Too soon to transition LO from bedsharing?

KateLouise · January 2014

DD2 will be two in February. She has bedshared since she was born.

In October, we transitioned her to her own bed and she did pretty well, but I would end up in her bed normally around 4am. We went away in November and her and 3 yr old slept in the same bed together. DD2 STTN with no issues with her sister to snuggle.

Then she got chicken pox, followed by a bad cold that hung on her. So she's been in and out of my bed, and I've been in her bed, and we just did whatever to get through the night.

Now if I put her in her bed, she wakes every night between 9 and 11pm. She takes less than a minute to resettle, and she just needs to know I'm there. (I honestly put my hand and put the blanket back over her, or she just sees me and snugs herself back down) She won't resettle for DH. Then she wakes through the night until she ends up in my bed, or I end up in hers. On a bad night after that 9pm waking she'll wake every 20minutes or so, it's like she can't settle into a comfortable sleep.

Last night I just put her in my bed, and she slept through until 4am, she didn't do her normal 9pm wake up.

She's working on a tooth at the moment, which has cut through but she's an agonisingly slow teether and each tooth seems to last weeks for her, and I think they tend to move a lot in her jaw and go back and forth..

So should I give up on transtioning her right now? Is she going through a separation anxiety phase? Is it just not the right time for her, or is there something else to try?

I don't have any problems with her being in my bed, but DH doesn't like the lack of space and so sleeps elsewhere, and I miss him.

Emerald27 · January 2014

Hmm...it sounds like she is having a bit of a rough time and would sleep better with you. If it is ok with you, I might let her sleep with you for a couple weeks and then try the transition again...starting from scratch. Traveling, sickness, and teeth can totally screw up sleep (currently struggling against serious nap resistance after changing time zones and being busy on vacation, so I am no stranger to sleep battles).

Is there a way that you could give her her own sleep space in your room, so that you're right there and can go to her quickly if she needs you, but your husband doesn't feel displaced? We put a twin mattress on the floor next to our bed, got train blankets, and played up how cool it was for DS to have his own bed. Now I nurse him and lay with him in his bed until he falls asleep, and I sleep right above him in my own bed. When he wakes, I go down and nurse him, and if I can manage to stay awake, I move back to my bed. If not, I still get a good night's sleep because it's a comfy twin mattress.

DH also sleeps well because he doesn't notice when DS wakes and needs me, and I'm quiet when I move down to him. As the months have gone by, DS wakes for me later and later. Now we're to about 2-2:30, and he goes to bed at 8:30...so that's a good long stretch of sleep for a 2yo.

ETA: We bought DS' mattress and started sleeping there with him just before he turned 2.

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