1. I'm dealing with Kellen being treated as a chew toy at daycare and it's frustrating 2. I think Meddlesome Myrtle sounds pretty scary (can anyone guess what we are watching???) 3. I'm going to have a large glass of Riesling as soon as MH gets home and takes K upstairs for his bath!
1) I'm still disturbed by joi's confession. I feel like after 2 years we all know each other pretty well. Even though we fight I Love all of you. I'm just sad about it for some reason. 2) Emery acted like a psycho at trader joes and I forgot bananas. I now have to go to the store again because God forbid she doesn't get a banana in the morning 3) MH is randomly home early and I'm excited because that means I can go to the store in peace.
Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10
BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
1. We were really excited to buy a new house and move out of the mini house we have now. We found out from the realtor today that we won't get enough for our house in the current market so we won't be moving for a year or two. I am very bummed about it.
2. DH is bringing home Olive Garden for dinner and I am very excited about it.
3. I start the 24 day challenge Wednesday and while I am excited, I am drinking a fair amount of wine tonight (and have already started) to compensate for the 24 days I will be wine-less...
@jerseygirl6411 - That song is perpetually stuck in my head. Just thinking about it stuck in your head made it pop into my head.
@nesenotes - I know what you mean. Its hard to see one of our own struggle. Bullshit aside we want nothing but the best and really do care about each other.
@mandie727 I don't know how you can function like that. I see you post happy pics, statuses etc. all the time about "daddy"- you're obviously spending a lot of time together. How can it not come up??! I'm just trying to understand. If it's as serious as you make it sound here on TB, why are you playing Happy House with him? That doesn't seem fair to either of you. I hope you two can actually talk and get to work on your issues soon!
DH is on his way to stupid MN again. I'm out of wine, and I'm mad at him for being gone, because if he were here I'd send him to get me some.
I did not enjoy Emily's company today. I feel terrible saying that, but it's true. She pretty much just screamed at me all day. If tomorrow isn't better I'm just taking the kids to the damn liquor store with me.
I need some more doula clients. I'm not sure how to get them.
They're confessing their love and concern for you @hijoi, not disappointment. Don't you dare apologize. You were so brave today.
Yes this exactly. Don't apologize.
Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10
BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
@mandie727 I don't know how you can function like that. I see you post happy pics, statuses etc. all the time about "daddy"- you're obviously spending a lot of time together. How can it not come up??! I'm just trying to understand. If it's as serious as you make it sound here on TB, why are you playing Happy House with him? That doesn't seem fair to either of you. I hope you two can actually talk and get to work on your issues soon!
Other than yall, no one knows what is happening or has happened. Its actually pretty easy since he isnt home that much. I dont really know what else Im supposed to do. I try.. but everything seems so empty. Id rather move out and forget about him and this crap but its not an option right now.
Well one thing you could definitely do would be talk about it. I know it's hard, but nothing will ever get better if you don't. Assuming you want it fixed, then I think you need to talk his ear off until he agrees to counseling. And if you don't want to fix it, well then, I don't understand why you're hanging around. Money, I'm sure (that would be the toughest hurdle for me, logistically) but don't you have someone to help? Maybe it's time to talk to your family and friends about this. Get some support. I just hate to see you playing nice when your marriage is really falling apart at the seams. We all know how bottling things up leads to explosions... I don't want to see your whole life explode!
They're confessing their love and concern for you @hijoi, not disappointment. Don't you dare apologize. You were so brave today.
This exactly! Joi I just want you to be happy and you have nothing to be sorry for. I'm sad that you are sad because we are all a family here. I am sorry if I didn't express that clearly. I've had the pleasure to meet you and you are an awesome lady. You deserve all the happiness life can bring.
@mandie727 but it IS your problem to sort out, or at least play a part in the sorting, because it's YOUR MARRIAGE! He made the mistakes and I'm not denying that, but if you just sit there silently and let him get away with it, and never even try to heal the relationship, you're contributing to its demise. Maybe its demise is what you want (which it sounds like it might be) and that's totally fine and your business, but that makes it even more crazy to me that you're putting on a show for others. If you want out, get out! Don't let your kids think you love each other, only to learn several years down the road when you finally can't take it anymore that it was all a big lie.
@mandie727, it kills me to read all this... I can't imagine what being pregnant and in this situation must be like... But I'm wondering why you pretend so hard for everyone else who doesn't know what's wrong? Why all the fb posts with the tags?
When you posted that article about a man being the leader of the house/family I was totally blown away... And reading your H's comments on it... I wanted to reach through the interweb and smack the shit out of him. How dare he speak about respecting one's wife and behaving in a "Godly" manner. How dare he.
I apologize if I've overstepped but you deserve so much better for you and your children.
I have another...I am finally sitting down with a glass of wine and getting ready to watch the latest episode of "Revenge" and realized that Henry somehow manged to set up a series recording of "The Chica Show". There are three episodes taped and my H said he definitely didn't do it.
