September 2013 Moms

Cosleeping mamas!

My DH is really worried that LO will become too attached to cosleeping and will hit a point where he won't be able to break the habit. LO is about 3.5 months and sometime we cosleep after his MOTN feed. Is there a recommended timeframe of when to stop cosleeping to avoid this? Thoughts? Anyone with experience wanting to share?
Married: June 25, 2011
DS #1: Born September 29, 2013
Baby #2: Due June 3, 2016

DST T4L




Re: Cosleeping mamas!

  • Well, I've never known a middle school boy to sleep with his parents, so there's that ;)

    I'd be curious to know, too. We have DD's crib side carred to the bed right now. I'd bring her into the bed, but I worry because we have a pillow top mattress.

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  • I was cosleeping after the first MOTN feeding, it was just easier to nurse her and go to sleep.  We went for our 4 month well child check and the doctor thought that she should be STTN.  He gave me a pamphlet on how to get her to STTN, and we have been trying that for the past few nights.

      The pamphlet does say not to nurse her to sleep, and don't cosleep.  I have been doing both since she was born, so we have some big habits to break.  Also, it says to put her down drowsy but awake, which I have heard, but that is so easier said than done.  Last night she was awake about every hour.  So I am no help, but I do think she will develop sleep habits, but I don't know the timeframe.  Also, I have not successfully transitioned her, so no advice either.  

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  • Following because we have the same situation.

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  • I don't co-sleep but saw this article recently. It's a good read and interesting.
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  • I'm following this too. Up until 3.5 months or so Zoe was STTN in her rock and play but she's a tall baby and it seemed that after 3.5 months she wasn't as comfortable there. So we'd bring her in our bed from 3.5-4 months around 4am (her only time waking up during the night - every day at 4am on the dot). She's pretty good at going to bed drowsy not sleeping and falling asleep which gives me hope. We've been trying the crib the past week or so, but she only lasts there an hour before she cries and i bring her to our bed. Last night i felt like it was a breakthrough because she lasted from 11-2am there before waking herself up. I just can't bring myself to let her CIO especially since she's got croup and sounds sick.

    I think we'll continue to try for longer stretches in the crib till it gets better but interested to know what worked for others and BTDT mamas too. 
  • I think that allowing your child to sleep in your bed whenever he or she wants is not a good idea, even when they're tiny. It sets up bad habits that can be hard to break away from when you're really ready to have your own bed back. There are also questionable psychological effects of sharing a bed with your parents (particularly for an extended period of time) that I don't want my child exposed to. My opinion is that you should listen to your husband and transition your baby into sleeping in his own room, full time.
  • I think that allowing your child to sleep in your bed whenever he or she wants is not a good idea, even when they're tiny. It sets up bad habits that can be hard to break away from when you're really ready to have your own bed back. There are also questionable psychological effects of sharing a bed with your parents (particularly for an extended period of time) that I don't want my child exposed to. My opinion is that you should listen to your husband and transition your baby into sleeping in his own room, full time.

    I know my mom parented the same way. As did my sister. We are all great. Thanks though for your concern.
    Married: June 25, 2011
    DS #1: Born September 29, 2013
    Baby #2: Due June 3, 2016

    DST T4L




  • jdoud77 said:
    I don't co-sleep but saw this article recently. It's a good read and interesting.

    This is a nice article and it makes me feel kinda better about LO sleeping with me, but this doesn't help getting them to sleep in their own beds (which I think the goal is). And for me, I have to personally disagree with #5. When LO sleeps with me, I rarely sleep well because she's heavy and my arm falls asleep.
    Oh it definitely doesn't help getting them into their own beds. I just thought I'd share if anyone was doubting or having a hard time transitioning.
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  • I was cosleeping after the first MOTN feeding, it was just easier to nurse her and go to sleep.  We went for our 4 month well child check and the doctor thought that she should be STTN.  He gave me a pamphlet on how to get her to STTN, and we have been trying that for the past few nights.

