Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Noethola
member
Re: Loss Check-in
Thanks for posting @neothola!
Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I've been more positive. Went to therapy and had a good session
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
Get through her birthday March 2nd
QOTW: Through this journey, who do you feel has been most supportive of you besides your DH/SO? What have they done that has shown you support/made you feel supported?
My Mother. She checks up on me, openly talks about Ana. I feel she understands this journey and that it is a long one.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?Missing my girl...starting to think about what I want to do for her birthday.
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
I've been trying to write in my journal more and express myself more creatively
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
The big goal right now, is finding a job. My boss let me go after my loss, because she is not a nice person. So I've been applying to everything and anything. Its been hard with Christmas and the crazy storms but hopefully people start calling soon
Definitely my mom and one of my old co-workers. My mom calls everyday, she is always up to talk about Bean which is great. Same with my co-worker. She has become such a great friend. We were both do a month apart and she really made an effort to talk to me and make sure I was ok. She even let me cry while holding her precious baby. She is very very supportive. Its great.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I washed all of the clothes we have so far for this LO, some of them were ones we had for Kayla. I'm feeling better about re-using those clothes.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Getting through my shower. I'm excited for it, but I'm also a little nervous about a day that celebrates this LO so much....I'm afraid I'll feel guilty that we're moving on from Kayla even though I know we aren't. No real plan, just going to wing it.
QOTW: Through this journey, who do you feel has been most supportive of you besides your DH/SO? What have they done that has shown you support/made you feel supported? My best friend, dad and stepmom and inlaws, they have all been great.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I'm feeling a little better since the holidays have passed. I didn't think they went badly, but I guess I was a little stressed.
My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks. Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!
@neptunebljc - FX that a job comes through soon! I am so glad that journaling has been helping you - i have found it to be a really great source of release for me as well.
@angelsnight - ((hugs)) for your upcoming shower. You definitely should celebrate this little one as well, and by no means does that mean you are replacing Kayla. She would want you to celebrate her little sister. I hope the day goes well and you and your LO feel thoroughly loved!
Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
I met with my doctor this week and had a really good talk with her about a future pregnancy as well as talking over some anger that I had been feeling towards her. I left feeling so much lighter and with a more clear Idea of trying for another baby. I was feeling on the fence about trying again and realized after talking with her, I'm just not ready yet, and that is okay. We will probably be waiting until closer to a year post-loss. I want to give my body more time physically to be ready and myself emotionally more time to be ready.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
To get myself in a better, healthier shape.
QOTW: Through this journey, who do you feel has been most supportive of you besides your DH/SO? What have they done that has shown you support/made you feel supported?
A couple of my close girl friends have been amazingly supportive. The main thing they have done is to just be there and listen, and it has been so healing to know they are there.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
Focusing on myself a little bit, trying to make a plan to better my health, lose some weight, and be in a better place physically as well as mentally in a few months when we are ready to try for another baby.
@mingaling2 - I haven't been on FB since 1/1 and I can not tell you how much peace it has brought to my life. I decided over new year's that all it was doing was making me angry and making me focus on what I don't have...i was also using it as a distraction if I ever had a free moment instead of focusing on the moment and feeling my feelings.
I'm coming in late to the check-in but hope everyone is having a good week and finding healing and peace.
1Have you taken any new steps towards healing? I feel like I am in a really good place for the first time in a long time. I am trying to live mindfully and in the moment and really trying to let go of my anger and be thankful for the blessings in my life.
2What's the next goal you have for yourself? How do you plan to achieve it I started a couch to 10k plan and am aiming to run a 10k in the spring (pending my RE allowing me to keep on once we start to ttc in a month-my OB wouldn't let me run so we will see).
QOTW? I have several friends that have been really faithful in stopping to ask me how I am doing at several points in this journey. They also remember important days and let me know they are thinking of me and Bunny. I really hope that one day I am that good of a friend to someone else.
What is on your mind this week? I start my RPL testing tomorrow and I have a ton of questions to ask the RE. I am just really hoping we find some answers and all of this is an easy fix.
8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)
-5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)
11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13
8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF
IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties
12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!! One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15
Everyone Welcome.
@marylaurena - GL with training for the 10k - that is awesome! We ran a 5k last year and I would love to train and go longer. Good luck with your doctors appointment this week!
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? As soon as the weather clears a bit I'm getting back to running. DH and I started a fundraising team for the Promise Walk for Preeclampsia, its the weekend after Jack's due date and I feel thats a nice tribute to him. If I can go through the pain (mental and physical) of the past few weeks, I can sure as hell run 3 miles.
QOTW: Through this journey, who do you feel has been most supportive of you besides your DH/SO? What have they done that has shown you support/made you feel supported? My cousin who has triplets through IF/surrogacy....she's always been my rock even more so now by just checking in and asking me if I want to talk. Ironically, my boss has been helpful too, even though she is pregnant and about to pop any day. When I was in the hospital she called/texted to see how I was doing. She sent me scripture passages, which normally I wouldn't have had an opinion one way or another but in this situation it was very helpful and appreciated.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Speaking of my boss....my boss is on my mind. Since she's leaving for maternity leave any day now, I'm filling in for her responsibilities. However, other people in the office keep dumping new stuff on my plate and I'm very worried I'm going to get over stressed fast. Today matter of fact, I got into an argument with a person on the phone. He wouldnt let me off the phone and I shook my keys and said gotta go and hung up.... LOL
NTNP 2009-2012 TTC since 2012:
Jack has handpicked his sibling up there
My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Get physically and emotionally healthy. Try to eat better, get regular exercise, begin playing music again and some other things.
QOTW: Through this journey, who do you feel has been most supportive of you besides your DH/SO? What have they done that has shown you support/made you feel supported? There have been several women, both new and old friends who have really gone out of there ways to check in with me, pray for and with me, and just love on me.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Longing for a baby. Longing for Zedekiah, who I know I will never have again. But then the additional longing to be to a place where we can think about having another baby. Beside the emotional part, I also had a C-Section, so want to wait until my body is healthy and ready for another pregnancy. But it seems like an eternity to wait!