Emery has set a series recording twice now for world news with George stephanopoulos! So random
Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10
BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
@Manda+Chase I'm watching Fever Pitch too! Good movie to watch until Fashion Police comes on
I'm really, weirdly conflicted about the best actor win at the Golden Globes last night. I just watched Dallas Buyers Club and don't disagree that Matthew was AMAZING in it - absolutely great! But I just don't think his performance was even close to being on the same level as the guy from 12 Years A Slave. I wonder if since the awards are voted on by the foreign press they just didn't find the movie as powerful since it wasn't their history. And yes, I gave this way too much thought today.
@Mandie727 I don't know what happened with your H but I agree with Sally, you need to push and push and push for counseling. You have a young child and a baby on the way and you need to know that you did everything you could to try and save your family. IF he refuses then that's on him but at least you will know you tried.
My H's busy season at work has started and I'm basically a single parent until April. Ugh. I'm so sad that I no longer get the break at the end of the day that I usually do.
@mandie727 it's a super difficult situation and I feel awful for you that you're going through this. I was in a very similar situation with my ex but we didn't have kids. All the pain and hurt was there though so I understand that part of things that you must be going through, and the loss of trust. If you ever want to talk, feel free to message me.
My random things:
1. Ava is saying new things everyday and repeating us all the time. Really have to watch our language around her. She is trying to say our pigs name "Norman" but she calls him "Num Num"
2. This is embarrassing but I somehow got sucked into the show Dance Moms. I was watching it the other night and my H came in the room and finished watching it with me. Then last night I put another episode on and a few minutes into it, my H walks through the living room and he's like "you're watching it without me??" So I had to turn it off until he could come watch it. After my conference call tonight we have a "date" to watch a couple more episodes before bed. Terrible I know.
I really have thought about each and everything you have said. We talked after it happened and he was so positive and convincing about going to therapy. I told myself when he said it that he was only saying it to 'get me off his back!' And Im right. He hasnt been. I shouldnt have to beg or even remind him to go. I was very clear about I was not going to sit around here while he didnt do something. He did this. I didnt deserve this. He still to this day has not even apologized to me. Its like he isnt sorry. Hell, for all I know he is still talking to those girls.
Have you suggested making an appointment for him? Or better yet, making an appointment for you to go as a couple, the first time? I think if it were me, and my H wasn't willing to go seek help, I would even go by myself, explain my feelings to the therapist, and get his or her take on where to go from there.
If your couple is struggling so much right now, the first few months with a newborn will be unbelievably hard. Again, if it were me (and I understand that it's not and you might want to take a completely different route and that's fine also), I would rather A) Work on my marriage issues as soon as possible, so that we'd at least be on the right track before giving birth, or Leave as soon as possible, so LO and you could get used to living on your own before the arrival of the new baby.
Again, I'm offering advice, but I don't know how hard it is to be in your shoes right now, and will continue to offer my support whatever you decide to do. It's a very hard situation, and I admire you for not falling apart and for taking such good care of LO during this time.
@mightybee I totally work out so that I can drink and eat pizza/sweets. That is my workout motivation. Would I love to lose 5 lbs? Sure! But only if there is a miracle out there that can let me still drink and eat pizza!
@sallysunrise I have been looking into post partum doulas for after we have 2.0. We want to start trying this spring and think I would love to have one for like a week. I wish you lived here!
1. I love ice cream snickers, like eat 1 or 2 a day. 2. I am pumped for dh to start his new job and have a new normal. 3. I love my moms new bf and he is who she has deserved her whole life.
Ooh good for you!! What a fantastic difference that will make!
1. I don't know exactly how people see me on this board, or if I still come across as a stranger, but I seriously love you guys. I don't comment a ton but I think about y'all and pray for you when you're going thorough tough times. I have felt encouraged by your presence in my life over the past two years and I want you to know you're all in my heart. Sap fest over. 2. I love ice cream. Like, way too much. Except when I'm pregnant. It baffles me- I would've bet millions that I would eat my weight in ice cream when I was pregnant but it just doesn't do it for me. Tonight after dinner DH offered to go get me ice cream and I requested an icy instead. It makes me want to punch myself in the face. 3. I went on a rearranging frenzy today and turned Ty's room into a big brother big boy bedroom. I thought it would make me sad but I love it!
I have another...I am finally sitting down with a glass of wine and getting ready to watch the latest episode of "Revenge" and realized that Henry somehow manged to set up a series recording of "The Chica Show". There are three episodes taped and my H said he definitely didn't do it.
Emery has set a series recording twice now for world news with George stephanopoulos! So random
George is kinda hot. That's one.
Two, I went for pho tonight and received a fortune cookie that said "you are an angel. Beware of feather collectors."
Three, I drank/ate a bubble tea with my pho and I cannot leave a single ball of tapioca in the cup. EVER. So I am sure I was very entertaining to my fellow diners as I stabbed my straw around the cup.
Is that what they call it where you live? Here its Boba.
Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10
BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10
BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
1) I need to start eating healthier and exercising more. I feel fat and gross. 2) I'm obsessing over old seasons of the amazing race on Amazon. 3) wondering why the hell I'm still awake.