      The pamphlet does say not to nurse her to sleep, and don't cosleep.  I have been doing both since she was born, so we have some big habits to break.  Also, it says to put her down drowsy but awake, which I have heard, but that is so easier said than done.  Last night she was awake about every hour.  So I am no help, but I do think she will develop sleep habits, but I don't know the timeframe.  Also, I have not successfully transitioned her, so no advice either.  
    Our doctor gave us a similar pamphlet- so much easier said than done!!
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  • I think that allowing your child to sleep in your bed whenever he or she wants is not a good idea, even when they're tiny. It sets up bad habits that can be hard to break away from when you're really ready to have your own bed back. There are also questionable psychological effects of sharing a bed with your parents (particularly for an extended period of time) that I don't want my child exposed to. My opinion is that you should listen to your husband and transition your baby into sleeping in his own room, full time.

    I'm usually very nice but you annoy me. Go away troll.
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  • VitaLunaVitaLuna member
    edited January 2014
    Oh! Look who's back!

    I'm surprised your pediatricians are pushing for LO to STTN. From my conversations with others and posts on the BFing board, it's normal for BF babies to not STTN until they wean.

    ETA: when the pedi asked at our 4mo appt how she was sleeping at night and I said she was up every 3-4hrs to eat, he said it was normal and "sounds about right".

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  • I think that allowing your child to sleep in your bed whenever he or she wants is not a good idea, even when they're tiny. It sets up bad habits that can be hard to break away from when you're really ready to have your own bed back. There are also questionable psychological effects of sharing a bed with your parents (particularly for an extended period of time) that I don't want my child exposed to. My opinion is that you should listen to your husband and transition your baby into sleeping in his own room, full time.

    You want us to "wipe the slate" and then come up with crap like this? That's cute.
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  • We did not bedshare with DD1, but DD2 sleeps with us most nights from at least 4-5 a.m. on.  Sometimes all night (last night she woke up at 11:30 p.m. so we let her sleep with us all night.  I'm not that worried about it, tbh.  I honestly don't think there is anything wrong with sleeping with your kid in bed until they're older.  Unless you want them out of bed for your sake!  We won't bring her to bed with us once she's older anymore.  I'm not worried about bad habits because she goes to bed in her own bed just fine and can and does sleep alone all night some nights. 
    Lots of love to my BFPB, Squishy622 <3

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  • Co-sleeping is the ONLY way I am getting any sleep. LO had severe reflux and it's still active. He also cluster feeds all night. My pedi actually said "I am not recommending sharing your bed, but you have to take care of you". (We have an apnea monitor). Keep in mind that worldwide, babies are sleeping with their parents far more than here in the good ol' USA.

    Oh and my nephew is 5 and he still bed shares with my sister who is a single mom. They stay at my grandparents 50% of the time as they are his childcare. HE HAS NO PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS. And in fact has no issue sleeping in his own bed at home.

    I'm in no rush to get lo out of bed. I'm cherishing this moment as dh hasn't made too big of a deal about it yet. We recently side carred his crib, and I am working on getting him used to not touching me all night. I love the snuggles too.
  • I think that allowing your child to sleep in your bed whenever he or she wants is not a good idea, even when they're tiny. It sets up bad habits that can be hard to break away from when you're really ready to have your own bed back. There are also questionable psychological effects of sharing a bed with your parents (particularly for an extended period of time) that I don't want my child exposed to. My opinion is that you should listen to your husband and transition your baby into sleeping in his own room, full time.

    I didn't think we asked you ?

    We bed share and enjoy it. We love to cuddle with Alexis. One day she won't want to be around us like this. We take advantage of these moments while they last. I have no clue when we will move her and I'm not in a hurry
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  • We bedshare with S., just as we did with J. and then A. when they were little. J. and A. now sleep in their own beds, in their own room. 

    I used this method to get them there. 

    We will use that again when we are ready to transition S. to his own room.
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  • HBirdieHBirdie member
    edited January 2014
    Adrd47 said:

    I think that allowing your child to sleep in your bed whenever he or she wants is not a good idea, even when they're tiny. It sets up bad habits that can be hard to break away from when you're really ready to have your own bed back. There are also questionable psychological effects of sharing a bed with your parents (particularly for an extended period of time) that I don't want my child exposed to. My opinion is that you should listen to your husband and transition your baby into sleeping in his own room, full time.

