- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
TTC After a Loss
taytaliana
member
Options
Intro (losses, not my children, and not my BFPs mentioned)
taytaliana
member
Hi TTCAL community! I have been debating for some time whether or not to join a board. I'm very shy and cringe at the thought of mean comments, but I feel so lost that I need to reach out for support. My name is Taylor and I am 26. My DH and I have been together for over 8 years and have been married for over 2 years. We have been TTC for most of those 2 years and have had 3 MCs over the first year. The second year we decided to see an RE who could find nothing obvious wrong with either of us except low progesterone for me. We decided to start slow and had been going through IUI cycles.
Now, after a lot of stressful delay because of my job and family health issues, we are moving on to IVF. The doctor told us that we are good candidates for successful IVF and also that if there was something wrong with my eggs they might be able to tell. The process involved, a lot of recent stress, and the thought of failure has stressed me out so much that I have developed panic attacks and am panicking left and right. I'm to the point where I don't want to go through with it. I feel like I'm pressuring myself into it because we want a family so bad. Even going to the RE for baseline blood work and and ultrasound gave me a panic attack.
It doesn't help seeing my sister-in-law have twins not long after her first child. It feels like there's more pressure from both my parents and in-laws to have children. There were also two people who recently shared the news that they're pregnant at work. Now people at work are asking, "are you next?" I know we're not supposed to think of it this way, but it feels like a competition that we're losing.
I wish I could conquer my panic attacks so that we can have the chance to achieve our dream of parenthood. After all we've been through, it seems like a silly thing to hold us back now... I hope I'm in the right place for support and maybe you gals can help get me through this.
Now, after a lot of stressful delay because of my job and family health issues, we are moving on to IVF. The doctor told us that we are good candidates for successful IVF and also that if there was something wrong with my eggs they might be able to tell. The process involved, a lot of recent stress, and the thought of failure has stressed me out so much that I have developed panic attacks and am panicking left and right. I'm to the point where I don't want to go through with it. I feel like I'm pressuring myself into it because we want a family so bad. Even going to the RE for baseline blood work and and ultrasound gave me a panic attack.
It doesn't help seeing my sister-in-law have twins not long after her first child. It feels like there's more pressure from both my parents and in-laws to have children. There were also two people who recently shared the news that they're pregnant at work. Now people at work are asking, "are you next?" I know we're not supposed to think of it this way, but it feels like a competition that we're losing.
I wish I could conquer my panic attacks so that we can have the chance to achieve our dream of parenthood. After all we've been through, it seems like a silly thing to hold us back now... I hope I'm in the right place for support and maybe you gals can help get me through this.
Married 9/3/11, together since 2005
MC1: Jan 2012, MMC2: Oct. 2012 (D&C), MC3: Feb. 2013
4 IUI cycles all BFN
Next step, IVF after break.
MC1: Jan 2012, MMC2: Oct. 2012 (D&C), MC3: Feb. 2013
4 IUI cycles all BFN
Next step, IVF after break.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Intro (losses, not my children, and not my BFPs mentioned)
Infertility, going through treatments, and loss are all really stressful and it's ok to take a deep breath and maybe take a break if you need to. Try not to be hard on yourself for being upset about your SIL and the pregnancy announcements. It's hard to see how easy it seems for some when we're struggling ourselves.
BFP #2: EDD 9/3/13~~Slow HB at 1st U/S~~MMC -Loss on 2/13/13
TTC #3 since June 2013
BFP #1 7/21/2013--EDD 3/30/14--D&C 9/24/13
BFP #2 1/28/14--MC 2/7/14
IUI #1 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
IUI #2 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
IUI #3 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
TTC #1 since January 2013
BFP #1: April 5, 2013; EDD December 11, 2013; Missed M/C May 15, 2013
BFP #2: February 17, 2014; EDD October 30, 2014; M/C March 15, 2014
BFP #3: August 1, 2014; EDD April 14, 2015 - Praying for our RAINBOW!
I love your dog pic Frenchteachermama, we have 3 dogs.
MC1: Jan 2012, MMC2: Oct. 2012 (D&C), MC3: Feb. 2013
4 IUI cycles all BFN
Next step, IVF after break.
