagined she would just be taken by her dumbass grandmother one day), I am so terrified of losing these girls. Their SW has had to reassure me multiple times that if they do get moved out of our home I will get a good amount of warning first.

IdigDirt · January 2014

I have no advice since I am still in limbo but wanted to say I hope she fizzles out and everything is smooth sailing from here out.

adoptmommy · January 2014

I'm a tax accountant- based on what you've said, yes you can claim on your taxes.

Claiming foster children on taxes (and update on the girls)

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