Short FW?

heathereb23 · January 2014

So I got serious this month and am using the CBEFM, Wondfo OPKs, and temping/charting. Today is CD 11 and I got a peak reading on the monitor and what I think is a positive OPK this morning. I had high readings on the monitor for CD 9 and 10 with negative OPKs. I guess the good news is that both methods are agreeing with each other, and would suggest I will O in 24-36 hours (CD12). But I was expecting more high fertility days on the monitor before I got the peak, and now I'm wondering if I might also O sooner than expected. My H is on board for EOD so we're on schedule to HIO tonight (he's 43 and doesn't think he can handle ED). I guess I just cross my fingers and hope the timing is right? We DTD Monday night and will tonight (Wednesday) so I'm guessing by Friday it will be too late. Kind of sad if we only got 2 shots at it this month. Does anyone else have similar experience?

Sorry for the long post. If it makes any difference, this is my 2nd cycle off BC. I seem to be pretty regular already, cycle was 26 days last month.

ETA: My temp was up half a degree this morning so that is making me nervous as well...

on42 · January 2014

I don't have much advice... I used the fertility monitor for a month, and had two weeks of Highs before I saw a peak. So frustrating! But, if you have a positive OPK and a Peak reading, it sounds like you're good to go. I'd have some sexy time tonight and tomorrow to be sure to cover all bases (if possible - I don't know what EOD or HIO means...?) - sounds like you'll have had great timing!

Good luck!!! Keep us posted on how the TWW goes...

xo

czarmom · January 2014

I also have two high days and then a peak. Backed it up with Wondfos AND a $ store OPK. Been temping too and it looks like everything is accurate. You can check out my chart if you'd like. I don't know what EOD is either (HIO - hump it out, I know

) I would definitely do tonight and tomorrow if at all possible.

heathereb23 · January 2014

So that's the problem :-) EOD is every other day. My H doesn't think he can manage every day. So I guess we focus on tonight and depending what the monitor says tomorrow, if it's still showing peak I try to convince him to go one more time? He might be willing to try as long as it's not several days in a row. But I think tonight is going to give us the best chance.

czarmom · January 2014

I'd say if he can manage both nights, do it. Otherwise, I would make tonight the priority.

heathereb23 · January 2014

Thanks czarmom, that's what I was thinking too. FX for everyone this month!

heathereb23 · January 2014

Well, we tried last night and mission was not accomplished. Another peak reading on the monitor this AM but OPK is not as dark so time must be running out. Really hoping I haven't O'd yet and we can try again tonight. Now how do I help H get over his performance anxiety?

hooligans4 · January 2014

@heathereb23 my husband has performance issues and he swears by doing a few shots of tequila before. I'm not sure if it relaxes him or if it's the stimulant properties in tequila but it usually works.
Good luck

heathereb23 · January 2014

Hmm, interesting idea! Sadly we tried again the next morning and that evening as well (TMI?) and no payoff. I know it's all in his head and he is beating himself up about it, I feel terrible :-(

I think we are just moving on to next month, I'm confused about when I O'd anyway (temps and monitor/OPK disagree, FF is confused too...I posted in another thread about it).

beckajw · January 2014

I'm sorry I have no advice, but I can sympathize. I'm having the same issue. When I get a positive OPK, DH can't finish. He gets upset, which just makes it worse. I got a positive yesterday morning. We did BD the night before, but nothing yesterday. Hopefully, once today--although this morning it wasn't happening.

My plan for next month is to not tell him when I get the positive. I'm going to try to just be casual about it. I'm pretty sure he doesn't pay enough attention to the days to know which days are most likely. I'm hoping if he doesn't know, he'll be more relaxed. I mean, he doesn't seem to have a problem any other time of the month. I think it's just the pressure.

archi35 · January 2014

@ heathereb23 & beckajw: My hubby has the same problem. For him its not the interest, since we're having good sex the other weeks. So its not necessarily a problem with finishing, its a problem maintaining to finish - which he feels (and I agree) is the stress he's putting on himself. He's had his testosterone tested and that's fine so he's not low-T.

Last month he did better than usual and our timing was better, but it was super not fun and felt like a second job for both of us. This month he requested no information and that we try every other day to two days. Fingers crossed that this works out. And if it doesn't he's agreed to talk to his doctor to see if there's any pharmacy assistance out there for our situation.

It's very frustrating for me since I have to leave work early to come home in order to downshift, get in the mood a bit, get the foreplay going, get interested and then.... we're a no go. I realize it probably feels worse to be him but selfishly I'm really over it after just a few months of bad FW sex :-/ I start to feel a little like a "lady of the night" trying to get him to finish (TMI?) !

I'll let you know how it goes and let me know too if anything works for you guys!

HeathernSteven · January 2014

Dh doesn't necessarily have an issue but he gets nervous, so I tell him for the next 10/14 days we will BD every other day (I have sporadic cycle) even If I know I O'd I keep it going so he doesn't "know" when.

However DH doesn't have an issue finishing.....its when he finishes which is a problem (on some nights it is a godsend to be done in 10 mins)

heathereb23 · January 2014

archi35 said:
It's very frustrating for me since I have to leave work early to come home in order to downshift, get in the mood a bit, get the foreplay going, get interested and then.... we're a no go. I realize it probably feels worse to be him but selfishly I'm really over it after just a few months of bad FW sex :-/ I start to feel a little like a "lady of the night" trying to get him to finish (TMI?) !

I feel the same way! I try not to take it personally but it's hard. Plus after a while I am dry as the Sahara, which doesn't help. Introduced Preseed last night, but he was already exhausted and we had to call it a night. Our problem is also maintaining. He doesn't normally have this problem, but is thinking too much about finishing and eventually loses it.

And we're only on month 2 of trying. Hope we figure out a way past this soon.

HeathernSteven · January 2014

@heathereb23 now I slip a little preseed before we get going, sometimes despite everything I too am a desert.

archi35 · January 2014

Oh absolutely - Preseed is our new best friend

I got a few negative reviews on "humidity of the environment close to O" a couple cycles ago. Now that DH is more educated on the cycle he's apparently got comments - its actually pretty funny. ;;) I love that you can get a little Preseed in beforehand without taking away from the mood!

heathereb23 · January 2014

OK so now that we're completely off topic...do you guys use the applicators that come with the Preseed? I haven't read the directions yet.

archi35 · January 2014

I use them on the days I know I'll be dry - just a little bit, about an hour before I anticipate the "sexy times"

But then we also use it as regular lube too.

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