Anyone else feeling a little apprehensive about doing the deed lately?

mythaldo · January 2014

DH and I almost went for it on Sunday after about about a month-long break (the last time kicked off some fairly painful contractions and gave us the heebie-jeebies about PTL). Since my new insurance finally kicked in and our double coverage meant no out of pocket expenses for L&D (score), we wanted to celebrate a bit, but I started to chicken out as we were fooling around, so I just gave DH an old fashioned instead and we called it a night.

I had my 36 week checkup yesterday and since DH wasn't there with me for this appointment, I went ahead and asked if I'm still cool to have sex or if we should wait until closer to term. My OB said we're fine to have it, but just to remember that it can kick off some contractions and some spotting. Considering that with my irritable uterus I have contractions constantly now, I'm really not too crazy about having more of them, but DH and I are both getting damn restless. Plus we both know we're not getting any for a while after our LO comes of course.

Still, I'm a little apprehensive about it. I've also been considering some adjustments to keep the sex low risk for kicking off labor (pulling out or bagging it, not going too deep, etc.), but part of me thinks I'm just over-thinking things. Anyone else there with me on this? Are you doing anything different just in case the old wives tales about sex and labor are true?

AKAP2010 · January 2014

I'm definately apprehensive. I don't know if sex and labor are really true but it worked for me kinda last time. We had sex, I lost my mucus plug/bloody show then went into labor the next day.... I was 38+ Weeks pregnant.

cbear47 · January 2014

Yeah...I know I've never felt less sexy in my ENTIRE life. Ever. I'm not sure if it's the constant contractions, the swollen extremities, the acid reflux, or just the being so huge and tired I have no energy for anything. Just, no.

I feel sorry for my wonderful H, but he understands. At least, he says he does.

cbear47 · January 2014

I wanted to add how great DH has been, because all his BF talks about is how much sex he and his GF had when she was pregnant. I just want to tell him to STFU!!! :-t

JackieP1023 · January 2014

I've been on pelvic rest since 13w, due to cerclage placement. My cerclage came out yesterday, at 36+5. DH (I think) would like to try and sneak in a session or two before being back out for the 6weeks (min) post partum... But I'm so conflicted!! We will definitely wait a day or two to be sure things have a chance to calm down. We'll see I guess!

mythaldo · January 2014

JoyBaby5 said:

Yup! Same for us. DH is a little more freaked out than I am. We're waiting until 37 weeks to have sex again. I said he could still have BJs until then.

See, I'm not even that nice! I totally dropped off the BJs ever since I almost puked on him during the 1st Tri. It's kind of been my excuse ever since, but neither of us are generous head-givers, so I think he gets it.

mythaldo · January 2014

JackieP1023 said:

I've been on pelvic rest since 13w, due to cerclage placement. My cerclage came out yesterday, at 36+5. DH (I think) would like to try and sneak in a session or two before being back out for the 6weeks (min) post partum... But I'm so conflicted!! We will definitely wait a day or two to be sure things have a chance to calm down. We'll see I guess!

Oh wow, that would definitely make me nervous, too! I hope it works out though. It would be even more sad if both of you were wanting to do it, but then you went into labor spontaneous anyway and then had to wait the whole PP period.

Congrats at least on getting the cerclage out! If it doesn't sound too weird of me to say, I hope you are able to get laid soon (Does that sound weird? Pretty sure it sounds weird...

).

JackieP1023 · January 2014

mythaldo said:

JackieP1023 said:

I've been on pelvic rest since 13w, due to cerclage placement. My cerclage came out yesterday, at 36+5. DH (I think) would like to try and sneak in a session or two before being back out for the 6weeks (min) post partum... But I'm so conflicted!! We will definitely wait a day or two to be sure things have a chance to calm down. We'll see I guess!

Oh wow, that would definitely make me nervous, too! I hope it works out though. It would be even more sad if both of you were wanting to do it, but then you went into labor spontaneous anyway and then had to wait the whole PP period.

Congrats at least on getting the cerclage out! If it doesn't sound too weird of me to say, I hope you are able to get laid soon (Does that sound weird? Pretty sure it sounds weird...

).

Maybe a little

but it's all good. We'll just have to see how it goes. My OB and my parents all think it won't be long now... (That sounds weird-as if my parents are experts--but my mom had 5 cerclages over a span of 14 ish years). I think I've gotten 4 texts from my dad in the last 28ish hours asking if i was in labor yet!

selahvey · January 2014

I was hoping I would be one of the lucky ones to have an amazing sex drive, but.. No. Not one bit! It's uncomfortable and there are like, no ways that my body can maneuver into these days to make it feel good, or not make me feel ginormous!

Last Friday at my 36w appt. doctor said I'm 2cm dilated, so I think we're going to hold off at "attempting" to go at it until maybe 38ish weeks or so? Wanting baby to cook a little longer so not risking it with sex. My SO has gotten off my back a little about it since we found out I'm dilated, I think he's freaked out! Poor guy, but I don't feel bad because I really hate telling him no all the time so this saves some hassle

he'll be happy when I offer again In a couple weeks, for labor purposes only, of course!

Giraffealaff · January 2014

It's been close to 6 months for me.