Married since 10/13/2012
BFP: 7/18/13 EDD: 3/27/14 BO, Natural MC: 8/6/13
BFP: 2/25/14 EDD: 11/4/14
**BFP#1 9/5/12 EDD 5/15/13 changed to 5/25/13 after u/s, missed mc 10/19/12. D and C 10/22/12**
BFP 4 10/28/19 EDD 7/6/20
EDD 5/2/14, NMC 9/11/13
EDD 10/15/14, CP 2/8/14
IF Diagnosis: PCOS, MFI
Current Cycle: 5 mg Femara/1000mg Metformin + TI = BFP, EDD 4/23/15 Please be our RAINBOW
**ALL AL/IF Welcome**
My Chart
4 Losses (2003, 2008, Apr 2012, & Oct 2012)
All RPL and IF testing with multiple REs = normal
5 IUIs = BFN
All AL are welcome
BFP #1: EDD 05/27/2014 (D&C 10/17/2014)
Missed M/C natural cycle 10/2013
DX PCOS 3/2014
2 cycles Clomid 50 mg + Ovidrel + TI
1 cycle Clomid 50 mg + TI - no response stair-stepped to Clomid 75 mg + Ovidrel + TI
1 cycle Clomid 50 mg + Ovidrel + IUI
1 cycle Letrozole 7.5 mg + 150 mg Follistim + Ovidrel + TI
1 cycle Letrozole 7.5 mg + 150 mg Folistim + Ovidrel + IUI
1 cycle Letrozole 7.5 mg + 150 mg Follistim - no response, repeated Letrozole 7.5 mg + 150 mg Follistim + Ovidrel + IUI = success! 12/2014
Beta 1 - 15 dpiui, 324, Beta 2 - 17 dpiui 750. Twins!!
My Blog: pcosandpizza.blogspot.com
((HUGS))
DX Endometriosis 2/2002 (lost left tube due to a cyst), PCOS 6/2010
BFP - 10/18/2012, EDD - 6/26/2013, Baby Girl lost at 22 weeks (T21), D&E 2/15/2013
BFP - 4/23/2014, EDD - 1/2/2015 Twin Boys lost at 12 weeks, M/C 6/25/2014
My chart here All ALers welcome!
The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
BFP #2 2/6/14 EDD 10/16/14- keeping our fingers crossed!
BFP 6/29/2013 - EDD 3/16/14 - MMC 9/5/2013
April 2014 - - 1st ICI Cycle - BFP 5/15/14 EDD: 1/20/15
A/S 8-22-14 - Its a BOY!!
12/15 Checkup & heard his beautiful heartbeat
ALL WELCOME -
Began trying for a baby January 2012
BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013
BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013
BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014
My Chart
BFP #1 - 6-2009 - edd 1-23-10 - mmc - discovered by u/s @ 13wks 2days - D&C
BFP #2 - 10-15-2010 - Baby boy born 6-11-11
BFP#3 - 6-2013 - edd 2-21-14 -mmc discovered by u/s @ 9 wks - D&C
BFP #4 - 3-10-14 - edd 11-19-14 - natural miscarriage 4-10-14
BFP #5 - 8-24-14 - edd 5-5-15 - Please be our RAINBOW!!!
U/S 9-30 - baby measuring right on track, heart rate of 155bpm
U/S 10-8 & 10-14 - baby is growing perfectly!
10-20 - 151 bpm 10-31 153 bpm
11-13 IT'S A BOY!!!!!
09/2007: Ectopic with rupture - lost right tube | 09/2012: Ectopic - saved the left tube
08/05/2013: BFP not ectopic | EDD: 4/22/2014 | 09/15/2013: Miscarried at home
Burned the bench 01/20/15 - Medicated Cycle with Clomid and HCG trigger shot on 02/08/2015
++++ BFP 2/17/18 ++++ EDD 10/26/2015
Married since 6/14/13
EDD 7/1/14 ...MMC 11/22/13...D&C 11/25/13
2nd IUI (clomid+ovidrel) 1/15/14...BFN
7th & 8th IUI (follistim & ovidrel) 6/24 & 6/25....BFN
MC1: Jan 2012, MMC2: Oct. 2012 (D&C), MC3: Feb. 2013
4 IUI cycles all BFN
Next step, IVF after break.
BFP 11/21/13 --- EDD 07/25/14 --- MC at 5 wks 2 days
Me: 25, MH: 29, Married since 6/2011
I think you are wise to deal with your feelings. I understand how they can be complex.