Stop laughing at me.

likeanoldtimemovie · January 2014

I am so sick of being laughed at when I mention having a natural birth.

Fine if you think I'm crazy or that I can't do it, but laughing at me and saying "Ooookay, we'll just see about that..." is so rude I can't even process that information.

Especially when it comes from my MIL who had two daughters with elective c-sections/inductions because they wanted the babies born on a Friday.

UGH.

likeanoldtimemovie · January 2014

trawas01 said:

Yeahhh I've stopped talking about it. When family asks I just say we aren't sure yet. I got tired of "oh you say you want it to be med free now..." comments. The eye roll from FIL when DH and I told him about the free standing birth center almost sent me over the edge.

Same with cloth diapering and breastfeeding...

I should probably quit answering. When my mom was pregnant, she told my grandparents that she was planning on a med-free delivery and my grandpa said, "Well if you wanna lay there like an old cow to give birth, I guess you can."

Sheesh.

tealowl · January 2014

Has politeness gone out the effin window?! How rude of people to ask you questions and then roll their eyes at your answers.

I've had a few co-workers tell me I'm crazy for having a baby when DD is almost 13. "Oh my God, do you really want to start over?" "A teenager and a baby, oh boy you're in for it!"

I'm sorry you had awful teenagers, I guess. My DD is a complete nerd. She reads a kids Bible every night. If she got into trouble, I wouldn't even be mad, I'd be impressed.

Valancyy · January 2014

I never told anyone I was hoping to go med-free.

I had some IV meds with my first.

My 2nd was med-free. For full disclosure, however, it went so fast I couldn't have had meds if I wanted to!

I did get some comments from people when all I said was that I was hoping to avoid an epidural. And I didn't get one, so ha!

JustCricket · January 2014

I never understood why people give a rats ass what you do with your child. I was talking to my Mom about Cloth diapering... like breastfeeding, money is a huge motivating factor for me. Her response? "I guess if you want to try that go ahead, but I couldn't do it for more than a week with you. Good luck with that!" This is even after showing her how much better CD's are nowadays.

ETA- I don't even want to go into her response about me choosing a CNM over an OB...

tealowl · January 2014

I didn't have good BF support when DD was born. She was preemie, my WIC breast pump broke after a couple weeks, I was so engorged I never had nipples, I had no one close to me to help or give advice, etc. I gave up after a few weeks because she wasn't gaining weight and her ped told me to put her on formula.

I remember being upstairs in the bedroom trying to nurse her, and my Mom hounding me to hurry up because family was downstairs waiting to hold her, so I literally had to stop nursing her so people could hold her. That memory still makes me angry.

This is my last baby, it's my call this time. Knowing me, I'll want to nurse privately until I get the hang of it, so you can see the baby around their feeding schedule this time.

And I'm also hoping for a med-free birth. I haven't had anyone side eye for it, but if anyone tries to be snarky about it, I'll just ask them, "Why do you want me to have drugs when I'm in labor? Why are you so concerned with my birth plan?"

tealowl · January 2014

I remember being shamed for so many decisions/choices with DD I can't imagine doing that to another mother.

(Within reason, I know I'm guilty of side eyeing SOME things.)

You use formula? That's cool.
You're BF'ing your 3 year old? That's cool.
You're CD'ing? That's cool.
You SAM? That's cool.
You work full time? That's cool.

tealowl · January 2014

And with BF/CD, I don't really have much choice. I HAVE to BF and CD, because with my debt right now, disposables and formula is NOT affordable right now.

I always have such bad luck though, I'm a human Eeyore. I'm panicking thinking I won't have a good milk supply and my washer is going to break down in July, so I won't be able to do either.

Valancyy · January 2014

We've used the old fashioned pre-folds and covers, WITH pins, since my first was a few months old. It's easy. No big deal. No worrying about running out of diapers! I love it. I feel very retro using the pins too :P

I have a friend who thinks BF is gross. She talked about being all grossed out when her milk came in. But, she didn't make a big deal about it when her friends breastfed. And we didn't make a big deal about it when she used formula.

Salsera29 · January 2014

I can't believe you guys are getting judgement for WANTING to BF! I feel like all the pressure I've gotten (except here because my bmb was awesome about this) is pro BFing. My sister said if I decided to FF then I didn't care about the health of my baby. (She later apologized, but it was already out there). She also laughed in my face when I said I thought epis didn't hurt the baby.

I guess my point is, no matter what "side" you're on, somebody is always going to be an asshole.

bumpuser1282882 · January 2014

I'm so glad I haven't been asked about my birth plan yet. If anyone judges me, they'll like get throat punched. Seriously, I find it super inappropriate and disrespectful for people to comment on your choices. It's your childbirth, your choice. However I do think it's important to being open to a plan B if your original plan doesn't work for sure.

@Tealowl tell the haters you're just happy you'll have a guaranteed babysitter, ha. I have a friend who has a 13 year old DD and she just had a baby. Her DD is so loving and caring with the baby, it's really quite amazing to see. She really dotes on him and it seems like the baby's birth has really brought their family together.

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