    I just psychologically damaged the shiiiiit out of DS during our very rare 4 hour nap. He's totes gonna be scarred for life.
    Bahahaha dying. I'm mobile bumping and Caleb is lying next to me. Man, he's in trouble. Kristen, Kirsten, whatever... If we only sometimes let him fall asleep next to us, what percentage of his brain will we be damaging? Also what's your ruling on lying in our bed before sleepy time, just to read and play and cuddle? Does the psychological damage only occur when actually sleeping? Please respond. I need to know.

    Eta typo
  • renee6465renee6465 member
    edited January 2014

    I think that allowing your child to sleep in your bed whenever he or she wants is not a good idea, even when they're tiny. It sets up bad habits that can be hard to break away from when you're really ready to have your own bed back. There are also questionable psychological effects of sharing a bed with your parents (particularly for an extended period of time) that I don't want my child exposed to. My opinion is that you should listen to your husband and transition your baby into sleeping in his own room, full time.

    Please share your reliable sources for said questionable psychological effects. I would love to read this because it sounds ridiculous.
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  • We bed share and I don't see stopping anytime soon. It's so much easier to nurse him while side lying in the middle of the night. I love the extra cuddles and it's so much less work than putting him in his crib, getting him when he's hungry, getting him back to sleeping in the crib yadda yadda.

    I think by the time he is a year old and done nursing well stop. That or if he magically starts STTN.
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  • We started bed sharing when LO was born, because we are renovating her room and the master bedroom upstairs and are all sleeping in the tiny guest bedroom on the main floor. There's no room for a crib or pack and play, so I have no choice. However, I love bed sharing. And I kinda don't want to finish the upstairs so I can actually have an excuse. But it's what works best for us, and I don't think I'll be stopping it anytime soon.
  • I'm seriously jealous of you guys who can bed share. When Auli was first born we let her sleep on top of us at night. It was the only way any of us got any rest. At about four weeks she was able to take all her naps and sleeps in her bassinet just fine. Her bassinet (if any of you recall our closet nursery) is just four feet from DHs side of the bed. We're all able to hear each other breathing, look into each others eyes when we wake up in the morning, and DH and I are often able to shush or sing Auli back to sleep without getting out of bed. But I miss the cuddles. Our bed is just a double bed and I am so uncomfortable lying on my side with Auli in the crook. Plus the cat demands her nesting areas between DHs and my feet. Its such a cramped bed. But I wish we could cosleep. Auli seems happy, but mommy wants her MOTN post nursing cuddles to go on and on.
  • Emily starts out in her crib at 8pm. She wakes at 11pm and I feed her a bottle and she sleeps in her crib until 1 or 2am, sometimes 3 or 4am. I'm too tired to try to get her back to sleep in the crib, so I bring her in the bed with me. We have a Queen bed in her room that I'll sleep in until she doesn't wake up as much at night. We bedshare and cluster nurse in side lying position from that early morning wakeup until we get up for good around 7 or 8am.

    It's the only way I can get enough sleep.

    Jamie


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  • We bedshared with DS until he was 10 months. Every single night, all night, until 10 month. It wasn't my 'plan', but it is what worked best with his sleep habits until that point and I don't regret it. At 10 months, it became clear that it wasn't working best for either of us, he was still getting up several times a night and it was clear he needed more sleep. We did some modified sleep training (no crying for us) and he was sleeping his crib in two days. He also started sleeping through the night immediately and was much happier all around. I think we got pretty lucky that the transition went so well.

    We don't bedshare with DD only because she sleeps best on her own (for now, at least). It varies so much from child to child for sure.


     

  • Look at this psychological failure image

    Beautiful! I wish I was such a psychologically scarring selfie master.
  • Look at this psychological failure image
    Beautiful! I wish I was such a psychologically scarring selfie master.
    gorgeous!  And your psychologically scarred child has the same little kitty leopard sleeper as mine does!
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