No apprehension, it just doesn't happen anymore. Although if it did, I wouldn't be doing it now anyway being so close to D-day and all.

djtippietoes · January 2014

I've been on pelvic rest since the end of November and I'm sort of glad because it would definitely make me apprehensive too.

pinkgrl84 · January 2014

I am apprehensive as well. After my appt a week ago my Dr told me to avoid sex until 38 weeks because I am 80% effaced. She said it would probably be ok but she wants me to wait since it can cause labor.

gateship · January 2014

My DH and I have been leery and very cautious when doing the deed because of it causing lots of contractions in the past. I was put on pelvic rest for a while and then it got lifted a couple of weeks ago. We haven't wanted to do much until 37 weeks (which is today! yay) but we have tried the pull out method a few times and that seems to have not caused any extra contractions and have worked the best. You might try that but really it is up to what you are both comfortable with. Oh and we have been careful about not doing anything on the days that I have had a lot of contractions. Good luck!

Dexter&11 · January 2014

It's not an old wives tale....something in the sperm softens the mucus plug according to my birthing class instructor

VeronicaAnn143 · January 2014

I'm officially on the 6-week post partum drought. Unfortunately, I feel FINE and I'm pretty sure my stitches have dissolved. Bleeding stopped today. Sex drive THROUGH THE ROOF but I'm too scared to disobey doctors orders

DH is getting taken care of in other ways but this sucks because I'm pretty sure I'm fine!

noconalove · January 2014

We have been pretty regularly about it a few times a week. DH is nervous about softening the cervix so lately he pulls out and probably will until we hit about the 38 week mark just to be safe. My OB said it's fine, but that it does indeed soften the cervix.

mythaldo · January 2014

Beachbumm2214 said:

I'm not afraid to do it at all..We actually tried the other night after a long break. H claims he doesn't even try anymore because I'm always complaining that my back or hip hurts. I told him it doesn't mean I don't want some pleasure! It's going to hurt whether we have sex or not...Well...I'm pretty sure he is freaked out about it or my pregnant self just doesn't turn him on anymore. We've been going through this for months but he was on pain meds for a fractured wrist and then some dental work so I blamed it on that. Now that he's med free I didn't think there would be any "problems." Things we going great then when it came time for the deed things went downhill..literally.
I'm mostly just getting this off my chest now b/c it's really been bothering me. He's never had issues like this EVER (we've been together 11 years now, married 3). Things end up so awkward after and my feelings are very hurt. I'm done trying now for sure. It won't be until after LO is born and I'm healed before I'll try to have sex again. I wish he would talk about it or admit he doesn't want to do it, but he lets it lead to awkwardness and I hate that. I get guys don't like talking about any type of problem like that, but he's letting me believe that I'm just fat and gross now. I refuse to bring it up b/c I don't want to hurt his feelings if it isn't me...UGH! Just awkward all around. So even though I'm only 34w, and behind most of you, my trying to get some is over and done with!! sorry for the vent
8-|

No apology necessary! Venting is what threads like this are for! It's happened to us before, too; it's probably more embarrassing and discouraging for him than it is for you. He's probably just nervous and preoccupied thinking about the baby. Men typically have much lower testosterone once babies are around, and it can start dropping in the last couple of months in preparation for the baby, too. Don't fret thinking he's turned off by you. Your body isn't really your own right now, but it will get back to normal eventually.

ScaredOfCats · January 2014

DH and I went for it the other night after about 6 weeks of nothing. It was a little awkward, but I have to give DH props for powering through. It started off with me crying because I am so unattractive, DH trying to convince me I'm not, then what I'm pretty sure was pitty sex. If you do decide to do it, I highly recommend a ton of foreplay so you get some enjoyment out of the deal. When it has been that long, DH is fast to finish. (I'm sure he would be thrilled to know I just let you all know)

mdr619 · January 2014

We haven't had sex in months...probably since Oct. I banned H from my lady bits. He has been really sweet and understanding about it, but ladt night he asked if we could do it just once more before LO arrives. I think we should probably wait another couple weeks just to be safe.

KaraLeigh115 · January 2014

VeronicaAnn143 said:
I'm officially on the 6-week post partum drought. Unfortunately, I feel FINE and I'm pretty sure my stitches have dissolved. Bleeding stopped today. Sex drive THROUGH THE ROOF but I'm too scared to disobey doctors orders DH is getting taken care of in other ways but this sucks because I'm pretty sure I'm fine!

With DS mine was! I had a c sec and about 4 weeks into PP I told DH I would make him go against his will. (He was scared to and wanted to follow drs orders) it wasn't long at all the first time (felt really different and with all the "baby stretch"...) but deff got it off my mind for a bit so I was good! But I think it pretty much teased him

But as far as with this LO, I want to but the thought of having to actually HAVE sex is just exhausting. That actually sounds terrible for DH reading it in writing.

But the past 2 times I've become so sore after (like for the next couple days) Not painful but like it's the first time having sex. If that makes sense. DH has been supportive though. Wish I am very thankful for.

potbellypig · January 2014

I'm still having sex a few times a week and every time I think it might be the last because of how huge my belly is. The only part I dislike is when it's over and I have to get off of him/out of the bed because it's physically awkward to hoist myself up.

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