Its not up to me to 'sort it out!' I think that is my problem. I refuse to be the one who tries to save my marriage while he does nothing, as usual. I dont trust him. I dont like him. Everything he says and does irritates me. I absolutely know the stress Im looking at in afew months.. hell, I go through it daily now. I guess what I meant by no one else knows is because I feel the need to pretend his happy little life is going on.. when in reality, its everything but that.
Big hugs girl. I wish I had more time to type out better advice. Until then big hugs.
#1. mmmmmmm... bubble tea... there is actually only one town in our state that has one cafe with bubble tea and it's the blended instead of the milk and I miss it! Have to drive a few hours to a different state to satisfy the craving.
#2. I'm pretty sure I ate all the puppy chow I made on my own with minimal help from MH. I'm glad it's gone so now it won't be calling to me and I don't have to make more.
#3. It's snowing outside and very pretty and makes me want to just go back to bed.
Even a minor event in
the life of a child is an event of that child's world and thus a world
event.
Re: Monday Night Randoms/BAD
2. I think Meddlesome Myrtle sounds pretty scary (can anyone guess what we are watching???)
3. I'm going to have a large glass of Riesling as soon as MH gets home and takes K upstairs for his bath!
2) Emery acted like a psycho at trader joes and I forgot bananas. I now have to go to the store again because God forbid she doesn't get a banana in the morning
3) MH is randomly home early and I'm excited because that means I can go to the store in peace.
Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10 BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
I did not enjoy Emily's company today. I feel terrible saying that, but it's true. She pretty much just screamed at me all day. If tomorrow isn't better I'm just taking the kids to the damn liquor store with me.
I need some more doula clients. I'm not sure how to get them.
Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10 BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
This exactly! Joi I just want you to be happy and you have nothing to be sorry for. I'm sad that you are sad because we are all a family here. I am sorry if I didn't express that clearly. I've had the pleasure to meet you and you are an awesome lady. You deserve all the happiness life can bring.
When you posted that article about a man being the leader of the house/family I was totally blown away... And reading your H's comments on it... I wanted to reach through the interweb and smack the shit out of him. How dare he speak about respecting one's wife and behaving in a "Godly" manner. How dare he.
I apologize if I've overstepped but you deserve so much better for you and your children.
I'm done now.
Sorry.
Not sorry.
Earl.
Just saying.
Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10 BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
@heartherbee710, a thousand times yes!
My random things:
1. Ava is saying new things everyday and repeating us all the time. Really have to watch our language around her. She is trying to say our pigs name "Norman" but she calls him "Num Num"
2. This is embarrassing but I somehow got sucked into the show Dance Moms. I was watching it the other night and my H came in the room and finished watching it with me. Then last night I put another episode on and a few minutes into it, my H walks through the living room and he's like "you're watching it without me??" So I had to turn it off until he could come watch it. After my conference call tonight we have a "date" to watch a couple more episodes before bed. Terrible I know.
If your couple is struggling so much right now, the first few months with a newborn will be unbelievably hard. Again, if it were me (and I understand that it's not and you might want to take a completely different route and that's fine also), I would rather A) Work on my marriage issues as soon as possible, so that we'd at least be on the right track before giving birth, or
Again, I'm offering advice, but I don't know how hard it is to be in your shoes right now, and will continue to offer my support whatever you decide to do. It's a very hard situation, and I admire you for not falling apart and for taking such good care of LO during this time.
And to your #3: That's really awesome! So sweet.
2. I love ice cream. Like, way too much. Except when I'm pregnant. It baffles me- I would've bet millions that I would eat my weight in ice cream when I was pregnant but it just doesn't do it for me. Tonight after dinner DH offered to go get me ice cream and I requested an icy instead. It makes me want to punch myself in the face.
3. I went on a rearranging frenzy today and turned Ty's room into a big brother big boy bedroom. I thought it would make me sad but I love it!
@sallysunrise just move a little further south!!!
Two, I went for pho tonight and received a fortune cookie that said "you are an angel. Beware of feather collectors."
Three, I drank/ate a bubble tea with my pho and I cannot leave a single ball of tapioca in the cup. EVER. So I am sure I was very entertaining to my fellow diners as I stabbed my straw around the cup.
Is that what they call it where you live? Here its Boba.
Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10 BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10 BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
2) I'm obsessing over old seasons of the amazing race on Amazon.
3) wondering why the hell I'm still awake.
2. I wish I would have given a two week notice. I'm just tired.
3. My kid woke up before the alarm, he wants to snuggle now but I need to get dressed, he's about to flip his shit.
#1. mmmmmmm... bubble tea... there is actually only one town in our state that has one cafe with bubble tea and it's the blended instead of the milk and I miss it! Have to drive a few hours to a different state to satisfy the craving.
#2. I'm pretty sure I ate all the puppy chow I made on my own with minimal help from MH. I'm glad it's gone so now it won't be calling to me and I don't have to make more.
#3. It's snowing outside and very pretty and makes me want to just go back to bed.
Even a minor event in the life of a child is an event of that child's world and thus a world event.
Even a minor event in the life of a child is an event of that child's world and thus a world event.