"No gifts" etiquette

Back story- Clara's birthday invites say "No gifts, please" at the bottom in clear as day size, font, etc.  We don't want her party to be about presents, we want it to be about family and celebrating her.  I already feel we are making this party too big with the amount of people we are having but it's 90% family.  The only thing I could think of that we "wanted" for her or that she "needed" is donations to her education fund.  My father in law suggested we put that on the invite, wording is gently (somehow...).  I wasn't comfortable with asking for money.  So, "No gifts, please" it was!  (I realize that if someone wants to gift something to my child we will graciously accept but I don't want the stress of what to buy her, money, etc)

Current story-I had lunch with her godmother and the party came up and she made the comment "Well you know people will still bring gifts!  It's a birthday party!"  I explained to her that we didn't want to focus on presents but if they wanted to get her something she would definitely use, we'd appreciate education donations.

Future story-What do I do IF people DO bring gifts to the party?!?!  Do we open the gifts that are brought in front of everyone??  That makes me nervous to make anyone who didn't bring one feel embarrassed.  Do we open them later??  I don't want to offend someone by not letting them see her open it/play with it/try it on/etc. 

We still stand by our request but it has definitely added a wrinkle.  I'm thinking about opening them off to the side if they are wrapped presents and opening later if they are cards.  Thoughts?