Having a Hard time putting 17 month LO to Bed

FlMarriedCpl · January 2014

Ok so for a while now, my wife has been staying with our LO in the room and holding her until she falls asleep. We lay her down first but sometimes she'll get up and ask to be held, which my wife does. She'll rock her in the chair and usually within 20 to 30 minutes she's out. No problem.

Also, she has been in a day care/school (KLA School) and she's pretty tired when she comes home. I bring this up because we are thinking this might be why the issue above has started (for the past 3 weeks since she's been on winter break), but I had to ask anyways.

Back to my question lol, so lately on many occasions, my wife will do what she does but no matter how many times she goes to put her down, the LO gets upset and starts to cry. She even looks like she's asleep when my wife goes to lay her in the crib, but the minute she walks to the door, she gets upset.

Now here's the weird part, after about an hour now of trying, my wife will ask me to try. The couple times i've done it, I've gone in, she asks to be held, I rock with her for maybe 5 to 10 minutes and the second she starts to get active on me (starts to talk, maybe play with her hands) i lose my patience and just get up, put her in the crib and just walk out in one quick motion......and she doesn't cry!! I don't get it. I can't tell if its cuz my wife did most of the work but I've only done it when the LO starts to act awake again. Pretty quickly after I do that she's out.

I've told my wife I wish we tried the cry it out method so if i'm sitting with her for a while and I think she's out but she suddenly gets all talkative or moving around, I just lose patience and do what I said above.

Do you think its' ME? or what? I mean if she associates me with the 'don't cry for dad cuz he ain't coming back' ..then great but i don't know...sorry I ramble and we're just trying to see whats up.

diana.filipi · January 2014

My husband and I put our kids to bed differently. In our case it's my husband that takes a long time and gets a lot of whines and such from the kids. I go in and the kids know I am very matter of fact. It's expected that I will not tolerate lots of nonsense (asking to be held, more books, etc). I do 3 books, I give however many hugs and kisses are requested (by the 4 year old) and put the 22 month old in his crib and tell him to lay down. That's it. I walk out and consider it done. Further nonsense doesn't get them far and they know it. They know I love them to bits, it's just that if it's me they cooperate more but if it's Dad they know they can get a LOT more with shenanigans.

Kids being kids, getting to still be up for WHATEVER reason seems to be enough to mean it takes him about 45min-1 1/2 hour to do bed time. It takes me about 20 min.

In our house my husband doesn't mind so I don't either since the kids know that it's just different with each of us. I do not have the patience to spend that long on bed time. He does. All good. We do sleep train early on so we both know that once down we can leave them to it unless there's really a problem. The difference is just the putting to bed part.

[Deleted User] · January 2014

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diana.filipi · January 2014

yep yep, your kid is smart enough to know what each of you will do

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