In home or out of home care for a WAHM

chapel2012 · January 2014

I am a lurker on this board, but figure this is place to get the best advice.

I will be taking at least 6 weeks of maternity leave after LO is born but will jumping right back into my job full time. I have a very demanding job but I also work from home the majority of the time. Originally DH was going to become a STAHD, but he just recently took a different position and now it is looking like he will continue working full time. While I can be flexible with the times I work, we will now need to arrange for child care for at least part of the day, max 4 to 5 hours. We are not keen on the idea of sending a small baby to day care, plus the good day cares in our area don't really have "part time" enrollment, so we have decided that either hiring someone to come to the house a few hours each day or finding a sitter who offers care in their own home is better for us overall.

I am looking for some insight from other moms who work from home that actually have someone coming to their house. How well does it work? Do you still get interruptions? Does baby realize your home and have a problem with not being able to see you? Our house is not big so my office is near the main living area. I am worried that baby will hear me on calls and get upset.

On the other hand, what are your experiences on having baby go to someone's home for a couple of hours a day. I will admit this option is not high on my list, mostly because of my FTM fears of baby not being in a familiar place... or you know... near me

ASmallWonder · January 2014

In the very beginning I'd worry less about baby hearing YOU on calls vs other people hearing your baby while on calls

Without a dedicated spot I think it will get challenging for you to really tune out being the mom while someone else cares for her. Could you work upstairs in your room? Less than ideal but... No one can force you to be ok with outside child care but lots of people do it

You have to trust your gut and do what you're comfortable with.

chapel2012 · January 2014

elmoali said:

In the very beginning I'd worry less about baby hearing YOU on calls vs other people hearing your baby while on calls Without a dedicated spot I think it will get challenging for you to really tune out being the mom while someone else cares for her. Could you work upstairs in your room? Less than ideal but... No one can force you to be ok with outside child care but lots of people do it You have to trust your gut and do what you're comfortable with.

Ha! Didn't even think about this. Yup that is true, that could end up being distracting. We live in a ranch style house so no upstairs. I guess that is another thing to consider.

jlaOK · January 2014

I WFH and send my kids to a daycare center. For all the reasons @K3am mentioned I need total separation from the kids in order to completely focus on work. We have a small house so I can hear everything that is happening from my office. On the days that DH is watching the kids while I'm working I get less done because I'm constantly getting up and seeing how they kids are doing.

You might also take into consideration how much time you'll be spending working when your DH is home from work. I too have a flexible schedule and can work whenever I want, but choose to maintain "standard" hours so that I can maximize family time when my DH is home. Since your job is demanding it might not be possible to only have care 4-5 hours a day.

Sending your baby to daycare while you work is difficult at first but I would encourage you to visit some in home daycares and centers in the hopes that seeing them will help calm your fears. While minimizing the amount of time your child is in daycare may be necessary for some families, it isn't always the best decision for every family.

jf198400 · January 2014

If you are planning to BF it would be really nice to have baby at home so you can just nurse instead of pump. But it also depends on how much control you have over your schedule. If you have a lot of calls or meetings, you might not be able to nurse LO when they need to eat, which would be frustrating. Eventually you will want LO out of the house. Toddlers don't understand well why they can't have mommy when she's just in the other room.

chapel2012 · January 2014

All of these are really good points. I think it will be a good idea to look into some out of the home options.

mae0111 · January 2014

I have been WFH with a nanny for 4 years, and I really love it. I have a dedicated office away from everyone - in the basement at our old house, above the garage now. The kids aren't allowed up to my office when I'm working. It's always been understood, and DD1 doesn't even ask anymore. I think she loves knowing I'm there, and still has a great time with our nanny.

I love being able to take breaks and see them, hear about their days so far, maybe even put them down for a nap/quiet time if my schedule permits.

DD2 is 10 months, and we just had our first issue with her having a meltdown when I tried to return to work after a quick break.

It's hard if you can hear them cry, and it did take some strong self control to allow the nanny to handle certain situations, but overall, I love it!

Good luck with your decision!

ASmallWonder · January 2014

K3am said:

Also FWIW, I never believed ANYONE when they said it, but chances are, your kid will LOVE daycare. The first few weeks were hard, and in all honesty, for a while, they're not doing much. The whole eat, sleep, poop, repeat cycle isn't too far off from how it would be if LO was home with you.

But the minute they start to get just a little mobile, it's all over. Between the other kids, a room that they can safely explore without someone practically on top of them, and a ton of developmentally appropriate stuff, it's a whole new game.

Especially now that DD is in the next room up (I think people call it wobbler room? Basically, the kids are crawling and pulling up, but not properly walking), it has been ridiculously amazing to see just how much fun she's having there.

My 7 month old enjoys himself and his new little friends. My 3.5 year old who has been in daycare since he was 12 weeks old LOVES going to "school." He learns so much and has so much fun

chapel2012 · January 2014

mae0111 said:

I have been WFH with a nanny for 4 years, and I really love it. I have a dedicated office away from everyone - in the basement at our old house, above the garage now. The kids aren't allowed up to my office when I'm working. It's always been understood, and DD1 doesn't even ask anymore. I think she loves knowing I'm there, and still has a great time with our nanny. I love being able to take breaks and see them, hear about their days so far, maybe even put them down for a nap/quiet time if my schedule permits. DD2 is 10 months, and we just had our first issue with her having a meltdown when I tried to return to work after a quick break. It's hard if you can hear them cry, and it did take some strong self control to allow the nanny to handle certain situations, but overall, I love it! Good luck with your decision!

This would be ideal for me, if I had an office space that was separated from the rest of the living space. I can always close my office door, but I don't think it would block most of the sounds coming from the living room.

I really didn't even consider that issue when DH and I were discussing him staying at home. It would essentially be the same thing.

I do love the idea of being able to eat lunch with them and spending time with them during the day though.

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